Ace - Book 1

Chapter 61.

My previous 'help needed' chapter was a mixed bag of people wanting a sequel and people not wanting one - so I will just decide what flows more naturally as I come to the end of this book. Thanks for all who helped xo

Ace

15th January

         Driving home, I had an unsettled feeling in the pit of my stomach because I knew what I was about to do would either start everything or wreck everything. My eyes flickered between the road ahead and Elle in the passenger side seat humming along to the music on the radio. I didn't understand a lot of emotions or why I felt them, but I understood the one that sat in my chest and caused my heart to thud when I looked at her, I knew what it was that made every shit joke from her funnier somehow, I knew what it was that made me want to protect her with every bone within me. I loved her. I loved Elle Matthews.

 I wanted to tell her, I did, at the date I had almost said it a million times. I was cautious because she deserved to know the person she was with before love was brought into it, she deserved to have the choice to leave me once she knew who I really was and I owed it to her to let her know what she had gotten herself into.

 "Are you okay? You seem off," Elle asked as we moved closer to my apartment block where we would be staying the night, that is if she wanted to after what I was going to tell her.

 "Yes and no," I said, my eyes flickering briefly from the road to look at her. She was looking over at me with a confused expression swept over her features.

 "What's the matter?" She asked, her hand reaching over to settle on my knee. 

 "I want to tell you something- but, uh, I have something to tell you before I can tell you it," I said, realising how confusing the words sounded when they tumbled from my lips. My chest felt tight, I knew she would probably leave me after this conversation and that didn't sit right with me.

 "What?" She asked, her eyebrows furrowed.

 I pulled into the parking lot of the apartment block and pulled the car into my normal parking spot. "I have something I need to say to you, but I need to tell you something else before I do that," I said and she slowly nodded, rubbing circles in my knee.

 "C'mon, let's go inside. We can talk there," she said and I nodded, I got out of my side and rushed over to hers to pull open the door and help her out, slamming the door closed behind her before locking the car.

 I threaded my fingers with hers and relished the feeling as we walked away from the car together and towards the apartment block. The tension was unbearable as we walked inside and up the stairs, she was probably running over every single thing I could say to her and worrying herself. I hated worrying her.

 When we got to my door, I pushed in the key and opened the door, letting her in first. She immediately kicked off her shoes and went to sit on the sofa, motioning for me to join her after I had closed and locked the door. I sighed, walking over to the sofa to sit down. "I don't even know where to start," I said, rubbing my hands over my face in distress.

 "Start what?" She asked softly.

 "I need to tell you things, about my past, about what I've done... So you can decide if you want to be with me," I said and her eyes widened slightly.

 "You don't need to tell me anything," she shook her head.

 "I know I don't need to, but I want to. You deserve to know this stuff," I said and she shuffled closer.

 "If you're ready, then I'm ready to listen. And nothing, I mean nothing will make me want to not be with you," she said to me and it took everything for me not to scoff.