Many Miles Apart

5. Zoe

By the time we reached London, the sun was high in the sky and there wasn't a cloud in sight. The pale glow radiated off of the pavements, making the cold slabs look as if they were shining. The tall glass buildings were so bright that they appeared to be alight, and the reflections from the cars felt as if they were burning my eyes. I loved London, but it wasn't home, and never had I wanted to be back on Brighton beach so much.
As we stopped at the traffic lights, I peered over my shoulder at Alfie, asleep again in the passengers seat. His head was drooped to the side and his mouth was hanging open. A stray lock of hair hung over his face, and he was breathing softly in a gentle, repetitive rhythm, that comforted me. He looked so cute when he was sleeping.
As we drove up the long, winding drive of The Grove Hotel, my mind drifted to my viewers. There were millions of them out there, and not only did that fill me with joy, it also terrified me. Millions of people that sit there on their phones and laptops and tablets, watching me speak, watching my life. Millions of people that I will never meet, but all seem to know me so well. And no matter how much I try, millions of people that I will never be able to thank enough for what they do for me. I was lost in though when Alfie stirred, just as I began to pull into the carpark of the grand building. Trying not to wake him, I quietly unzipped my bag and pulled out my camera.
"Hi guys" I whispered to the lens. "We've currently just arrived at The, Grove, and I'm going to go and get ready for a conference". I threw a smile at the camera. "Oh and Alfie's asleep" I added on the end, pointing the lens in his direction and giggling at his droopy face.
I shut off the camera, content with that section of the vlog, before reaching for my bag to put it away. As I placed the small black object into the leather pocket, my fingers slipped, and the device went flying out of my hands and onto the floor, hitting the pedals with a bang.
"Wha-", Alfie mumbled, jarring awake. The strand of hair in his face was now directly in his eye, causing him the squint. I pushed down the urge to laugh and reached over to brush it away, then bent to pick up the camera.
"Sorry Alf, I dropped this", I told him, waving the gadget in my hand. "We're here though gorgeous", I added, zipping the device into the small side pocket.
Alfie groaned and hopped out of the car, pulling the bags out behind him. Following his lead, I got out and locked the vehicle behind me, before following my boyfriend into the majestic hotel.
I love The Grove. Ever since my first trip here, the grandness of the place always seemed so surreal, and never fails to amaze me.
As we entered the lobby, a rush of excitement washed over me. I felt like a child in a sweet shop.
The tall stone pillars seemed to be the structure of the building, reaching high up the the top of the room. The floor was a mosaic of colour, so intricate that I couldn't follow it. The ceiling was similar to this, made of a white plaster, the breathtakingly complex design that more than made up for the lack of colour. There were paintings hung on the walls in ornate frames, paintings that looked like they belonged in some sort of palace, and on one wall was a grand wooden cabinet with a gold lining on the surface. Placed on this was a bouquet of fresh flowers in an antique China vase. There were plush cushioned chairs dotted around the room, and in one corner stood a table with a group of people sat around it. The whole room screamed royalty, from the huge wooden doors to the suit of armour placed next to the entrance to the hall.
Whilst I stood there, staring in awe, Alfie had already gone to the receptionist at the front desk and picked up the keys for our room, so I followed him through the tall wooden doors to our room.

The conference hall was a 15 minute drive from the hotel. It wasn't too far into the city, but every turning felt like we were getting deeper and deeper into a maze.
As the taxi started down the final road to the tall building, I started to notice increasing noise. I peered out of the window, to see a massive crowd of at least a hundred swarming the centre. With a start, I realised that they were all screaming and waving at out car.
"Alfie", I muttered, reaching for his arm, anxiety forming in my chest. I looked over to him.
"It's ok", he told me, but he looked just as confused as I felt.
Eventually, the car came to a close, and the two of us apprehensively climbed out of the vehicle.
The first thing I noticed was the noise. It was louder than anything I could remember hearing, almost deafening, a constant, hectic scream for the attention of Alfie and I. Then I became aware of the people around me. Everyone was moving at such a speed it I could barely focus on the pavement ahead.
I slowly headed away from the car, advancing towards the building, but the crowd had noticed that we had arrived, and started to get closer. I tried to smile and wave at them all, but j could feel the panic filling my body, as my heart started to pound and my head began to spin.
"Alfie", I chocked, and extended my arm to reach out for his, but he wasn't there.
The crowd started to close in from all directions, swallowing me up, and all I could hear was my name, being screamed over and over. Cameras and pens were being thrown at my face, hands reaching out and clawing at my arms. I'd never known my viewers to be this vicious, and although I could tell if my mind was playing tricks on me, I felt as if they were all trying to grab me and hurt me. I frantically searched through the crowd for my boyfriend, but I couldn't see him anywhere.
"Alfie!", I cried again, chocking on the salty tears that were running down my face.
My chest tightened, and I felt like I was chocking. I couldn't draw breath, and I suddenly felt as if my skin was on fire, burning up in the hot sun.
I turned one more time in desperation, until my legs gave way and I collapsed onto the cold pavement, voices all around me all screaming to see if I was ok, but not one comforted me.
I curled up into a ball, and wrapped my arms tight around myself, trying to block out the commotion, but the panic had reached new levels, and I thought I might just pass out on the spot.
"Zoe?". A small voice sounded, so quiet in the noise, but so close in reality.
I looked up, to see a small girl crouched next to me. She couldn't have been at older than 12, her long brown hair pulled back into a ponytail, a striped top hanging from her frame, with a pair of chunky glasses perched on her nose. The crowd was still going wild, but this girl seemed different. She seemed trustworthy. She seemed to care.
"I'm Ellie.", she said, again her voice only just reaching my ears. She looked up at the people around her. "They're scaring me too", she said. "I want to help you".
Her small hand slipped into mine, delicate fingers gripping me tight. I flinched, but didn't let go.
Slowly, I found my balance and get to my feet, the people still closing in, but knowing that she was there made me feel stronger. It was strange, putting all of my trust into someone I didn't know. Normally I was the one listening to others as they confided in me. It felt so foreign, but somehow she made me feel like I could survive this. 
She began to push through the crowd, her grip tightening as she dragged me along. I slowly started to feel stronger, her determination spreading through me, as I began to make my own way through the people too.
Over and over again I was being pulled into another person, sometimes holding pens and notebooks and other hard objects.
Then the doors were in front of me. Ellie rushed as quickly as possible towards the glass panes, and barged the door open, pulling me through and slamming it behind her.
The second the door clicked shut, I stopped trying to be strong, and collapsed on the floor, blinded by tears, chest heaving, muscles shaking. Each breath that I took was short, and I couldn't get enough air.
I opened my eyes briefly, to see that Ellie was gone, and I had never felt more alone. The panic worsened, and I felt like I wasn't going to make it. Every moment passing feeling like a year. Every second an eternity. I was completely alone. Alfie was gone. Ellie was gone. The screaming crowd were still outside, banging on the windows of the building. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think, I couldn't feel anything but pure terror.
Then I felt a familiar hand on my shoulder, wrapping round my back and pulling me into a hug.
"It's ok Zoe, it's going to be alright", the voice whispered in my ear.
"Alfie", I panted, feeling so relieved, a fresh bout of tears spilling from eyes. "Alfie".