He Started It by Hitting on Me

The Jonghyun Lovin' Twerp Comes Back

"Rock, Paper, Scissors, say shoot! Ha, I- you changed it to rock!"
"No I didn't."
"Yes you did, I just saw you."
"If you really can't stand losing, then don't make up lies and keep your mouth shut."
", I saw you change paper to rock! I win this time!"
"I already won, so shut up. ing bastard."
Jonghyun threw his hands over his head and groaned. "This is not fair and you know that. I don't want to do extra problems," Jonghyun complained, wrinkling his eyebrows in displeasure.
I shrugged. "You asked to play 'Rock, Paper, Scissors' to determine what you were going to do. You lost and now you have to do these problems," I pointed at the white sheet of paper that was inked with seventeen problems that had to do with the climate. He was struggling a bit on this chapter. I need him to have some practice so he would get used to questions like those on the exam.
"But you cheated! You know you cheated. I saw it with my own eyes," Jonghyun claimed.
I pushed the sheet of paper with my forefinger nearer to him. "Do it. Now."
He stared at me for a moment, his eyes burning through my own. I stared back at him, my gaze impassive compared to his scowl. He didn't blink in the moment's time he was glaring at me. I tried not to but I did it anyways because my eyes were stinging. He smirked. "You blinked~" he sang.
"Do your work~" I sang back, pushing the sheet of paper closer to him. He looked down at the sheet, grumbled incoherent Korean, and grabbed his pencil to begin the first problem.
I sighed in satisfaction and leaned back in the chair. We were having one of those tutoring sessions again at his house. It was a warm Thursday in June, with the day being clear and mild weather. Jonghyun's final exam for everything he has learned with me from the first month of our tutoring sessions was coming up soon. It took a long time getting him into the books, but he's finally studying... when I'm around. I'm still contemplating if he really does study when I'm not present.
I looked at Jonghyun as he did his work. One hand was scribbling on the paper while the other was resting against his cheek. He looked uninterested in this position, but he was absorbed in the work if you look into his eyes.
It took a lot of arguing and agreements between us to get the tutoring going well. Somehow we made it work and it's been flowing easily. Sometimes he complains more than needed and I want to strangle him to an eternal rest. And some of the time, I boss Jonghyun around a lot that he wants to rip my hair out. Our feelings are mutual on some occasions.
Jonghyun flipped his hair out of his eyes with one swift movement and went back to working on. He had cut his hair. I could see that it is now shorter. He had gotten his hair cut with the rest of the guys. I don't know why but Key likes to change hair color/styles. He doesn't change it frequently, just when he gets bored. He takes the guys with him. This time Key became a blonde. Four out of five guys didn't do much to their hair. Taemin, Onew, Minho and Jonghyun were the only ones who didn't go for a daring change.
I watched as Jonghyun bit his upper lip with precaution; he was probably stuck on one question. The pencil moved against the paper.
Jonghyun's cheekbones are really something. I've just noticed them now. He has a fair complexion, which is weird because I always pictured him with acne. It seems like he doesn't have any. Beneath his bangs I could make out the thick eyebrows that hung above his upper eyelids. His nostrils, again, are really open. They're just like, "Put something inside there. Dare to see what fits and what doesn't."
And then what if I put in a train set? Would that be possible? I think it would hurt the boy, but it would go in. I should make a mental note on that.
"Um, hello?" I snapped back to reality, only to find Jonghyun staring curiously at me, his mouth hanging ajar.
"Uh, yeah what is it?" I asked, sitting up straight.
"I said I was done," he replied, waving the paper in the air.
I raised my eyebrows. "Oh, you're done already?" I asked incredulously.
Jonghyun nodded slowly. "I was done a few minutes ago and I tried to tell you, but you seemed to be daydreaming or something."
"I was?" I asked, though I knew the answer to that.
"Yeah. What was it about?"
Ah, crap. I pressed my lips together. "Oh, nothing really," I replied, lying smoothly.
Jonghyun furrowed his eyes. "You sure...?" he asked quietly, raising an eyebrow.
I nodded almost too quickly. Like hell I was going to tell him what I was really thinking about.
Jonghyun didn't seem to buy it. He propped one elbow on the desk and let his face rest against his palm. "You were smiling, you know that?" he asked.
I scratched my head. "I was thinking about something that made me smile...?"
Jonghyun raised his eyebrows for a moment but his eyebrows suddenly relaxed and he squinted his eyes slightly. "Were you thinking about me?" he asked.
Actually I was thinking about your nostrils, but who knows what kind of excuse you'd come up with that.
"No," I lied, staring at him with my eyes furrowed a bit. Get on to another topic.
