He Started It by Hitting on Me

Up on the Ladder

I circled my finger on the wood of my desk, utterly bored at home. I left school a few hours ago and with no homework distributed by the teachers, I was left with nothing to do.
Nothing.
I think that's going to make a nice place in my vocabulary.
I exhaled loudly and bored my eyes into the lumber, observing the lines on the desk. Knocking my knees together, I stared out the window all the way to my left on the other side of the wall. Evening had already fallen, the dark indigo color complementing the tiniest glitters of stars splattered over the vast sky. I could count them but then I'd be wasting time. What does it matter anyway, when I have absolutely nothing to do? There certainly wasn't an exception in preparing for what every other senior was going to today.
Prom. The event where you can dress up all fancy, snatch a date, and dance the night away without a single care in the world. I could already picture the girls complaining about which eye shadow goes with the color of their dress, or if their hair was styled perfectly. Many guys had probably tried on different tuxedos, getting irritated with all the clothing, but finally settled for the one that suited them best. They take a ride to the place where the prom is held and enter the glorious room as if they were the center of attention and that this was their night and it was going to be amazing no matter what. Then they find booze and grind each other up in the once-clean bathrooms, either causing pregnancy or remorse. Ah, high school-how can I laugh without you?
Almost everyone was going. It would be a shame to not include Key in these festivities. He had his tux picked out months before prom, and had altered it to make it seem like, well, him. I wasn't able to see it, but Key promised me he would take pictures and show me the tux itself after prom was over and done with. Onew had to go, since Key was practically threatening his life. Minho and Yanna were already going to go, no thanks to Key's demands.
I was one of the victims Key was forcing to go, but somehow I persuaded him that I didn't need to. Jonghyun didn't feel like going either, which surprised me a bit. I had always thought Jonghyun was one of those outgoing party-types. It turned out that since I wasn't going, there was no point for him attending either. Truth be told, I felt rather warm by his statement.
So after all the arguing and convincing, Key gave up and told me I was forever a "party-pooper". And here she was now, the alleged "party-pooper", in her bedroom, painfully dying of ennui.
Whatever. It was better than being at prom. I really wasn't fond of those things. I didn't go to my elementary school's dance, and not even to the middle school one. I wasn't planning on going to high school's time-consuming prom. I didn't even like to dance.
I traced the outline of the dark lines on the desk, comparing it to the color of the sky outside. I didn't even bother turning on the lights in my room. Suddenly my stomach turned over, growling rather loudly. I looked down to it. What can I feed you? I thought.
There was nothing for a response. I shrugged. Sandwich, then. I got up from the chair and exited out of my room, jogging down the stairs. As I did, I wondered what there was to eat. There wasn't much in the house, so I had to make something up quick; I was too lazy to make anything big. The more I thought about it, the more I was in need of something else-not a sandwich, but a good helping of meaty meat. Yeah, that's right, meat. I would like that.
I entered the kitchen with my eyes on the white-tiled floor as my feet moved towards the refrigerator. There it was: my savior for my barking stomach. I pulled the handle and looked inside to see what there was to eat. Leftovers and drinks, that was all there was. Seeing that my appetite was not going to be fulfilled, I hesitantly grabbed a fruit juice packet and closed the refrigerator door. I kept the juice packet secured in my hand was about to turn around when my head glanced in the direction in front of me. There I saw my own mother, her intent gaze fixated on me.
I was genuinely surprised at first. It has been a while that I have ever seen her here at home, let alone the kitchen. I knew my shock was shown to her, but for only a second or so. I covered it up with calm, expressionless facade. She didn't seem to mind.
Our gazes were locked between us. She didn't look anywhere else but me this time, and this was unlike all the other times where she would avoid me. No matter how uncomfortable or unnerving it was for me to keep staring at her cold eyes, I stared right into them, forcing myself to stay in this position until she looked away.
But that would be hard to hope for, since she was just as stubborn as I was.
The cold temperature of the juice in my hand made the warmth around the other parts of my body irrelevant. I took in a silent deep breath, counting backwards from one hundred to prevent myself from losing to her steady regard. 100, 99, 98, 97, 96...
She was still in her work clothes. Her business skirt and blouse made her seem professional; as if she knew what she was doing and that she would definitely hold some kind of power sooner or later. Why I found it ironic, no one would ever know. 92, 91, 90, 89, 88, 87...
