I Don't Do Relationships

Never Say Never

As soon as Scott told me he knew Nicky, I knew that meant Chris did and I wasn't surprised at all. Deep down, I already knew they had to know each other.

"Honestly, I figured he did. Chris has been in Hollywood for a while now too, so I thought there was a possibility they crossed party scenes. As much as I tried not to follow what Nicky did, either I got too curious at times or it was plastered on social media from friends we grew up with. That's why I kind of backed away from keeping up with friends back home online. Someone would always post something about him."

Scott motioned for me to scoot over so he could sit in the oversized chair with me. I had to sit a little in his lap but he just wanted to wrap me in a big hug as he mumbled into my hair. "A fucking text. After being together that long. What an ass. Hopefully, judging by things I've heard about him, he has caught something from somebody and it's crawling around his dick making him constantly itch."

Pushing back from him, I couldn't believe he had just said that. "Scotty! That's awful. It's been a long time."

"But you are still dealing with it, no matter how long ago it was."

"I think I'm doing okay."

"He was your first wasn't he?"

I spoke quieter. "Take your pick. We were each other's first's for just about everything. Basically we were attached at the hip. If someone wanted to know where one of us was, they knew to just look for the other one."

"Have you been in a long term relationship since then?"

I just looked at him, I didn't want to answer.

"This is why you have held my brother at arms distance?"

"Let's go inside, I feel like the bugs are biting." Trying to either change the topic a little from Chris, I began my way down the walkway to the house while we continued talking. "I have tried to date, but there was just too much self-doubt and hesitation on my part. I felt like it wasn't fair to the guys so I just stopped."

"Y/N, I know it's technically none of my business, but I'm glad you talked to me about it. Especially if you have gone all these years not discussing it at all. It explains why you don't date. But sweetie, you deserve to be happy, I don't see you as someone who wants to be alone for the rest of your life."

"Scott, I feel like I've known you forever. I consider you one of my best friends now. You've made it easy to talk about this."

"Oh wow! So have I exceeded expectations enough to climb over Calvin?"

"Hey now, what Calvin and I have is very different. He was the one that helped me take the steps forward after I had to find out who I was without Nicky. I have a different kind of relationship with Calvin but I consider you right up there with him in a different way. Give it time though, I feel like the friendship you and I are building is gonna be one for the books"

"Well, I must say, I am pretty awesome to have around! But that accent of Calvin's and hearing it all the time, that has to be just, well I don't know how you stay just friends and it's a shame he isn't gay."

"I concur on both accounts! I do need to talk to Chris about Calvin. He is just a friend, but at one point, we did kind of try the dating thing. He's the one I was with for a bit, but I cared too much about him to not be able to fully commit to a normal relationship at the time and I called it off while we were still at a point of remaining friends. I was never able to move past it when Calvin and I were more than friends. Now......... well that will never happen with Calvin because I think of him more in a brotherly way now. I mentioned it to Chris once when we were walking in the beach but I didn't go into too much detail."