Jonghyun wasn't going to let it slide so easily. He tilted his head to the side. His bangs slightly moved to the left. "I think you were staring at me."
"You know, not everything is about you," I snapped.
"But in this case it is. You were staring right at me, and I'm guessing I was the one you were thinking about," Jonghyun declared.
I scoffed. "I was not thinking about you. I was thinking about noses." That was partially truthful.
Jonghyun raised an eyebrow. "Noses," he repeated.
I nodded once. I never stopped staring at him. Neither did he. Jonghyun had a suspicious glint his eye, informing me he didn't truly believe me a hundred percent. Okay, dude, in this relationship we are suppose to trust each other. You do not trust me, and that is not a good sign. This means our friendship is messed up.
Jonghyun clicked his tongue. He leaned back in his chair. He gave me a lopsided grin. "You were admiring my looks, weren't you?" he asked.
I gave out a loud scoff. "No I wasn't," I answered. Admiring? I prefer observing.
Jonghyun raised both his eyebrows, yet he was still smirking. "Tell me, how y am I?" he asked, turning his head to one side.
I slumped my shoulders. "The hairiest is better looking than you," I bluntly stated.
Jonghyun turned his head slowly back to face me, his expression disgusted and offended. A smirk played on his lips momentarily. "You've probably been ed with the hairiest ."
"Yes, that's true. I am not a ."
Jonghyun's eyes widened. "What?!" he exclaimed out loud. He banged his fists against the desk with clearly audible power. "Who the is this hairy guy?" he growled, his teeth clenched together. His face was turning pink to red to scarlet as each second passed by.
I put my hands up in midair. "Chill, I was just joking. I wouldn't even touch the hairiest wiener. God," I sighed.
Jonghyun's reddened face stayed the same. "Why'd the hell did you say something like that? I almost lost control!" he barked. You've already lost control.
"I could have just slapped you and then you would have been fine," I muttered, patting my stomach.
"YOU'RE A STINKING !" he yelled, waving his arms in the air.
I rolled my eyes at him. "Okay, yeah, whatever. Let's just get back to work," I announced, grabbing a hold of the paper on the table.
Jonghyun gave out a small whine. "No, we've done too much work. I want to relax for a bit," Jonghyun told me. Again, he changes character in a snap. God, what is with this guy?
"We can relax after we've fin-"
"No, I want to relax now!"
"My freaking goodness, you're annoying," I muttered through my teeth. He didn't hear me. Jonghyun smiled.
"Let's play Rock, Paper, Scissors to determine whether we relax or not, okay?"
"Look, I don't want to do this right now. Let's just finish the work," I sighed, exhausted from his constant persistent talking. However, that little dumb does it anyway.
"Rock, Paper, Scissors, say shoot! Rock, Paper, Scissors, say shoot!" he said, playing with himself. I gave out a sigh.
"Seriously, let's just go back to work-"
"Rock, Paper, Scissors, say shoot!"
"Really? Are you going with this?"
"Rock, Paper, Scissors, say shoot!"
"You bastard, if you do it one more time-"
"Rock, Paper, Scissors, say shoot!"
"YOU . Fine, I'll play!" I yelled, turning to face him correctly with my hand out in front of me. Jonghyun smirked.
"Rock, Paper Scissors, say shoot!" He drew paper; I drew scissors. Before a second could pass, he quickly changed it to rock. I pointed at his fist.
"You cheated," I pointed out.
He shook his head. "Only sore losers make up excuses," he smirked, getting up from his chair.
I pointed a finger at him and shook it. "Stop lying, I saw you cheat," I said, glaring at him to make him feel uneasy. He did not faze from his smug smirk. He put a hand on my head and put a fairly amount of pressure onto my head.
"Let's go downstairs and watch TV," he voiced. He took his hand off my head before I could whack it away, and walked out the door. I muttered to myself about Jonghyun being a jackass and followed suit. He was already jogging down the stairs when I made it to the top of the stairwell. He was whistling to himself.
I walked down the stairs as well and followed wherever he was heading off to. We both walked into the spacious living room and he plopped himself on the navy blue couch. He grabbed the remote from the small table next to him and turned on the TV. I looked around the unfamiliar room, taking everything in. The walls were plain but they were decorated with portraits of nature and family. Jonghyun was in most of them. You know, I'm having second thoughts on Jonghyun. He's a camera as well. It's nice to learn new information day by day.
There was a picture on my left, two adults smiling at the camera, preferably his parents. I stared at the picture intently. So that's what his dad looks like.