"...You're home," she said to me. Those were the first words she had ever uttered to me in more than a month. I wasn't expecting her to talk to me. Really, I wasn't. I thought she would stare at me for as long as she dared while I counted, pleading quietly she would get over with this.
I blinked. Was I supposed to say something in reply? Say something- don't look stupid! "You're home early as well," I replied, my voice unexpectedly steady. 84, 83, 82, 81...
"I was off earlier today. They let me take a break," she explained.
"How long?" I wasn't trying to sound curious, as if to see how long I would be with her for the next few days. 79, 78, 77, 76, 75, 74...
I guess she was thinking this, for she didn't answer me too quickly. Instead she stared at me and I could have sworn I felt those eyes digging for the truth buried deep inside my soul. 70, 69, 68, 67, 66..."Four days," she answered blankly.
I nodded. I had the urge to look down at the floor and just stare at that for as long as I could. But I knew that if I did, I would be forfeiting against her. My eyes stayed on her. 61, 60, 59, 58, 57, 56, 55, 54...
"Have... have you been doing fine?" she cleared her throat.
"Yes, I have," I responded.
"That's...good to hear from you." I would be lying if I said I hadn't heard the genuine relief in her voice.
"Right, well...things have gotten better," I mentioned.
She didn't answer me at first. The only thing that spoke were her eyes, but even they didn't say much. 46, 45, 44, 43, 42, 41... "Is that so?" It sounded more like a statement than a question being asked. I nodded silently. 37, 36, 35, 34... "I see."
The lack of any insults or sneers drove me to be more concentrated on her. I could make out the dark circles under her eyes. Those creases on her forehead. Her messy bun that's always in a tight, secure hold with her hair band. It was all out of proportion. It wasn't her. I didn't think it was me who caused all this and there was a good possibility I was right. She's been busy at work, so that was mainly the reason why she has been slightly lacking in her appearance. But then again, it was me who had driven her to work more hours. She needed to feed two people, including her own mouth.
Suddenly she looked away, her eyes looking at the sink beside her. "I should get started on dinner, now that I'm home earlier," she stated, turning on the sink. I stared at her longer, the surprise now evident on my face. She looked away. She actually did it before me.
I nodded, flustered. "I'll be in my room," I announced, walking away from the refrigerator. I squeezed the juice packet in my hand, still not on why she had looked away first. What had she done? Was this some kind of thing she wanted me to know?
I contemplated on this thought. But what could she want me to know? There could have been several messages, either relevant or irrelevant. It was my job to figure out which was what. Behind that loss, there was something she needed me to know, something she could never say to my face. I furrowed my brow. What could it be though? What would be something she could never say to me, no matter how embarrassing or wrong it was? She looked away, and that meant that I had won.
I had won. And she let me.
I looked over my shoulder, looking at my mother's back by the kitchen sink. She stood there with the faucet on, silent. I gathered up all the courage I had to speak. "If you want, I can help you make dinner," I suggested.
Her body stayed motionless. Neither a word nor a gesture was directed to me. I waited for any kind of reaction as I bored my eyes into her messy locks on the top of her head. "...It's fine. You can go back doing whatever you were. I can manage on my own," she replied in a somewhat monotonous tone.
I nodded though she couldn't see and walked away. I walked up the stairs, not a single coherent thought in my mind. I went down the hallway and into my room. It was still dark inside, and I wasn't planning turning on the lights. I took a seat on my bed while jabbing a straw in the juice packet. Putting the straw to my lips, I sucked in a mouthful of juice. What my mother had done...I won't be able to tell. I gave out a sigh. Forget it, I thought. Think about it later.
I stared at the floor, continuing my dying-of-boredom routine. The prom people are probably entering upon the place now, either starting to dance or eat. Damn their possibly edible meal. I'm stuck in my bedroom with nothing but a half-empty packet of juice.
I suddenly heard a noise outside somewhere; it sounded like a rustle of the wind or something, though it had more of an edge to it. I glanced towards my opened window for a second but returned back to sucking out the remaining juice. The rustling began again. I gave my window a slightly bewildered look, as if it were the source of the sound. My head turned slowly back to the floor, ignoring the sound once again.
"HEY!" The sudden yell caught me off-guard and I came to a stop with my sucking-on-juice bit. I got off the bed, earning a small creak, and cautiously moved forward towards my window. I peered outside and looked around for source of the scream, only to find a small figure looking up at me. A little taller me; brown hair, dark eyes, and huge nostrils. The boy was otherwise known as Jonghyun.
