Taking Chances - P. JM

Thirty One

My heart is beating loudly as I entered my car, Jimin was following closely.

I think of all the possible questions that he might ask me but nothing can calm the loud poundings against my chest and even when we're already inside, my mind is elsewhere.

I inhaled sharply as we walk through the aisle's, he's behind me pushing, the cart silently.

I took a box of chocolate drink and I saw him pick one too and his eyebrows were furrowed as he read the nutrition facts of  the drink he's holding. I never hide to anyone that I have a son, I just never post about Minjun in my socials, for security and privacy purposes as well. Being with Jimin now and telling him that I have to go home for dinner so I can have a meal with my son made me wonder, does Jimin already know that I have a child? It's impossible that he doesn't know.

I swallowed so hard when I saw the look on his face when he put the box of chocolate milk down. He look away and picked up something else and with the same expression he reads the label and my eyes widen when he put the drink down inside the cart before looking at me.

"Try this instead, it looks way healthier" He said nonchalantly and start pushing the cart again.

I hummed and just watch his back. "Jimin, what do you want to ask me?" I said softly when we reached the cashier.

He looked at me and raised his eyebrow before looking away.

"I want a dinner with you on Wednesday." he said

"Uh, I'm sorry actually... that's the fashion show of the designer we went to earlier plus opening of their restaurant."

He raised his eyebrow and tilted his head to the side. "I'm sorry I can't cancel it, I already said yes to them.."

I showed him the invitation and he stared at it intently, I swallowed so hard.

"We can have dinner on tuesday, I'm free in the evening."

He sighed and returned the invitation before looking at me, "I have an important meeting that evening."

"Oh.."

"I'll see if I can cancel."

"What- No, It's just a simple dinner, no need to cancel your meeting for it, I'm sure we'd find a time."

He didn't say anything and I gave my card to the cashier before looking at him again.

"We can have dinner before the show and opening, we'll eat near the venue." Jimin said sternly and I found myself nodding at his plan.

We didn't talk anymore but he helped me carry what I have bought in my car, I said thank you and then I left. He's following me until I entered the hannam hill gate.

I rested my head against the headrest, tapping my hand against the steering wheel as I thought about how normal I seemed to be but a complete mess in the inside.

When I planned all of this, I thought that everything will be easy. I thought that I just need to talk to Jimin, let him meet Minjun then I'm done here and will go back to London but now Jimin is just out of my reach I suddenly couldn't bring myself to tell him.

I hug myself as I shiver, thinking about Jimin's possible reaction about it and I couldn't help but to think of the possibility of him accusing me, that I am lying. He might think that I'm just lying so I could get him back or make him forgive me for the mistakes that I did in the past.

He has moved on, he's not hung up with me and I know that he doesn't want to be involved with me romantically. He won't forgive me easily, he's angry and trying to make fun of me now through his offers. My only goal here is to be in good terms with him so I can finally say about Minjun.