There was another picture next to it, but it was one of a young girl and boy. They were on green grass, smiling at the sun. The boy was unmistakably Jonghyun, for I could tell his nostrils were the same. It didn't take a scientist to figure out the girl was from the hallway picture. She had her arms in the air as she lay across the grass.
"Are you going to sit down or...?" Jonghyun's voice made me turn around to face him. He was staring at me with an eyebrow raised.
I pointed at the picture I was recently looking at. "Who's she?" I asked, referring to the young girl next to Jonghyun. Maybe I as well ought to ask him now; I might never get a chance in the future. He strained his neck to get a better look at the photo. He squinted slightly until his eyes relaxed.
"Oh, that's my younger sister. Her name's Song Dam," he responded, nodding once.
I stared back at the picture and stared attentively. I observed the features of the girl that I could make out. She didn't resemble Jonghyun in any way, but did have that vague similarity to his odd face.
"She's cute," I replied, cocking my head to the side at the picture.
"Yeah, she is."
"You guys close?" I asked, turning my head around to look at him. He was staring at me as well. He looked up to the ceiling, then at the floor. He shrugged.
"We were," he answered, leaning back on the couch. He played with his fingers for a moment.
I took a step forward towards the couch. "What happened?" I asked.
Jonghyun shrugged. "I don't know, she just decided to change one day. She was my little aeygo princess but she vanished before I could do anything. Now she either ignores me or makes fun of me. I try and ask her what I did wrong, but she would never answer. I gave up soon after," he sighed, running a hand through his hair.
I had already taken a seat while he was talking. I had taken the corner of the couch. "I feel bad for you," I said.
"Why?" he asked.
"She makes fun of you. I didn't know I wasn't the only one," I answered, the corners of my mouth turned slightly upright.
Jonghyun gave out a laugh as his shoulders bobbed up and down. "I'm taking that as an apology for teasing me throughout all these months," he stated, chuckling.
"Do whatever you want; I'm still going to taunt you," I announced, shrugging.
Jonghyun shook his head at me while he gave me a disappointed stare. "Well, how's your life nowadays?" he asked all of a sudden.
I raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"
"How's your dad?" he asked.
"I guess he's doing fine," I replied rather quietly. Jonghyun's face softened and he nodded, showing that he understood.
"And... your mom?"
"We don't talk to each other."
"What? Why not?"
"We had a fight on the day I had gotten drunk. Since then we haven't made eye contact," I explained, looking down to the floor. There was a slightly awkward quietude in the room. I remained staring at the floor. It had the rich reddish-brown color of mahogany.
"I feel bad for you," Jonghyun said, breaking the silence in the room. I turned my head towards him and furrowed my eyebrows.
"Why?"
Jonghyun shrugged. "I have a feeling of pity inside me for you. Don't ask why." I blinked once at him, but I soon smiled.
"Okay."
We began to watch TV after. Jonghyun flipped to a channel that showed this drama called "City Hunter". It was a rerun of the first episode. Lee Minho was running away from a couple of thugs with a strange balding man. We watched the show for a few silent minutes, the quiet atmosphere unnaturally comfortable in the living room.
I watched Lee Minho get slapped by his 'father' for doing something he wasn't suppose to do. The balding man made food for Lee Minho and his 'father'. The image of food on the screen got my stomach aching for a bite. A fuzzy feeling in my throat emerged shortly after. I shifted in my seat, almost unable to control the ravenous sense. I must have been pretty obvious.
"You want something to eat?" Jonghyun asked.
"Yes," I answered quickly, not bothering to question my sudden desperate reply for food.
Jonghyun's chuckled for a bit. "I'll bring back a snack for you," he said, getting up from the couch.
As he was walking past me, I said, "I appreciate your courteous behavior." He rolled his eyes at me. Now the courteous behavior is fading.
I waited for a few minutes as he got my snack ready. I watched more of "City Hunter" and watched a commercial that had to do with shampoo. They said it smelled like strawberries. Strawberries remind me of ones on cake. Cake reminds me of tender, fluffy sweetness and frosting. Sweetness reminds me of honey. Honey reminds me of pancakes. Pancakes remind me of butter. Butter reminds me of baked potatoes. Potatoes remind me of French fries. I want French fries.
Before I could drool over the fried substance of potatoes, Jonghyun comes in with a plate that I see is filled with goodies. As soon as he sets it on my lap, I dig in, eating whatever I could grab. It tasted sweet, slightly tangy, but nonetheless sweet. It was smooth yet crunchy. They aren't French fries.
I stopped digging into the things I was eating and set them back on the plate. I took a good look at the plate before realizing that it was something nutritious. I turned my head towards Jonghyun. "What the heck is this?" I asked with my mouth full of the goddamn healthy stuff.
