Hard Love

Chapter 10

Jay and I are, okay. I mean we're not great, but we're not bad. We're okay. Some people think having an okay relationship is bad, but I don't. I think it's fine.

I just realized that we don't hang out a lot anymore. I mean I don't know why, and it makes me kind of upset. I hope everything is okay between us. What if everthing isn't okay? What if, what if. Calm down. Calm down.

I'm sure everything is okay. Let's do something to get my mind off of Jay. Let's see. I can. I can listen to my iPod. I grab my iPod and headphones. I sit in my bed listening to a bunch of songs for nearly four hours.

When I finish listening to my music, I bet some food. Then, I get ready for bed and continue listening to my iPod. I fall asleep with my headphones still in.

I wake up and get ready for school. I walk to school trying to avoid everyone I see. I'm still thinking about me and Jay. What if everyone's right to feel nervous when everything is just okay in a relationship? What if something bad is happening between us? What if we don't last much longer?

I try focus on something else, but my mind keeps focusing Jay. I grab my makeup and put a little on. There. I got my mind on something besides, him. It doesn't last long. Why can't I focus on anything, but Jay?

I get to school and go straight to school avoiding most people. I don't see Jay yet, which is good. I don't want to see him right now. I'm too upset, emotionally. I go the whole school day without interacting with a lot of people. That's good, to me.

I go home and sit downstairs thinking about how much fun me and Jay have had. I can't keep dating Jay. It's getting too weird. It's not weird enough to break up. Atleast it's not weird enough now. Yeah. We're fine.

I'm going to invite Jay over. We should hang out. I text him and he comes over after about 10 minutes. "Hey," Jay says when he comes in.

"Hey," I say.

"What's up?"

"We should talk."

Jay comes inside and sits next to me. "What is it?" He asks.