He Started It by Hitting on Me

End of the Beginning

I didn't think there was a reason to have a cemetery built on a hill, where you would have to step on steep steps to guide you to your specific destination. It would make people feel exhausted, especially those who were visiting on a scorching day in July. If it weren't for her, I wouldn't have even made up the first ten steps. I wouldn't have even bothered coming here at all.
The upside to this was the available parking in front of the hill, thus making it less painful for Jonghyun to search for an empty spot. Jonghyun and I walked silently up the steps with a few exhausted pants through the way. We hadn't spoken in the car much either. Maybe there hadn't been much appetite in us to open our mouths.
After the last day of school (it was actually a very productive day), we all dreaded this day to come. You'd expect former high school students on their road trip to another city or country. It would have been like that, if it weren't for one absence in our group of friends.
Jonghyun carried the bouquet of peonies, her favorite type of flower. I remembered every year when it was White Day, Key would buy her assorted candy and peonies. Flowers weren't necessary, but Key insisted it was "his style of doing that" and Hea Won would always, no matter how long they've kept up with this routine, squeal over the bright colors Key would get her. It pretty much became ingrained in my mind.
We took a few more grudging steps up the hill until spotting the designated location. We walked over to the tombstone, already covered with flowers. I spotted pink peonies lying in front. Looks like Key made it here before any of us.
There was an overwhelming desire to leave. I'd been slapped by reality more than enough times, and being slapped yet again would do me no justice. Nonetheless, I stayed put even as Jonghyun set the peonies down. I forced myself to look at the tombstone and read what was engraved.