Jonghyun furrowed his eyes. "Apples...?"
"Apples? Apples? Why apples?" I asked, a piece of the so-called apple landing on my plate. Jonghyun stared at the fallen piece and then looked back at me.
"I thought you'd like them...?" he tried, raising an eyebrow.
"I want something fried," I stated, folding my arms.
"Nuh-uh. I actually cut this for you. And I never cut things anymore ever since that day," Jonghyun shuddered to the thought. I remembered the day as well; he had cut his finger because he couldn't cut kimchi. Another dastardly event came out on that day; the day Hea Won decided to end up in the hospital. The thought still churns my stomach to this day.
"Make me something else then," I said.
"I got you apples."
"I don't want your stinking apples."
"If you don't appreciate my generosity, I won't bother making you anything at all."
"Well, ing fine then. I'll go make something myself," I spat, standing up from the couch and heading towards the kitchen.
"Swallow my stinking apples in your mouth first!" Jonghyun called out. I grumbled under my breath, finished the apples in my mouth, and began searching the kitchen cabinets for something to make.
Apples would have been okay to eat. They would have, but I wanted to savor something greasy or salty or fried. They all lead up to the same thing Onew has always been eating and obsessing about. I searched the lower cabinets first, seeing that I was too short to reach the higher ones. The higher cabinets were just a few inches away- I don't seem to understand as to why my hand fails to touch them.
I opened all the cabinets I could reach but to no avail; there was nothing that I craved for. It was all healthy junk. I needed some carbohydrates in my system, not whole grain, gluten-free, low sodium, low fat, et cetera. They don't make food taste freaking amazing like they should. These ingredients should be banned for women everywhere. Let's see how the anorexics like that. You mad that you fat now, ?
After checking the cabinets, I went for the refrigerator. Sadly there was nothing in there. Even the milk was low fat. This nourishing crap was getting me irritated. After checking every single thing-besides the damn cabinets that were too high for me to reach-I put my head in my hands and groaned out loud in hunger and defeat. My stomach growled along with me.
"Couldn't find anything, huh?"
"Shut up," I muttered, taking my hands off my face. I heard Jonghyun chuckle behind me.
"My mom's going healthy for the month. She cut off all ties with anything fattening. She does it to keep us in shape," Jonghyun explained one of the wrongdoings any Park Mi Young would about. I turned around to face him. He was reclining against the doorway with his arms folded.
"How can you live like this? I can die in this environment!" I almost wailed, waving my hands in the air.
"I've been living like this for my whole life. You get used to it," Jonghyun shrugged nonchalantly.
"That's hell."
"That's being healthy," Jonghyun pointed out.
I rolled my eyes. "Is that why you're only bones and blood?" I asked, referring to his thin body.
"Is that why you're full of fat?" he snapped, referring to my body. He was trying to retort, yet both he and I know I wasn't really flabby. Okay, maybe I do have some flab on my arms, but I don't work out. I'm a lazy , what do you expect from one?
"At least I can protect myself with warmth in the wintertime," I sniffed, folding my arms.
"I don't need to go out in the summer," Jonghyun said angrily.
"What does that mean?" I asked.
"I don't know. I had to say something," Jonghyun admitted, his anger slightly faltering.
I scoffed as I rolled my eyes. "Wow, you lack intelligence, common sense,and comebacks? They're all the elements of stupidity. Have you realized that?" I asked, tilting my head to the side.
Jonghyun glowered at me. "You irregular mutant; what do you know? You lack the needs of a girl," Jonghyun muttered.
"You're an awkward thing," I replied to his remark.
"A thing? I'm athing? When have I downgraded to that?" Jonghyun asked in disbelief.
I raised an eyebrow. "You want me to answer that?" I asked monotonously.
Jonghyun slightly parted his lips, offended. "You're a real ," he almost whispered.
"You're repulsive in appearance," I shot back.
Jonghyun threw his head back and gave out a breathless laugh. "You don't mean that," he said, shaking his head slightly. I wrinkled my eyebrows. This was an unfamiliar comment compared to the ones we've been snapping at each other for months.
"Excuse me?" I asked; I probably heard wrong. Jonghyun looked at me, a hint of a smirk on his face.
"You don't mean that," he repeated, slower this time and quite clear for me to apprehend.
I made a face. "Why wouldn't I mean it? I've always thought you were unattractive," I asked, completely convinced he was ugly. He was, wasn't he? Wasn't he? I've never doubted it before. Why do I doubt it now? Wait, no-what am I saying?
Jonghyun took a few steps forward and a smirk tugged at his lips. "You're lying," he claimed, walking closer towards me. I took a few steps back.