My mouth was still on the straw even as I stared down at him. "If you're planning on serenading me, I'm telling you now it won't work," I warned him, saving him all the troubles for doing so.
"Relax, I won't embarrass you," Jonghyun reassured me, putting his hands up as if he were to say "I come in peace."
"And loitering around my backyard at night doesn't embarrass me?"
"You should be grateful I didn't bring a megaphone with me."
I rolled my eyes. "Why are you here first of all?" I asked, bringing up the main question.
He shrugged. "You're the first person to come to mind," he admitted, the corners of his lips tugging upright.
"You could have just called."
"Oh. I forgot." I guess Key was right about us being sad for not using communication by technology.
I gnawed on the now flattened straw, feeling the plastic's dents against my tongue. "So, are you just going to stand there? Because I'm not running down to my backyard," I informed him.
"Just jump into my arms and you'll be safe," he guaranteed, opening his arms out in front of him. I snorted and shook my head, rejecting his offer. He put on a little pout and unintentionally let his eyes glisten in my vision. "Then are we going to yell at each other back and forth?"
"Does it matter? We always yell at each other."
"Be serious for a second!"
I pointed to the left, gesturing to the fence. "There's a ladder all the way on your left, just by the fence," I let him know. His eyes traveled to where I was pointing, and he ran over to where I had said the ladder was placed. In about a minute's time, he came back in my view and was struggling to keep the ladder placed under his arm. I stifled a loud bark from escaping my mouth by biting on the straw harder and pressing my lips tight against each other.
Jonghyun placed the ladder against one side of the house, the top of the ladder meeting my eyes. As he was climbing up the ladder, I had a difficult time containing in the laughter of how awkward this was. What would make it more uncomfortable or hilarious was if Jonghyun heard me and decided to go along with my laughter. The sputtering giggles died out when he was near my window.
"I was never in this type of situation," he panted. The ladder must have been heavy for him to carry.
"There's a first time for everything," I shrugged.
"I'm scared I might fall," he said, looking down to the ground to see how great the impact would be if he were to drop.
I shook my head. "You won't fall," I reassured.
Jonghyun looked up and hoisted an eyebrow. "How can you be so sure?" he asked cautiously.
"You have to make sure you don't lean back far. Just keep your weight by the window," I explained, resting my arms on the window's stool.
A smirk played on Jonghyun's lips, making his appearance look sly in a matter of seconds. "By how you say it, it's like you want me to be closer to you."
"Please don't misunderstand my blunt fact for something so ridiculous," I warned him.
"Does that mean I can't come in?" Jonghyun asked, attempting to rock back and forth on the balls of his feet, but stopped, seeing that it wouldn't end well. I nodded. His wide eyes gaped at me. "But I climbed a ladder for you!" he argued.
"And that justifies what point...?" I asked, cocking my head to one side.
Jonghyun blinked, thinking of something to say back. Leaning his arms on the window and bringing his body closer, he said, "That justifies how much I would go through just to be with you."
It caught me off-guard; I wasn't suspecting that kind of answer at all. It almost seemed unnatural for Jonghyun for saying this kind of thing out loud to me. Jonghyun looked away, his expression suddenly embarrassed. He looked shy in a way. Almost like a little kid.
I opened my mouth to say something, but I couldn't say anything. I had nothing to say. What would I say? Anything remotely romantic would get me thinking what was the reason behind it. What was the reason behind an "I love you", or how many hugs can one couple take? I clamped my lips together and grunted quietly. I placed the deformed straw back in my mouth.
The atmosphere suddenly turned silent. It wasn't really much of an uncomfortable silence; it was just bound to happen. My gnawing had grown, for it tried to bite on every place where it wasn't dented yet. I looked at my empty juice packet, cursing myself for finishing the beverage.
Jonghyun was gazing at the vast midnight blue sky, seemingly not knowing what to say next either. He was just as clueless as I was, or maybe even smarter. For some odd reason, I had an urge to whistle but didn't try to.
There were a few more moments of silence. I sucked in the cool summer air between my teeth and the straw. I was still oh so hungry. Jonghyun turned to face me after a few seconds. "So..." he trailed off, that being the only thing that could have been said from him in the midst of all the silence. I looked up from my straw biting and raised my brow to ask what was up.
