post malone / mileven texting au.

three

CHAPTER THREE;
BIG DICK ENERGY.

post malone

i fucking hate men

was it something i said?

AH IM SO PISSED OFF

i take it your hook up last night didn't go well?

ha
NO
i'm done w men
all of them

does this include post malone?

are u talking abt the real one or urself?

both

ok post malone is the only man i tolerate

are you talking about the real one or me?

both 😇

that's good
so what happened

UGH THIS DUMBASS
i met him at a party a few weeks ago and i was pretty drunk and we hooked up and for some reason i remembered it being good
but evidently i remembered wrong

being drunk has that effect

it's not just that the sex was bad
HE WAS A FUCKING ASSHOLE
he made me go pick up weed w him before we hooked up and his dealer was a creep
and then we got to his frat house and when i tell u it was the most disgusting house i've ever been in, i mean it
and i've seen a LOT of disgusting frat houses in my time 🤮🤮

wait
you're in college??

ha no
i'm a senior in hs
but he's in college
idk how bc he's a fucking idiot
i'm sick of guys who don't know what a clit is

oh

do u know what a clit is

el, you're doing the thing where you ask weird shit and make me uncomfortable

lol i'm sorry 😁😁
i was just going to compliment u if u did
and if u dont, i was going to enlighten u
"inform the uninformed"

okay well yes
i know what that is

good that's important
how do u feel abt lesbians

um
they're cool?

good bc i'm considering experimenting
i'm tired of bad sex u know
surely someone w the same parts as myself knows how to work it, wouldn't u think??

i would say so

hey mike
why don't u get a new gf

i'm focusing on school

awww ur so smart 🥺
lol couldn't be me
i need to figure out how to tell my dad i don't want to go to college 😬

well, it's not for everyone

it's def not for me
school makes me feel dumb 😔

so what are you going to do?

lol i'm a little undecided
i think i'm gonna try to get an apartment in midtown w my friend will
and hopefully get a job
i could def be a bartender for a barista right