"I'd never lie about this," I told him.
"You're lying about that too. You think differently of me," Jonghyun stated, decreasing the distance between us as he took his time ambling towards me. I walked two steps back. I wasn't really getting what he was talking about. I don't think differently of him. Do I? Was he talking about looks or his whole self? Am I puzzling myself?
"What do you mean?" I asked, not able to cover up the confusion buzzing in my perplexed mind. Jonghyun ambled further on.
"What I mean is...you think I'm hot. You know deep down inside that I'm handsome," Jonghyun smiled almost teasingly. He was just a few feet away. I walked a few steps back, but was met by a sudden pang on my spine. I gave a quick glance where I was leaning on: the kitchen island. I looked back at Jonghyun to see if I could make my way out of this; however, he was already too near to move away. Even if I did, he'd grab me.
Jonghyun finally reached me and stared down at me with a twinkle in his eye. "You think I'm attractive, don't you?" he asked, softly tracing the outline of my cheekbone. The touch felt ticklish under my skin. I twitched to the contact. He tilted his head to one side. "Aren't I good looking?" he said quietly, his finger falling down to my chin. His finger tapped against the flesh of my chin, causing my shoulders to tense slightly.
His finger kept tapping my chin several times. "Am I not y to you?" he whispered in my ear, his hot breath hitting the nape of my neck. I held onto the rim of the kitchen island, my nails clenching onto the hard surface.
Jonghyun stopped tapping on my chin. I questioned his sudden halt so I looked up at him. I found him staring back at me, a solemn expression gazing down at me. And before I could remember why I don't look directly into his eyes, I found myself lost in those pitiful brown orbs. An uncomfortable feeling came back to my stomach; the same feeling I had to endure whenever I looked directly into his damn eyes. I felt my mouth open slightly as I tried to get myself out of the trance his eyes were holding me in.
He wasn't in any better shape; he was staring back at me with a more defined stare. I could tell he was taking contact with a very strong ual desire, for he had the hungry glare of a predator. It was either lust or he was cannibalistic.
He suddenly leaned towards me, his body pressing against mine. It created a shiver down my spine. The sudden contact with his body made my own body jump for a second. I gave out a gasp of surprise; not knowing it would come to this. I took my hands off the island to push Jonghyun back, but he grasped my hands with his own. His hold was rather sturdy, which again, surprised me. If I try to move my hands, he wouldn't let them.
I looked back into his eyes to see what he was expressing in his orbs now. Pure lust and passion were clearly written out on his face. He had his lips enough times for me to prove my theorem. Huh, theorems bring me back to freshman year.
Jonghyun's torso relaxed against my own torso, his body seeming snug with mine. I had no idea on how to get out of his tough grasp. This wasn't Jonghyun anymore; it was a ual predator. He was absolutely immersed in the physical condition we were in now. Not to mention it was warm between us, and the weather outside was just as temperate.
Slowly, Jonghyun entwined his fingers with mine as he stared at me. The feeling of pity was getting stronger; I had no idea why compassion was colliding with this. Both his and my arms began to drop to our sides (they were still interlaced together). It's compelling to kick his balls.
He began to lean his face in forward, coming straight for my lips. He was looking at them; I'm certain he's going for my lips. Before his lips could land on mine, I bonked his head with my forehead. Jonghyun's head jerked away from my forehead as he shut his eyes. He opened them after a moment and blinked twice. A small frown creased his forehead. "Huh?" he asked absentmindedly.
"Are you back to normal?" I asked slowly, looking intently at him.
"What does that mean?" he asked, his confusion clearly visible.
"Look at me and you." Jonghyun looked at me, then at himself, then at our entwined hands. His eyes widened and he suddenly let go, the cold air suddenly replacing the warmth. He backed away a few spaces, his lower lip trembling.
"S-sorry. I don't know w-what got into me," he stuttered, a blush creeping over his face. He clapped his hands over his face because he knew I could see the scarlet color on his face.
I sighed. "No, it's okay. You were completely lost in your own world, I understand. Let's just get back to work now. I think this was enough time for a break," I declared, passing him to get to the stairs. He stayed quiet as he followed me up the stairwell. We both made it to his bedroom door, the distance between us awfully long and the silence was uncomfortable.
"You should turn off the TV," I informed him, hearing the faint sound downstairs. Jonghyun nodded quickly and went away from the door, leaving me alone to myself. As soon as he left, I gave out a huge sigh of relief. I had felt several feelings when he was lost in his lusty trance. There was surprise, anger, confusion, embarrassment, and compassion. I was taking part in all those feelings at the same time, forcing me to just let him do whatever the hell he wanted. That's what I thought-that I let him go on for a long time because I didn't know what to do to stop him.