He had his mouth ajar as his orbs gazed into mine. By that time, silence was once again brought up. Except that this time, we were looking at each other. I waited for his start-up to get a conversation going, but it never came. It seemed as if though he was caught up in staring at me. For a slight second I thought that maybe I had something on my face.
It didn't take long for me to be caught up in the same situation as him. I didn't know how it happened, when it did, but it was already setting in and the liquid pool of brown (unflattering it may seem, it's actually mesmerizing) was already putting me at ease. That was the thing with his eyes. You look into them and you feel this sensation, this need, that can't really be explained or had an explanation.
My eyes wandered down to his lips, those plump, pink lips that were really making an effect on me, it wasn't even funny. I wouldn't even think of his lips before. Why were they being noticed now? Goddamn, why did those lips have to be so damn enticing?
It didn't take much longer until one of Jonghyun's hands touched my cheek gingerly as he brought himself closer to me. I didn't push him away. He didn't hesitate to press his lips against mine. I didn't pull back.
His lips were chapped to a slight extent, but they were smooth in the fleshy part of them. Just like those other times, his lips were a puzzle to my own. His mouth tickled my mouth and I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not, but I had an urge to laugh because of the sensation. I kept it in, though, so Jonghyun's feelings wouldn't be harmed. His lips had a taste of mint this time, whereas the last time we've had a long kiss, his lips tasted like strawberries.
When his lips did touch mine, my heart made an aching leap. The ache was shortly replaced with a ticklish sense, which traveled to my lips that were attached to Jonghyun's mouth. I inhaled the scent of mint quietly, not wanting to disturb Jonghyun. The empty juice packet stayed still in my hand, unharmed.
Our lips moved at a moderate pace, noises being made here and there. I had my attention on Jonghyun's firm lip structure, and every thought was incomprehensible besides that. He didn't seem like he wanted to go any further, rather this chaste kiss was enough for him. However, with me, it was another story. Without knowing what I was doing, I leaned in and felt my lips pushed themselves deeper into Jonghyun's. Maybe it was an instinct, maybe not.
This, though, caused quite a bit of disturbance.
When I had leaned in, Jonghyun's body leaned back and started to lose its balance on the ladder. I had taken myself out of the moment when I heard an urgent grunt from Jonghyun. Intuitively, my hands grabbed a hold of his shoulders and I pulled him in by the window, which caused the ladder to slam almost silently against the house. Jonghyun let out a grunt of pain and looked down to his knees, rubbing one.
"Are you okay?" I asked frantically, scanning over any place he might have hurt. you you you, Mi Young.
"K-kind of," he mumbled, still rubbing a knee.
"Did it hurt?" I asked. It did hurt, you dumbass.
"Kind of."
"Are you bleeding or something?"
He stayed quiet for a moment, judging his knees and checking to see if there was any kind of damage. "Not really," he said, looking back at me. "It was kind of exhilarating."
I stared at him in disbelief. "What the hell are you talking about? You could have died!" I growled.
"But I didn't, so that's all that matters. Besides, you were really worried. Maybe I should come on this ladder more often," Jonghyun grinned proudly, pinching my cheek like an ajumma would do.
I slapped his hand away. "You're so happy about me being worried and your death is like nothing to you?" I spat.
"You were the one who decided to lean in. I could have died because of you," Jonghyun made clear.
Okay. He got me there. "Judging by your actions, I might have been a really good kisser," Jonghyun complimented himself, raising his eyebrows up and down.
I stared at him blankly. "Go home."
"Okay, okay, I had to go home soon anyway," he mumbled. He waved goodbye and started to go down the ladder. I watched him go halfway down the ladder when his head suddenly jumped up. "Oh, I forgot something," he mentioned. He quickly scrambled up the ladder, coming near my window again. He met eye-to-eye contact with me again, but didn't stay for that. He pushed himself forward and placed his lips against mine for a few seconds. I almost jerked my head back by the sudden move, but didn't do much to stop it. When he pulled away, he gave me a boyish smile. "If we went to prom, I would have really liked to see you in a dress."
Before I could have said anything, he climbed back down the ladder steps again, jumping on his feet and steadying himself after. Jonghyun put the ladder in the same spot it was in before and ran for the backdoor.
He went out onto the sidewalk and began walking, not without turning around and waving at me while he walked. I stuck my tongue out at him as he waved. Jonghyun rolled his eyes and turned back around, skipping away into the streetlights. I scoffed and shook my head at his ridiculousness. Idio