Cho Hea Won
Beloved daughter and friend
1993-2011

We could have been celebrating her birthday the entire day. I would know-Hea Won always had me and Key, sometimes her parents, go to a different place each year for a never-ending day of rainbows and unicorns. My throat thickened slightly, as if to warn me for what was about to happen. I gulped down whatever stiff substance attempted to block my esophagus, and hoped it wouldn't reappear. I blinked repeatedly to prevent any tears from making themselves visible. I wasn't one to cry and I wasn't going to do it now. She was dead. There was nothing I could do. I'd been thinking about this several times before when I would think of her and regret those times I neglected her time of need.
You had to go? I thought bitterly. Couldn't have stayed a little longer? I could have told you the things that have happened. Like how Jonghyun and I are now together-ugh, I know. You're happy, aren't you? I always thought you were a sadist. It's not bad, our relationship. Oh, and you know Taemin's over his little crush on me? Yeah. We've got a few friends joining us too, like Taemin's friend who he claims is "just a friend." Minho has a girlfriend. For a while, actually. I'm guessing he'll never let go of the fact how you and Key always bothered him about being single. A small tug of a smile twitched at the corner of my mouth.
Things have changed a lot, Hea Won. They really have. It's strange really; how secrets get exposed and unexpected twists make their turns in life. Like how you left Key, Hea Won. I haven't seen him today but I'm sure he came around in the morning, early if you want it more specific. He's been doing better but you and I both know how much he misses you. I miss you. It sucks to know the reality of all this, and as much as I'd like to rant about my cynical ways and how you are against them because you're a happy-go-lucky optimistic retard, I'll just end it with a worthless Happy Birthday. That's really all I can do, and I hate it. I hate that you're dead. I completely despise it.
I grimaced. The truth behind your death was revealed. I don't know if you know it or not, but Haneul killed you. Sucks, right? Should've seen that one coming. She's doing her time is jail now, I could care less, but I always have this eerie feeling she'll be back. When she does, though, I'll kick her for you. She has a good arm, but you know. Things change.
My attention quickly averted from my thoughts as I heard distinct noises coming near me. I turned my head sideways to face Jonghyun, whose eyes were already drowning in tears. They ran down his cheeks in a way a waterfall would. His face had already become the color of a dark pink blush as he constantly rubbed with his fists. I couldn't gather words on my tongue at the sight of him crying, so I stayed silent instead. At last I spoke. "Why are you crying?"
He didn't respond right away, for his sobs clearly caught up with him. "It's sad," he sobbed. "It's really sad." He began to cry louder, apparently not being able to hold back. Considering this was the first time I had ever seen him cry. I had always thought he was the arrogant proud guy who watched others cry as a replacement for him. I'd been wrong before.
Transparent liquid constantly fell off his face from his tear ducts. Though I'd seen people cry before, I wasn't so sure as to how to handle Jonghyun's situation. It could be that this was the first time I had ever seen him cry, and thus making me uncomfortable, or maybe the fact that I didn't know how to comfort him. His lower lip trembled, closely resembling a pout, and a tear dropped from his chin. A small part of me somewhat dropped over and died.
My resistance to console him suddenly washed away once my arms engulfed his body, welcoming him into my arms and the warmth I may provide, if I had any warmth at all. I surrounded him awkwardly, not really sure as what to do. He accepted the offer anyways and pressed into my body, sobs being muffled as he did so. He began to cry into my chest as it vibrated against my clothed skin. His wails of sorrow could have been the only sound in the world, one to move the world as if struck by an earthquake. Once I saw him tearing up, there was this odd feeling of overwhelming concern. I didn't want him to burst into tears. It didn't suit him well. During the time he cried, I didn't tell him to quiet down nor did I give him empty sayings of "It's okay" or "It'll be all right." We all knew at some point things will be better, maybe it had, but some things can't change. Death isn't temporary. We knew that. And I guess that came back in Jonghyun's mind.
My hands rubbed his back reassuringly, soothingly. I understood where he was coming from, what he thought of at the moment. I ran a hand through his hair, creating tufts of it to rise, and then I patted it down. Though the day was close to roasting me and Jonghyun's body heat was not helping in any way, I ignored the situation and held him in my arms. "Crying all of a sudden...you baby," I muttered, laughing under my breath.
Jonghyun still hadn't, or couldn't, stop weeping. I didn't speak to him throughout the time he cried. It seemed words didn't have to be said in the moment; I didn't think they had a chance to, with the waterfalls flowing from Jonghyun's eyes. Getting him off my chest I took a good look at his crimson nose and glistening eyes. I wiped a spare tear from his cheek. "I should have brought tissues if I knew this was going to happen," I said, smiling apologetically.
"I have some," Jonghyun sniffed, reaching for his back pocket. He handed me a small packet of tissues with silence. I frowned down at the packet in my hand, looking back up at him for an explanation. "See, I thought maybe you would end up crying, so I brought this just in case. But then I started to cry and looked like an idiotic crybaby, and-" A hiccup escaped his lips, "and now you probably think I'm some kind of loser or something."
For a while I stared at him. I then slowly leaned down and gently placed a kiss on his wet cheek. I came back up, smiling softly down at him. "You were always a loser." I took one neatly folded tissue out of the packet and tenderly dabbed his tear-stained eyes that stared at me in awe. I tipped his head up slightly with one finger, trying to get a better look at him. "We're even now, okay?"
At first he didn't realize what I meant by that. I was referring to the time back when I cried due to the lack of support from my mother and Jonghyun appeared with a tissue ready at hand, just like today. Well, it was used for his tears, but still; the thought counts. Jonghyun's eyes flickered in recognition. "You still remember?" he asked quietly.
"Why wouldn't I? It was the first time I thought you weren't such a bad guy. You were still a bastard though," I added on, cleaning up the transparent snot underneath his nose, chuckling quietly after.
"You were always a ," he muttered, a hiccup rising out of his mouth.
I laughed as I finished wiping his face. "I know." I looked back at the grave, staring blankly ahead. There was a part of me that will never, ever forget this dreadful loss. I wouldn't ever forget my best friend. Wherever she may be now, that was where she was and I couldn't do anything to change it. I would just have to get on with it. Sadly, it was just how life went.
My head turned back to Jonghyun. "Let's go," I announced, gesturing with my head to the way back down. I got up from my kneeling position, dusting off my jeans and reminding myself to find a trashcan to throw out the used tissue. Jonghyun got up on his two feet, giving out another hiccup. I held out my hand between us, waiting. With a warm smile, Jonghyun gladly took the gesture and intertwined our fingers. We took off from Hea Won's tombstone, walking down the hill on the wide steps. "Wait, so how are we going to meet when we're going to different colleges?" I asked.
"We can figure something out. We have the entire summer to think about it," Jonghyun answered, slowly swaying our hands back and forth.
"You never told me you could play the piano," I brought up, remembering he was going to Seoul Institute of the Arts. Onew already told me Jonghyun used to play the piano, but Jonghyun never told me anything. He shrugged self-consciously.
"I didn't think it was such a big deal," he admitted.
"You should have told me. I want to hear you play. It's weird to know Kim Jonghyun actually has a talent and he's good at it," I teased, trying to poke a nerve.
He shot me a look, raising an eyebrow. "You want to hear me play?" he asked, as if he wasn't sure. "I might be kind of rusty."
"It's okay, I don't mind. I just want to see you do something."
He rolled his eyes, though a crooked smile appeared on his crimson face. "," he mumbled. He tugged on my arm to make me walk faster, but soon enough we started to run down the hill. We never toppled over, luckily. It didn't matter if we actually did fall and break our ankles. In the end we'd still be laughing because we were just those kinds of idiots.

The End.

Author's note: I'm just kidding guys xD