Many Miles Apart

25. Zoe

"Where do you want to eat?", I asked Joe and Caspar as we dawdled down the small alley. The lanes are my favourite part of Brighton, apart from the sea of course. Their labyrinth of cobbled streets and cute little shops makes you feel as if you've turned a corner and travelled two hundred years back in time.
It was evening, and the sun was lowering in the sky. There wasn't a cloud in sight, but nevertheless, the path wasn't that busy. Even with my sunglasses on and a large black hat covering most of my head, the light bouncing on of the glass windows was bright enough to make me squint, and despite my vest-top, I could feel beads of sweat forming on the back of me neck. It was strangely hot for May, especially considering how late in the day it was, and it felt almost like summer had come early.
Caspar just shrugged, and Joe gave me a funny look.
"I don't know, you live here", he said, "which is your favourite?"
At that moment, a couple of girls came from around the corner, chatting loudly. One of them looked up, staring straight at me, then stopped dead in her tracks.
"What?", her friend asked, tugging on her arm. The first girl didn't move, just pointed at the three of us.
"Caspar. Joe. Zoe!", the second girl squealed, running over to us, pulling her friend by the arm.
"Here we go, big smiles", Joe whispered out of the side of his mouth.
"Alright ladies?", he asked as they approached us.
"Oh. My. God", was all that the first girl could say. She said paralysed to the spot, unmoving. I smiled at her, but she stayed frozen.
"OhmygodZoeiloveyourvideossomuchiwatchthemallofthetimeicantbelieveitsyou!", the more chatty of the two screamed, pulling her phone out of her pocket. "Pleasepleaseplease can I have a photo?", she cried, jumping up and down on the spot.
"Sure", I laughed. "And thank you for watching my channel, I really appreciate your support!"
"I'm Emily by the way", she said, her grim spreading from ear to ear. "And that's Annabel." She pointed to her friend.
Emily held the phone up above her face and I leaned in and smiled. She quickly pressed the button a couple of times before locking the device.
This repeated a few more times with Annabel, Joe and Caspar, Emily chatting away about YouTube and life while her friend still seemed stunned silent. It made me smile to see people so happy to see me, taking photos and chatting with them was the least I could do to thank them for everything they did for me. Eventually, we headed back off down the street and ducked into a small restaurant for something to eat. I loved meeting my viewers. There was something about knowing that I could make others so happy by doing what I love that I would never get over.
Once we were seated, Joe began telling the two of us about something that had happened to him and Olly last weekend, and I quickly found myself clutching my sides I was laughing so hard. We were given weird looks from the surrounding tables, but I didn't care. I found myself feeling truly happy for the first time since Alfie had left, and I wasn't going to let anything spoil it. It made me realise that maybe I could get through this, maybe I could survive on my own.
"...and then they threw him in the pool!", Joe shouted, barely able to speak he was giggling so much. I couldn't breathe, and as for Caspar, he was hysterical.
The waitress came over and placed our food in on the table. On my plate sat a huge burger with a side of chips, Joe had the same, and in front of Caspar was the biggest pizza I had ever seen.
Still laughing, I pulled my camera out of my bag and began to vlog our food, as Joe tried to flirt with the waitress. I couldn't help but chuckle at his feeble attempts, but it was tarnished slightly by the knowledge that the only person I could ever want to flirt with would be Alfie, which is kind of difficult considering that he was thousands of miles away. Another all-to-familiar pang of pain smashed into me like a hammer, dragging me back to earth, the happiness from moments ago gone as quickly as it had arrived. I suddenly felt aware of all of the couples around us, sharing food, laughing, having a good time. I quickly went from feeling on a high, to wanting to cry.
"I'm going to the loo", I blurted, getting up.
"But the foods just arrived!", Joe exclaimed. I didn't reply or look back, just headed on to the toilets where maybe I could get some peace.
Rushing into the empty bathroom, I dashed into a cubicle and slammed the door behind me, sinking down onto the toilet seat.
"Why why why?", I whispered to myself in an attempt to hold back any tears. I wasn't sure why I suddenly felt so upset, but part of me knew it was because I couldn't bare the thought of being happy without Alfie. Hugging my knees close, I rocked back and forth, comforting myself as there was no one else to do it for me.
I pulled my phone out of my pocket and checked the time. 8:35 it read. That meant that it would be mid afternoon in New York.
Before I knew it I'd called Alfie and the phone was ringing, and after a while, the lines connected.
"I miss you", I said as soon as he picked up.
"It would have been embarrassing if you'd got the wrong number", Alfie chuckled back.
"Yeah", I replied, not laughing.
"Hey Zoe, look, I'm in the middle of a meeting, can I call you back later?", he asked after a pause. My heart sank.
"Sure", I said, feeling dejected.
"I'll call you in an hour", he told me, clearly feeling bad.
"Ok, I love you", I whispered, my voice cracking.
"I love you too", he said, apparently not noticing.
The line went dead, and I let the tears flow freely down my face. Never had I felt more alone.