Hell Is Better With 𝒀𝒐𝒖 - Sequel to Welcome To Hell

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 1.5 - 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑩𝒆𝒈𝒊𝒏𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈

"I can't believe you!" The screams were echoing, they tingled as they reached my ears, piercing my ears and through to my heart. The words didn't always hurt. In fact, I had become so accustomed to them for a while, this would've been nothing.

I flinched as more loud yells came from the other side of the door, "You'll never be accepted, give up now, pussy!" This time it was followed with pounds of the fist to the wooden door. It shook in its frame, my eyes wide as I watch from the other side of the room. I sat with my arms wrapped around my boney knees, feeling the vibrations on the old wooden floor from the impacts the poor door was taking.

The hits slowed, and the words were drowned out with my tears. Who cared what anyone says when you can't hear over the sound of your own thoughts, right?

It was the only coping I knew. I didn't have an older sibling to go to with my pains, or a best friend to lean on in times of struggle. It was unfortunate, it really was. But I had became so used to it, I couldn't even imagine what it would be like to have someone.

Who would my 'someone' even be? Maybe a beautiful girl with bangs in one of my college art classes, or maybe even an unexpected boy, who doesn't share any interests with me? Would she be sweet and welcoming, or could it be a warm and accepting man? The possibilities were endless. I wanted so badly to believe my someone was out there somewhere.

Could I truly escape from this nightmare, and live a happier life? Did I even deserve to? Who could accept me as me, without questioning my every move, or criticizing every word that falls from my lips?

Suddenly, my thoughts silenced.

The yelling was gone, the abuse to the door was gone. Not a creek in the old house could be heard. Maybe they left, and I could finally be alone.

I sighed quietly, pulling myself up from the floor. My head pounded, feeling like my brain couldn't fit inside my own skull, as I stood from my spot on the floor. I moved to my bed, my tear stained cheeks were sticky as I laid onto my pillow. I stared blankly at my wall, my thoughts slowly becoming clouded with negativity. I was so exhausted. Exhausted of my own thoughts, exhausted of the way I live. Everything about my existence was.. exhausting.

I tossed and turned for hours, my mind never letting me settle into a deep sleep. My eyes were so heavy from the occasional tear slipping down, I just wanted to sleep. Not even my own body could give me just one happiness.

I heard as my family slowly came in for the day, but I never moved from my bed, and tried my hardest to even turn over quietly. I didn't want to attract any attention to the fact I could be home. I had enough for the night. I truly had enough of my entire life.

°°°

I was woken the next morning by a loud knock on my locked, bedroom door. My body shook awake in shock, emotion flooding my body before I could even full wake up.

"Wake up! You have to go to class today!" I could hear my mother's voice from outside my door. She didn't sound happy, but more annoyed than anything. I could hear her muttering about me as she walked away, a sigh pushing past my lips. I closed my eyes, taking a few deep breaths as I sat up in my bed, frustrated that I had to move from this bed at all.

It was my second week of school at my new college. I liked it, for the most part. It was a beautiful campus with beautiful people, I didn't belong. As an art major, I felt so lucky to be there, but that someone better could be in my spot.

I rubbed my face, sighing again as I slowly moved my legs from underneath myself. I stood from my bed and began to get ready, a single tear already slipping past. I so badly wanted to cry, even if I had tried I don't think I could've. Maybe I had finally ran dry of tears.

I made it out of my bedroom after collecting my bags for the day, hurrying through the house before I could run into anyone. I couldn't stand to face anyone today. I wondered what it would be like to wake up in peace and my first thoughts to not be family related, or my first emotions to be watered down fear. I was afraid at some point I'd become so numbed to this, every morning of my life would be the same.

The air outside was cold and thin, the autumn season in its height. It was one of my favorite times of year. The land seemed just as drained as I.

°°°

School was a best part of my day. I was away from home, away from family to finally relax. I was slowly making friends, too. I had met a guy named Chris, with curly chestnut colored hair and a beautiful smile. It wasn't so bad. The closer we got to the end of the classes, the more closed off I found myself. Chris was easy to talk to, and he has plenty of friends in the class. I hated to admit it, but I was more than jealous. Why couldn't I make friends that easily? Was it my appearance, or lack of talent, or maybe even just the fact I can't talk to someone as openly as he?

When class was dismissed, I slowly cleaned my work station from the mess I had created. Most other students rushed to clean up and leave as quickly as possible, but I had nowhere to be. So instead I took my time, trapped in my own thoughts to even think about others around me. Only small smiles every so often due to my own thoughts entertaining me could be seen on my emotionless face. No wonder nobody approached me to be my friend. Maybe if I smiled more, like Chris.

I made my way through the busy campus, most of the students leaving from their own classes at the same time. I felt at peace in the crowd of people. I didn't care if someone was looking, more likely than not, they'd be paying too close of attention to their friends to notice me. The autumn leaves crunched under my boots, and the thin, cool air was my closest friend. I focused on my breathing as I made my way away from the crowd, and down the street. The surrounding area of my campus was so beautiful, I didn't mind being alone here.

I found a bench along a river, watching as birds flew freely above. The sky was clear, the sun warm on my skin although the cool wind still fought for dominance.

I let my eyes trail over the horizon, catching sight of the bridge. Cars traveling over it looked so small in the distance. No boats were in the water, leaving the water to be untouched. It was a beautiful sight. I pulled out my sketch book from my bag, and began to draw the scene before me.

°°°

When I arrived home for the evening, it was already nightfall. I didn't care for what time it was, just if it was late enough to not run into any family members. It was sad, hiding from people in my own home. I couldn't truly call it a home.

The front door latched behind me, the sound of frying coming from down the hall, in the kitchen. Shit..

"Jaehyun? Is that you?"