post malone / mileven texting au.

one.

CHAPTER ONE;
BITCH IS GENDER NEUTRAL.

(817) 270-6400

hi 🤠🤠

hi

omg u replied
HOLY FUCKING FUCK

??

this is post malone right

right

OH MTGOD HOLY SHIT
IM GOING TO SHIT MYSELF
HI POSTY I LOV E YOU!!!!:!!:
💖💖🥺🥺✨💖💖❤️❤️🥰

i'm just fucking with you

what

i'm not post malone

what
wtf
why would u say u were

why would you think i am??

bc he posted this number
and said to text him

i don't think he did

yes he did

you sure?

oh shit
no he didn't
i put the wrong number tehe
my bad 😗😗

it's fine ig

aw dang 🤧
i rly thought he replied to me
but your not even him

you're*

wow bitch
here's ur medal for the grammar police academy 🏅🏅

thank you
i've been waiting on it

well glad i'm could give ur life of grammar policing some purpose

i'm glad you could too

post malone would never correct someone's grammar
it's quite rude u know

i'm informing the uninformed
plus you called me a bitch
i don't think i'm the rude one

um??
when did i call u a bitch??

2 minutes ago?

oh
HAHAH i didn't even realize
well bitch is gender neutral so 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

it's still an insult

a gender neutral insult tho

??

so what r u
so i can specify my insults ofc

why are you asking?

bc i'm fucking curious damn

i'm a guy

oh cool so u have a peen
i don't
does it float in the bath

what

wait
how old r u

why?