It didn't explain the empty feeling I had when he suddenly let go of my hands. I stared at my hands, the once warm hands that were now cold; however, they weren't cold because of the air around me. There was a slightly wet touch in the center of my palm. I came to conclusion that it was none other than sweat.
I stared at the hand for second or two, trying to come up with the reason as to why this happened. But stupid me did not realize the reason at firsthand. I just thought it was because my hands had been too enveloped with Jonghyun's.
~
The next day at school was an average day. It wasn't too bad, yet it wasn't that fun. Yanna and Key have been more and more into their fights that they forget everything around them. Minho is always included in their fights; even when he's good, he gets sucked into their useless arguing. Onew and Taemin eat food. A lot. They're always eating, I don't know why. They always bring the food topic up. I guess this is the real Taemin without a noona to be obsessed about. This Taemin is pretty decent, actually. However, whenever I come to school Taemin will always greet me with the perky "Noona~!" and would always put on an act for me. It's nice to know some things don't change.
Jonghyun has been slightly awkward with me for a few hours of the school day. He wasn't over that 'lust-taking-control-over-me' episode. I guess he was worrying if I was out to get him, which shouldn't really be anything to worry about since I hadn't killed him yesterday. I question my actions as well. As time went by, Jonghyun slowly perceived the message I wasn't going to rip out his balls. He insulted me once in science while hiding behind a book so I wouldn't hit him, and I didn't. It was then he realized I wasn't going to do anything at all.
Classes were boring; I don't understand the meaning of classes when there was only about a month left of school. Yearbook pictures were taken; people who were destined to be something in the future also had their pictures taken (it's a surprise people voted me as 'Most Likely to be Successful'). Hey, they could be right. Key was voted as 'Most Fashionable'; I couldn't agree more. Minho was voted as 'Most Athletic'. Onew got 'Class Clown'. I didn't know people found Onew funny....
I don't think Jonghyun got a vote for anything. There wasn't one for 'The Biggest Player in the School'. Well, he used to be the biggest player. The memories were crystal clear in my brain to this day. All those groans and moans from the janitor's closet, that trademark smirk he'd use on girls so he could get into their pants, everything. It amazes me how he's not the most popular kid in school. He was only known as the guy who knew how to get girls laid. Some things won't be explanatory.
The day went by quickly. The days were shorter when school was on its way to summer vacation. When last period ended, I found my noisy group of friends off somewhere in the corner of the school, being retarded and not being mindful about the other kids around them. Friends; they're an ingredient for surviving life. Without a friend it's just...lonely. Yeah, that's right, lonely. It's lonely being in this world without a shoulder to lean on. You feel isolated and so unloved by everyone. It's an awful feeling.
My retarded group of friends and I began to walk towards the exit out of school. I was in between Onew and Jonghyun, who-believe it or not-were the only quiet ones from the group. I was always quiet. Onew's excuse for not being Onew is because he hadn't had any food today. Without it, he's just as cranky as a girl on her period. Or, at least, that what he likes to call it. Jonghyun just poked my head and called me a . He was getting more confident each time he remembered I wasn't mad at him. He was acting like the derp he was; that was all I needed so there would be no awkwardness between us.
"What was the science homework Professor Cheung gave us today?" Jonghyun asked Onew. Onew lazily threw his head towards Jonghyun's direction.
"Something," he replied sadly. He hung his head down and kept on walking. So he was in the sad phase of his 'no food period'. Jonghyun turned his head to me.
"I'm sure you have the answer to it," he said.
"The worksheet he gave in class today, all questions except the short response one on the back," I responded, rolling my eyes after he said 'thanks'. There was a silence between both of us now. Key and the others were noisy, and Onew was off sulking, so that just left both of us in a normal state. I stared at the floor as we walked, not bothering to look at Jonghyun. He might go back into his trance again and attack me with his .
Jonghyun suddenly cleared his throat after a few moments of peace. "About yesterday... I just wanted to say again, I'm sorry," he mumbled, kicking the floor.
"Apology accepted. Again," I replied.
"No really, I don't know why I did that... I was too, um, caught up in, uh, the moment."
"I could tell you were," I said, nodding my head up and down slowly. Jonghyun smiled with embarrassment lingering in his expression, his cheeks slightly pink.
"Again, I'm sorry."
"It's okay, you don't have to say it over and over again. I understand," I sighed.
"But I don't seem to understand why you're not pissed off at me. Usually you'd beat the crap out of me if I did anything remotely similar to that," Jonghyun pointed out, squinting his eyes a bit.
I shrugged. "You weren't yourself, that's why I let you off easily," I explained.
