Hard Love

Chapter 21

Jay scares me when he says, "Were you with Sean?"

I didn't know he was here. "Yeah," I say. "Why?"

"Nothing," Jay fakes.

Jay seems upset. Jealous even. I smile in the inside. He still cares. Oh well.

"Okay then," I say and leave.

I smile as soon as Jay can't see me. I go upstairs and find Val. "Tell me everything," she pleades.

"Fine," I say.

Skylar walks in as soon as I start. I tell them everything. Well almost everything. I left out the part with Jay sounding jealous. I want to keep that to myself for now. When I finish, they smiles. "He sounds amazing," Val says.

"No," Sky says, smiling. "Perfect."

"Too good to be true," I say quietly.

I have to admit, he seems too good to be true. What if he is too good? I mean, he chose me, not anyone prettier. Why? He must feel sorry. That's how it works with guys anyway. They don't care about you as much as you care about them. Half the time, they pick you because they feel sorry for you. I shouldn't too attached to Sean. He'll just leave me soon. I wouldn't want to get to upset, or look too upset. That's when the guys come. Then they go. It's an endless cycle.

Oh well. At least Sean's mine for now. That's what I should be focused on. Now, not later, or before. Now.

I go to my room before I look upset. I sit on my bed thinking more about Sean and I. After a while, I decide that I should just end it now. Before he can hurt me. Before I get too attached to him. Before I care.

I wonder if I should talk to Sky and Val about this. No. Not them. Not anyone. It's my relationship. My decision. No matter how stupid it might seem, that's what I think I should do. After all, I did say boys don't care like girls. That means Sean must not think about me as much as I've thought about him.

I finally fall asleep, but not for long. I wake up around four. I don't know why, but I do. I get ready for the day, go downstairs, grab my jacket, and go oustide. I walk to the park where Sean caught me and burst into tears. Once again, I don't know why. I can only guess it has to do with Sean.

I guess I cry for about ten minutes before I realize I'm crying. I care about Sean. God. I guess me trying so hard, made me care. I have to calm down and end it. Now.

I head towards the hotel and I bump into someone. "Sorry," I say.

"It's all good," I hear someone say.

It sounds like- no. I look up and see Sean. He smiles at me and I smile back. I couldn't help it. "What are you doing out this late?" Sean asks. "Where you crying? Are you okay?"

"I was just thinking," I lie. "And I'm fine."

I try to walk past him, but he holds me there. "Tell me what's wrong," Sean says, looking into my eyes.

"I- I- I can't," I say. "Not now. Sorry."

I look down, avoiding him.

"Tell me what's wrong," he says, holding onto my shoulders.

I look up into his eyes. I can feel my eyes watering up. "I care about you," I finally get out.

"What?" Sean says, partly because he couldn't and partly because he couldn't believe it.

"I care about you. That's why I'm upset."

"What? Why is that bad?"

"I can't care about you."

I look down. Sean pulls my chin up, so he can look me in the eye. "I care about you too," he says smiling.

I can feel my heart break into a million pieces. I wanted to hear that, but I don't know how to feel. I feel happy, confused, like he may be lying. I stare into his eyes. I see him lean in and kiss me. I kiss him back. I shouldn't end it yet. It deserves to continue.