Hell Is Better With 𝒀𝒐𝒖 - Sequel to Welcome To Hell

𝘾𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 7.5 - 𝙉𝙤𝙩 𝙅𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝘼 𝙎𝙤𝙪𝙡

Death is easy. It's easier than living. There wasn't people to worry about how they thought of me, I didn't need to do something or present myself in a way to earn love, or attention, or friendship. It was easy as breathing, it just was.

And here I was, just being. It was everything I had hoped for, what I looked for in my final moments. All I wanted was to find peace, to not feel the harsh criticism of the world on my shoulders. It was unfortunate what I had to do to find the peace though.

The silence was deafening. For now, it was a good thing. My thoughts were loud, sure, but not screaming as they had been on Earth. There was no sounds of air, wind, my own breathing, nothing. Just my thoughts in the blank vastness.

My thoughts didn't fight with me anymore. They weren't out to get me, or make me feel worse anymore. The demons within had silenced, and now it was just me and my pure thoughts. The dark thoughts that had once screamed louder than all else seemed to disappear the moment the blankness began. Maybe the demons I fought died when I died. Again, unfortunate that it came to this to rid myself of that pain.

The emptiness wasn't scary, it wasn't well, anything. I wasn't scared something could be in there, I just knew I was alone, just me and my thoughts. For a moment, I felt as if I was just thoughts. No body, no heart, just thoughts in a blank vastness.

Death didn't answer any of my questions about the afterlife. Or maybe it answered all of my questions, I wasn't sure yet. It seemed as though there was nothing afterwards, just a deep void where my thoughts exist. But at the same time, I still wanted to believe something else was coming, this wasn't the end yet. I didn't know what, or who, but it didn't feel complete.

I didn't feel fear for the afterlife no longer, just curiosity. Why was I here, and where? How did this come to be? I had so many questions still, just as living Jaehyun had as well.

For a while, I was sure I had no body. Just thoughts in the empty void, no pain. I couldn't see anything, I couldn't see myself. The memories that flashed before my eyes felt like so, so long ago that I could hardly remember what I looked like. But at the same time, it felt like it had happened just yesterday. I had no perception of time.

There was just, well, nothing. And I was okay with that. At least for now.

I wondered what would happen, and when things would change. I also wondered if my parents had heard of the news yet, and what they thought of it. I didn't know how much time had passed, it felt like forever but at the same time it felt like just a little while as well. I didn't feel sadness for them, or for myself anymore. It just was.

The uncomfort I felt thinking about my parents is what caused me to realize I did in fact have a body, and could move.

It scared me at first, the shock of realizing I wasn't just a soul, or thoughts somewhere in an abyss, it scared me. It took me quite some time to do it again, a single twitch of my toe. It was the oddest thing.

I couldn't feel my body, it didn't feel as though I had anything unless I forced myself to move. It was different from on Earth, where movements came naturally. Everything felt different.

I didn't move around too often at first, but the curiosity got the best of me and before I knew it, I realized I was standing. It was so shocking, I didn't feel alive at all. I didn't feel human, not in the slightest. Every small movement I performed felt like a spectacle. It felt grand, and special. I put all my thought into just standing, or waving.

But still, I stood in blackness. I waved into a void, I looked left and right, turning my head to see nothing at all. What could the purpose be of giving me a functional body in a vast of nothingness. I didn't get it.

I didn't find myself growing bored of the afterlife, even after realizing I could move. It gave me something to focus on, and something more to question myself on. I had all the time in the world to think of the worlds questions, and how things may have came to be. But I still couldn't understand why I had a body in the afterlife.

Even worse, why did I still have to be in the same body? All my life I had thought that we were all just souls, and our bodies were our transportation, not our true selves. I could've been anyone else, given any other body, but I was still stuck in the same. I immediately recognized myself, a mole on my arm being recognizable to my body I lived in for my whole life.

But still, the question would always return of, why do I have a body, and why can I move it? Where am I going that I need this body? Can I not just exist here in this blank void for as long as I wish?

It was slightly anxiety inducing, the thoughts of my body. Not real anxiety, of course, but the anxious thoughts kept finding their way in and reminding me of just how confused I was.