"But you wouldn't have done that even if I weren't myself," Jonghyun made a point there, furrowing his eyebrows.
I sighed in exasperation. "It's as if you want me to beat you."
"No, no! I just am curious, that's all."
"Oh really?"
"Yes, really."
"Well, truth be told, I have no idea either," I admitted, shrugging. Jonghyun raised his eyebrows.
"Oh, so-"
"MI YOUNG UNNIE!"
I turned my head towards the source. "Huh? OOF-" I instantly stumbled back a few steps, struggling to get the pressure back on my feet. They felt like jelly. My arms were squeezed together in some sort of squeezing machine, and I barely could breathe. The squeezing machine crushed me more.
"Unnie, I finally found you again!"
I frowned. Unnie? No one has ever called me unnie ever since that girl....
"Haneul?" I asked the odd girl squeezing me. The girl looked up from the intense squeeze she was giving me and showed a bright smile. She had gotten her hair curled, lost some weight, and she still looks annoying as before. Sheis annoying as before.
"Unnie remembers me, yay!" she giggled, hugging me once again.
"YAH, WHAT IS SHE DOING HERE?!" Key's loud voice rang in my ears unpleasantly. Haneul looked over my shoulder and smiled at Key.
"Key oppa remembers me too~!" Haneul giggled, waving at him. She stopped for a second and them smiled again. "Hi, Taemin-ah~!"
"SHUT UP, UGLY NOONA."
"I'm the same age as you, yet you still call me noona," Haneul pouted in disappointment.
"SHUT UP, UGLY GIRL."
Haneul clapped her hands. "That's better!" she chirped in approval. She waved again. "Hi, Minho oppa and girl I don't know but will become friends with later!" They said hi back.
I frowned at her again. She seemed to have noticed, for she stopped smiling. She turned to me. "Yes, unnie? What's wrong?" she asked worriedly.
I raised an eyebrow. "What... are you doing here after all this time?" I asked.
Haneul sighed longingly. "Okay, well, it's a boring story. My father informed me that we were moving away from Seoul to go to Daegu, and I said I didn't want to go, but unfortunately I had to go. So I went without telling you guys because it was a school day and we were leaving so soon. I begged my dad to let me say goodbye but he didn't listen and I was so mad! We stayed there for a few months, it was really boring and I almost died. BUT, a miracle came along and my dad got transferred back to his old job in Seoul, and now here I am with you guys forever~!" Haneul squeezed me once again. I pushed her away when I was on my last breath before turning blue in the face.
"That's just great news," Onew muttered, stomping the floor. I was confused whether he was really mad she was back, or if it was a phase of his period mode. Haneul did not see anything wrong with Onew and smiled at him. Suddenly her eyes furrowed.
"Where's Jonghyun oppa...?" she asked no one in particular. My eyes traveled towards the exit, which was where Jonghyun was near by. He was reaching for the knob until Haneul followed my gaze and squealed.
"JONGHYUN OPPA~!" Haneul ran full speed towards Jonghyun, who was immediately notified he was going to be squeezed to death in a few seconds. He fumbled with the doorknob, nervousness traveling up his spine. When he finally got it open, he ran out the door. Haneul ran after him but didn't go that far-it looks like he didn't have much time to run. I heard yelling, screaming, and the occasional cussing- all courtesy of Jonghyun. Haneul had already gotten him in her hold as she squeezed the living daylights out of him. His eyes bulged out of his sockets as he was squeezed.
"JONGHYUN OPPA! How I missed you so! Did you miss me, oppa? Aw, of course you did!" Haneul swung Jonghyun around. I made a face at how strong she was, and she got even stronger, which isn't a good thing for Jonghyun. Or me. She compressed Jonghyun with her arms and his face became the light shade of blue.
"Let...go...of...me," Jonghyun gasped, trying to push Haneul off him. Haneul did not budge.
"Oppa, saranghae~!"
"I...don't...like...dying..."
"Oppa, do you love me back?" Haneul asked.
"No..." Jonghyun gasped for another breath. He looked at me but then looked at the floor. "Let go, Haneul," he choked. Haneul pouted as she let him go. He stumbled on his feet and put a hand on his chest. His face returned to his natural color. He walked away from Haneul and went to Key for support.
Haneul folded her arms. "Why doesn't oppa love me?" she sniffed.
"He never did," I answered for her.
Haneul kicked the air. "Phooey," she spat, pouting angrily. I shrugged. Haneul sighed. "Did you miss me, unnie?" she asked hopefully, her eyes big and full of innocence.
"I forgot about you," I answered truthfully.
