post malone / mileven texting au.

thirty-four.

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR;
VAGINA-PHOBIA.

it was weird sitting across a table from mike, hearing him say the things he'd normally text. weird in the best way.

it was also easier than she thought, being with him. she didn't expect it to feel so natural, but it was. they talked and joked the same way they always had, only this time they had to bite back their grins because they could see one another.

sometimes el couldn't bite back her grin, though. like when he told her about how georgie's coffee joint was the only decent cafe left in town after the other one, named the bean hut, got shut down because the owner was had been caught mixing laxatives in the drinks he served to the police force. a real vigilante, that barista was.

"i don't get why you call your town boring. i mean, from what you've told me about your porn addicted teachers and cop-hating baristas and— well, dustin, you make it sound very entertaining," el expressed as they left georgie's coffee joint, both with half-full cups in their hands — hers being an iced latte, his a regular hot coffee.

he choked out a laugh as he grasped her hand to lead her toward his car back near the bus stop. "entertaining? you must mean disturbing."

"well, if you don't like disturbing, i don't recommend coming to chicago. we are the land that raised kanye if that tells you anything," she said in warning.

he nodded. "don't forget john wayne gacy. he was from chicago, too," he pointed out.

her brows furrowed. "who?"

mike frowned at her confusion. "the killer clown. you've never heard of him?"

she shook her head. "nope, and i don't need you telling me about him. the last thing i need to hear about is a killer clown from the city i live in. i'll never go back again if i do."

"oh, yeah. i should stop talking then. i definitely wouldn't want you hanging around here," he agreed, giving her hand a slight squeeze.

she allowed a small smile to grace her lips. "you know, you're meaner than i was expecting... and taller," she added.

he mirrored her smile. "you're a lot less vulgar than i was expecting... and shorter."

she had to laugh. "that's because i'm still all jittery and nervous. but i promise you, once i get warmed up to you, you're going to eat those words. i am vile and absolutely disgusting, i swear," she assured, her eyes locking on his to prove just how much she meant it.

mike shrugged. "we'll see," was all he said before he gestured in front of them. "here, get in."

her eyes followed his gaze, landing on a dark gray bmw. her brows lifted as she took in the sporty coupe-style car before looking back to him. "this is what you drive?" he nodded sheepishly. "huh. i was expecting like a kia soul or a mini cooper, maybe even a jeep. definitely not this."

he brows pulled together as he clicked his keys to unlock the car. "i feel like that was supposed to offend me," he replied as he walked around to his side.

she went to the passenger side, waiting until they were both in the car, which still smelt new, before saying, "it wasn't an insult. shit, i guess it sort of sounded like one. i just meant that i didn't picture you driving something like this, something so... shiny? i don't know."