An inconvenient attachment

Chapter 47

I hear Lando on the phone with someone. He is standing in the living room. He has been trying to get me out off bed for the last two days, but I don't have the energy. Well, I don't want to. I know he means well, but it really fucking pissed me off. Slowly my bedroom door opens. "I've got you something to drink" Lando says as he walks in. "Thanks" I mumble from under the sheets. "You should eat something" he says. I sigh and don't respond. I hate how I treat him. I sit up in bed and take a bite from the sandwich he made me earlier.

"I called your school to tell them you not coming in for a few days" Lando says. His phone rings again. I know it's his work, they need him in England to do something, I really have no idea what. "You should answer" I say when I throw the blanket off me. Lando looks at me surprised. "What are you doing?"

"Showering" I say as I stand up. "Great, that's great" Lando says, "do you any need help?"

"No."

He turns around and quickly answers his phone. He's probably used to my short answers by now. I'm a dick. I should get myself together, not hold Lando off from work. When he's gone I can lay back down, nobody will notice. I walk to the shower in my underwear. I don't lock the door behind me, Lando hates it. The stitches are in now for a few days, which means I can remove them by now. I grab a scissor and a tweezer and start taking out my stitches. Lando knocks on the door and slowly opens it. "You muppet, let me help you" he says as he takes the scissor and tweezer out of my hand. With precision Lando takes out my stitches. I haven't looked at him properly for the last few days. He looks tired. He has been so kind to me, wanting to take care off me. And I have been an absolute dick. I lay my hand on his face. "I'm sorry" I say. He raises his eyebrows and looks at me. "What for?"

I shrug my shoulders. "Never apologize for things someone else did" Lando says. He softly grabs my chin with his hand, making me look at him. Lando seems to doubt if he's going to kiss me or not. He slowly puts his lips on mine. God, how I missed this, his touch. I didn't realize it until now. "Shower with me" I say. "Please" I continue when I see the look on his face. God I almost could start begging. Lando is uncertain for a moment, but starts to take off his clothes. I step into the small shower, quickly followed by Lando. Silent and still he stands when I move my hands over his shoulders. His eyes studying me. I lower my hand, over his belly and further down. Lando immediately hardens under my touch. "Mia, you don't have to" he says, voice husky.

"I want to."

Before I can blink his lips touch mine. His tongue eager to find mine. His touch is gentle and soft, like he's afraid i'm going to brake. I pull his bottom lip between my teeth, tugging. Lando starts kissing my neck, his mouth moves across my chest, licking and sucking his way down. I grab his head, softly tugging his hair when I roll my bead back. God, he drives me crazy. Slowly his mouth makes it's way up. His lips touching the spot just beneath my ear. I lift one leg and Lando grabs it immediately, knowing what I want. I wrap my arms around his neck. I groan when he also lifts my other leg. Slowly he enters me.

"Fuck" he growls. My eyes roll backwards as he pushes himself even further in me. Lando's jaw is tense, like he's holding back. "I won't break" I say. Slowly he starts to pick up the pace, pushing himself even further in me. I dig my finger nail in his skin, tracing his back. He softly pushes me against he tile wall, my name repeated from his lips. I feel my legs tighten as I come close to my release. "Lando" I moan in his ear. I come around him and feel like I burst in a thousand pieces. Before I get what he's doing Lando quickly pulls out as he comes.

"I love you" Lando says as he presses his lips against mine. I wrap my arms around his neck even tighter. He presses his forehead against mine, catching his breath. Before I realize what I say, it's already out. "I love you too." Fuck. I said it. I can't take it back, nor do I want to, because it's true. I love him with all my heart.

"Don't say 'too'" he says. "Why not?"

"Because it sounds like you're agreeing with me" he says. I smile and roll my eyes. "I love you. Better?"

"Much better," he sounds pleased, "and don't roll your eyes at me."

"Or what?" I tease.

I can feel the heat leaving the water. Which means we have about 5 more minutes left of hot water. Lando takes himself out of me and slowly puts me down. "Are you ok? Didn't I hurt you?" He looks me up and down, like he's looking to see if i'm still intact.

I shake my head and go with my hand through his hair. "No, you didn't" I say as I grab some soap and turn up the heat. "Thanks" I add. Lando sighs deep.

"What?"

"Don't thank me after fucking you, it makes me feel cheap" he says. I laugh. It has been long since I laughed. Lando notices too. Lando grabs the cloth and soap from my hands and starts to softly wash my body, being extra careful around my bruises. I don't want to leave this feeling. If I could, I would stay here forever.

When we are all clean and dried off, we cuddle up on the couch. Yesterday I was in bed for the whole day. Today I even showered, progress. I'm just afraid that when Lando leaves, everything will crumble down beneath my feet. I lay my head on his chest. Constantly reminding myself that i'm safe. Noah isn't here. He can't hurt you. Yet.

I want to thank Lando. For being there for me, tell him that I love him, thank him for bringing me out of the darkness these past few days. But I don't. Not because I can't find the words. But because I don't want to give him hope. Knowing that I can't do this for much longer. Knowing that i'll break his heart, and mine. Knowing that if I stay, Noah will find us again. But I don't know if I can give this up. God knows what Noah might do if I stay. I sure as hell don't want to find out.