Haneul pouted. "They always forget me," she grumbled, folding her arms. She looked up at me. "Where's Hea Won unnie?" she asked. I didn't answer her at first, for the intestines in my stomach pressed against each other uncomfortably. I stared at her, my eyes probably storming at the sound of Hea Won's name.
"She's dead," I said, the words laced with hurt and venom at the same time.
Haneul's perky expression suddenly decreased and she looked at me with sympathy. "I'm sorry, unnie," she whispered. She didn't ask about anything; she just left it at that. Between us two, it was silent yet the atmosphere was deafening for me. I needed someone to talk so I could forget about this right now.
Thankfully Haneul steps up again and speaks. "No worries, I will stand up for you now. If you have a problem, come to me! I'm amazingly great with boy advice. I mean, everyone at my other school came to me and asked me about what to do with this boy or something like that. And it always works out! It's ironic because I can never get my hands on Jonghyun oppa..." Haneul trailed off, thinking hard about why she couldn't get Jonghyun.
I smiled. "I appreciate your offer," I thanked her, patting her head. Haneul jumped up to my touch in happiness.
"Okay, can we go home now? I don't know how the hell that twerp came in the school, but let's leave," Key sighed, giving Haneul a dirty look. They still weren't over on the 'Who's best friends with me' thing. Haneul had no problem with him holding a grudge. She just smiled at him.
"Okay, Key oppa! I'll be coming with you~"
"Key hyung is mine, don't call him 'oppa'!" Taemin made a face at Haneul and dragged Key away before Haneul could get them.
"Taemin, now she'll think we're gay."
"Let her think what she wants. First Jonghyun hyung, then Mi Young noona, and now she wants you? She's a w-h-o-r-e," Taemin spelled it out. Key widened his eyes. He smacked Taemin's head.
"Yah, you're not supposed to be using such language like that!" he spat. Taemin pouted angrily at him.
"Damn damn damn!" he yelled at Key before running away. Key ran after him, telling him to stop because he doesn't like to sweat. Onew gave out a groan.
"Let's ing go home already," he muttered, dragging his feet towards the exit.
"Hyung, take me with you," Jonghyun ran over to Onew and hung onto his arm, glancing behind his shoulder to see if Haneul was going to attack anytime soon. Haneul grinned from ear to ear, showing off her pearly whites.
"OPPA, TAKE ME WITH YOU WITH OTHER OPPA!" She flung herself towards them, though Jonghyun and Onew were a bit quicker. Jonghyun began to drag sulky Onew off outside, encouraging Onew to go on so Haneul's arms wouldn't ambush them.
"Come on, hyung, please. She's gaining on us," I heard Jonghyun plead as they were by the door.
Onew's head rolled around once. "I'm not in the mood," he murmured grumpily.
"I'll buy you chicken if we get out of here."
", HANEUL." Onew took a hold of Jonghyun's arm and began racing off into the sunset, Haneul trailing behind them. I gave out a loud sigh. How these people have so much energy, I will never know. I looked back at Minho and Yanna, the only ones who weren't in this predicament.
Yanna wrinkled her eyebrows. "Who was that odd girl?" she asked, slightly curious.
"Haneul. You'll be seeing a lot of her nowadays. You could say she's part of us now," I replied.
"A friend of yours?"
"Eh."
"I see."
Minho cleared his throat. "Hey, want to join us at Yanna's place today? She's been dying for you to come over ever since the first day she was here," Minho explained, rolling his eyes. Yanna smacked him on the head.
"You make me sound like some kind of desperate loner!" she snapped, hitting him harder.
"Okay, I'll stop!" Minho said, covering his head with both his hands. Yanna drew her hand back and smiled.
"You can tame your boyfriend? Nice," I muttered, admiring the work Yanna has demonstrated. She smiled, pleased with the compliment.
All three of us began walking, talking and having a comfortable atmosphere around us. I let Minho and Yanna go in their own world while I thought about what Haneul had said back at school.
I didn't need anyone to take Hea Won's place. No one could ever replace Hea Won. She would always still be in the same position she was in for eleven years in my life. And the years would be counting. There will be other people in my life- that I am aware of- but no one would ever be as important as Hea Won was to me. She's a permanent part of me, my best friend, and will always continue in that position. A friend like that comes once in a lifetime, and her life span has gone. It's best to cherish them because you honestly do not know what you have until you lose it.
Wherever Hea Won is now, I'm sure she's doing great. Being the best friend she is, she's probably enjoying whatever I'm saying right now about her. And with that, I smile to the clear blue sky and I wait for her to notice this smile.
In response to my small act, the sun's rays of light illuminated the path I was walking on and it continued like that until I made it to Yanna's comfortable home.