Monster's Daughter (Legacies Fanfic)

History

Hope POV

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Caroline struggles to find something to say

"What did you name them?" she asks

"Hayley Eliza" I mumble trying to keep my mind off of my beautiful perfect baby

"Thats perfect" she smiles

"mhmm" I mutter

I take my bag from carolines hand and walk to my room

"Hope..." she starts but is intrupted by me slaming my door in her face

I leap onto my bed wrapping myself in my blankets breathing in their scent

I start to cry 

I try to stop but all I can think about is her fragile body and her crys that I wouldn't be able to comfort next I thought about how lonely I was without my mom

I try to bury my face in my pillow but I'm restless, I spring up from my bed and start pacing and whimpering

I run my fingers through my hair 

I need a distraction or anything

I run to the bathroom and hop in the shower and turn the cold water on I try to close my eyes and calm down but I feel.....heavy, I look down and realize all of my clothes on

"Son of a bitch" I start sliding my wet heavy clothes off taking deep breathes

Then I stare down at the bottom of the bath tub and I start to panic and pant

I remember watching the blood drip down the drain

I remember panicking and sobbing and feeling so helpless and alone

I slip out of the shower and reach for the sink I clutch it with both hands

I look at the sink my arms shake I remember the burning on my arms and how I scrambled infront of the mirror to fix and hide the burns

I run to my bureau scrambling to find clothes to wear

I rumage through my drawers 

But my mind takes me back to scavenging for pain pills

"I can stay here, I can stay here, you can do it" I mutter to myself sliding on my clothes

Then I turn around and look at the hole still punched in the wall

"I can't stay here" I cry runing back and forth

I pull out my phone and start scrolling

I shake my hands and keep pacing

I go through the recent calls in phone 

I find my Aunts number and press on It

I start to feel more nervous and trapped as I pace there and listen to the tone

"Hope are you ok" Auny Freya picks up after a few minutes of nervous waiting

"Its so much, It's all so much everything is here and everything was there and  I-I.." I whimper

"Hope what do you mean, are you ok"

"Yeah, yeah,yep,yep,I'm good, I'm good"

"Hope whats wrong you sound anxious are you ok do you need me to help I can turn around and come get you" 

"Its hard to be here right now thats,t-hats it,there is just so many memories and my room its like it belonged to a whole different person, Its al-ll bad memories and I can't be in this room......I miss my mom and....all I can think is I abandoned her or maybe she's better off.....I wish I could stay with her but I know its better....All this room reminds me of is pain and I can't stay in this room"

"Hey I'll message Caroline and ask her if you can stay in an extra room or somewhere else, Hope please stay on the phone I'm worried about you"

"No need to be worried" I say quickly

"Hope please, just talk to me about anything"

"You asked me about my feelings earlier and I didn't want to talk about it because I was going to start crying and I wouldn't want to leave...and right now I feel like my lungs are useless and I can't breathe and I have so much energy,I can't sit still for long amounts of time and I pace and I get dizzy then I have to sit or try to calm down and then my head starts pounding then I can't think then I feel like I'll start to cry but I can't cry then Its like everything is happening at once and I just want to lay on the ground and try to calm down and then my chest starts to hurt and then I worry its something serious which makes me scared because I have stuff to do and responsibilities and shit.....sorry for my language" 

"I didn't know you felt like this" Freyas voice shakes

"Shoot now I'm crying " I chuckle "How is Hayley"

"She's doing good, right now Kol is asleep on the couch holding her in his arms, She was a little fussier this morning acording to Rebekah and then Kol picked her up and she just stoped crying, then Kol just spent the rest of the day with her till he tried to put her to bed but she kept waking up and Kol took her out of her crib and held her until she fell asleep and then he tried to put her back but she woke up and then he had to pick her up again and then she fell asleep in his arms but he was so tired he fell asleep too"(She took a plane back to New Orleans and left the car with hope so she could drive out on weekends, just FYI)

"I wish I was there to see it"I say wiping tears away

Then I hear my door creak open 

"Thats her, I have to go, goodnight Aunt Freya"

"Goodnight Hope, call me if you need and update or just to talk anytime anyplace"

"I will" I say before hanging up

"Hey Hope I'm here about switching rooms, right now you can stay in a guest room until we find something more permanent, is that okay?"Caroline says trying to sound awake even though she clearly hasn't slept in a while

"Thank you" I say picking up my bag 

As I step into the dimmed hallway she gets a full glance at my tear stained face

"Are you ok"She ask looking at me with the classic concerned mother look I had seen her give Josie and Lizzie a thousand times

"Yep, I just got nervous and the room has so much history for me and it was...overwhelming" I try to explain

"I understand that" She says pulling out a key and unlocking the door to the guest room

"Thank you so much again"I say setting my bag down on the floor 

"If you need anything else you know where I am don't hesitate to ask" She says walking back to the main office

"I won't" I whisper back

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Woah two updates in one day that hasn't happened in a while, I am excited to continue writing after I wrote the last two chapters I've been thinking of more plotlines and ideas and I finally updated my story outline which I have put off time and time again while writing this so I hope it gives me better structure and you a better read. Thank you for the comments and votes