Taking Chances - P. JM

- Seventeen

"Are you okay Y/N? Are you not feeling well?" Mom asked as I sat with her and Yugyeom during dinner, I look at her and nodded my head.

Another lie has been said.

"I've already talked to the school admin and they agreed to let you have an early break," Mom said and she turned to look at Yugyeom.

"Are you sure that you don't want to come with us?"

"No auntie, I am fine here since my sister will be home for Christmas," he said and I smiled, so Soohyun will be home.

I only stared at my food and I couldn't stop thinking about what I've heard from the faculty and I can't imagine all the things she said to the teachers. I heard that everyone is proud of Jimin and Natalia's achievement.

"Do you want anything for your birthday?" She asked and I shake my head.

I look at her and bite my lip.

"Nothing mom, but I have a question," I said.

"Yeah? What is it?"

"Did you have a first love?"

Her eyes widen and Yugyeom looked at me and Mom look at Yugyeom before she let lot a quiet chuckle.

"What a question love,"

I chuckle, "I'm curious mom. Why there is such a thing as first love, why young loves falls apart."

Hyunjin is my first boyfriend and I thought I loved him but it completely changed when I met Jimin, my perspective change, my feelings for Jimin was like a burning flame, it's intense.

"Is this about Hyunjin?"

My lips twitched a bit and I kinda hope that it was Hyunjin, but no, Hyunjin might be easier to handle than Park Jimin.

"But yes, I have a first love" Mom suddenly said

And that made me wonder if that's my dad.

"You know why is it called first love?" She asked and Yugyeom and I were suddenly so attentive with what she will say next.

"It is called first love because that's where you learn the most. You will learn how to love and that loving right isn't just about pouring your self to the other person. Pain will change you because your first love will definitely hurt you and I personally think that first loves aren't meant to stay, they're just meant to teach you a lesson and allow yourself to be someone better."

I never thought hearing my mom talk like this will make me feel a bit better. Even if I didn't mention anyone's name.

And my hopes intensifies. I hope that Hyunjin is my first love but at the same time, I feel like Jimin is only one I should call my first love.

"Do you ever get over your first love mom?"

My mom's smile faltered and I already knew the answer.

"How do you get over it?" I asked.

"Mija, there are things in life that you'll never get over because if you did, then you'll forget the lesson"

I stared at my mom and think that even if our relationship was flawed and my mom is not perfect and she lacked on things and how she raised me. I still love her.

I went inside my room and think about it. All the things my mom said and all of the thoughts I had earlier.

I called Jimin and he immediately answered and I breathed heavily.

"Y/N.." Jimin said softly with a laugh

"Can we talk?"

"Hm, of course, but you can wait too I will go home now"