Hard Love

Chapter 37

Just another quick a/n. I just wanted to apologize to anyone if they didn't like or felt uncomfortable with my last chapter. I totally get if it did. So I just wanted to say that I was sorry. :)

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I wake up and feel a soft hand on my hip. I, almost instantly, smile realizing that it's Jake. I slowly move out of my bed, not wanting to wake him up. After successfully getting out of bed without waking him up, I mentally high-five myself. Call it weird. I don't care.

I decide I want to do something sweet for him, so I go downstairs and make him breakfast. I decide that'll make pancakes and bacon. To be completely honest with you, I'm mainly doing because I was really in the mood for pancakes. Just before I finish the bacon, Jake wakes down. His hair is messy and his eyes barely open. He looked really cute. I smile at myself then say, "Good morning sleepy head."

Jake smiles at me then says, "Why thank you. Are you making breakfast?"

Jake's now eyeing the pancakes. I smiley sweetly and nod. I hand him his plate and he insintly starts to eat. I laugh a little. Jake looks up with a questionable look. I just shrug and make my plate. After we finish, I try to grab Jake's plate, but he stops me. "Let me get them," Jake says. "It's the least I can do for you."

I can feel myself blush. As Jake walks past me, he kisses my cheek. "I'm going to go take a shower," I say, heading upstairs. Jake just nods.

I grab my outfit for the day. I decide that I'll wear some leggings, a purple flannel shirt, and a blue tanktop. I walk into the bathroom and start the water.

After my shower, I get dressed then start with my hair. I stare at myself in the mirror while I brush my hair. I don't know why, but I look like I'm trying not to cry. Why would I want to cry? Nothing was wrong, right? Then it came to mind. I'm going to loose Jake in a matter of days. I feel tears start to form in my eyes. I quickly wipe them away and finish with my hair. I walk downstairs to find Jake dressed for the day. I gave him a questionable, not knowing how he changed. He said, "I figured I'd give you some time, so I went home and made myself look presentable."

"You always look presentable," I say, smiling a genuine smile.

"Thanks," Jake said and kissed my forehead. I smiled again. Jake must have noticed that my eyes looked a little red from when I was about to cry in the bathroom. Jake's expression went from happy and loved, to concerned and worried expression real fast. "What's wrong," Jake asks, genuinely concerned.

"I just remembered that I'm going to loose you in a matter of days," I say, choking out the words. Jake brings me into a hug and rests his chin on my shoulder. I lay my head on his chest. I try my best to not cry. It works, surprisingly. Jake breaks the silence by saying, "It won't be for long. I promise. I'll be back before you even notice that I'm gone."

I can hear Jake's voice break. I knew that he wasn't sure how long he'd be gone, but I didn't say anything. I just nodded. I didn't have the strength to say anything. That and I was scared my voice would crack, too. I just stayed quite.

After a little while, I finally get the nerves, and the stomach, to say something. I manage to get out, "When are you leaving?" I'm looking at the ground, just incase I tear up at all.

Jake lets out a sigh. It sounds like an angry sigh. I wonder why. "Can we just drop the subject?" Jake asks, kind of mad. Ah. That's why. He doesn't want to talk about him leaving. I get it. But apparently my mouth doesn't understand, because next thing I know, I'm saying, "No." I'm now staring up at him.

Jake says cautiously, "Kay. I said drop it."

Anger was now rising up me. Why? Jake didn't do anything, right? Apparently I'm wrong. I angrily repeat myself, "When are you leaving?"

Jake stares at me coldly. "Do you really want to know?"

I test him, demanding an answer. "Yes. Now tell me."

"Fine. I'm leaving next Friday. And maybe it's good I'm leaving so soon."

As soon as he says it, I instantly regret pushing him. I could see that Jake regrets what he says, too. His expression softens. Jake then says, "I'm so so-"

I cut him off angrily. "Save it. Maybe it is a good that you're leaving so soon. I mean it's not like you have anything worth while here."

Tears are now filling me eyes. Jake upset now. He clearly doesn't want anything bad to happen to us. I quickly realize that. Jake says, "Kay. Please. I do have something here. And it's better then anything else in the world. That something is you. So please, forgive me. I don't want to loose you over some little, useless, pointless fight. If I could, I would stay here with you. It kills me inside to know that I'm going to have to leave you. So please. Don't get so mad at me that you leave me."

I could fell the tears rushing down my cheeks. I walk over to him and lay my head on his chest, then hug him tightly. As soon as I can breathe, I look up at Jake and say, "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to push you so much. I just can't believe that you'll be leaving. And I promise that I won't leave you any time soon."

More tears come out, but I manage I smile. I have no idea how, though. I'm so upset it must be a miracle that I'm still managing to smile.

Jake kisses my cheek and smiles.

"Good." We sit there, hugging each other. I still can't believe he's going to be leaving. And so soon.

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I just wanted to tell you guys two things. One, do you think I should do author notes more often? Two, I have admit, I almost cried at so many spots while writing this. I really hope I didn't kill you guys too much. Please VOTE and tell me what you think in the comments!! ;)