Many Miles Apart

34. Alfie

"I'm still not sure that's a good idea ", Eric said, a worried look on his face. He seemed different to usual, tireder, and almost slightly defeated. He was wearing a pair of scruffy blue jeans, and a slightly baggy plain white top that clung to his muscular figure. It was weird seeing him out of uniform, I guess that was partially the reason why he looked strange to me. But there was something else something different that I was too upset to see.
I didn't listen to his warning. I was so angry that I wanted to scream. I wanted to yell and cry and punch something. My heart throbbed like a massive fist was clutching it, squeezing so tightly that it felt like it would burst.
I was sat it the living room of Eric's family home, where he'd been staying with his family for the past few days, despite Rebecca's protests. I'd insisted that it was fine, as he didn't need to be with me in the hotel if I wasn't going out. No one else was home, but it was obvious that a family lived here. The place was small but well kept, with a sofa in one corner of the room, a coffee table and a bookshelf, packed with paperbacks. A small hallway led to the kitchen, a couple of bedrooms and bathroom. Overall, the flat was cosy, and the interior more than made up for the size. It was extremely different to our house at home, but that didn't matter.
"Alfie", Eric said, clearly sensing my anger. He placed a hand on my arm, but I knocked it away. Never before had I felt so mad, so crazed and fuelled by hate. He'd invited me over the second he'd got my call, and the taxi had dropped me off straight away.
"I need to speak to her", I repeated, fuming.
"I-"
"I NEED TO BLOODY SPEAK TO HER!", I shouted, so loud that my lungs felt like bursting. "I NEED TO KNOW WHY SHE DID THIS!"
I sat down on the sofa, suddenly hit by a wave of tiredness and upset. But the anger still remained.
Eric didn't say anything. He didn't seem shocked by my aggressive outburst, but he didn't seem annoyed either. His face stayed emotionless, as if he was trying to decide what to say.
"Please,", I groaned, softening my tone. "She won't answer to me, I you have to ring her." I decided to change my tactics. I needed him to go along with me, and to do that I had to get him to believe that I wasn't going to flip.
"Fine", he said, picking up his mobile, a defeated look on his face.
I waited for him to hand over the phone, running through what I was going to say in my head.
"Hi Rebecca it's Eric", he said down the line. Silence.
"Yes." More silence. The tension hung over our heads like a water balloon ready to burst. I just wanted to understand why she'd do this.
"Alfie wants to speak to you", Eric said, sounding slightly angry. I squirmed at the words, but held my ground and waited. When he didn't speak for a while, I wondered if she would say no. I almost wanted her to, as fear was setting in my stomach.
Eric didn't say anything else. He just slowly took the phone away from his ear, and handed it to me.
I gulped, and took the device from his hand like it was a bomb ready to explode.
"Hello", I said cautiously. What would she say? Would she pin this on me? I felt sick.
"Alfie, how are you?", she replied sweetly. My head span with confusion and annoyance. Did she not even care?
"I think you know how I am", I stated, lacing my voice with venom. I suddenly felt so confident, I was ready for this.
"I don't know what you mean", she said.
"Don't lie and pretend it's all fine. I'm not falling for your bullshit. Why the hell did you post that photo? Why the hell did you sell your 'story' to a gossip sight? Why the bloody hell did you deliberately ruin my relationship with the person that I am truly in love with?! You don't even know me. You know nothing about my life, my relationships, you said yourself you didn't even know who I was before I came here. So why the hell did you think that it was ok to butt in and ruin everything!?" Anger pulsed through my veins. I couldn't think, I just wanted to throttle her.
"Alfie, you ruined it, not me. I acted on emotion, you just let me", she replied, not trying to put on a front anymore.
"Don't be so bloody stupid!", I shouted. "It's all your freaking fault! If you hadn't made it seem bad on the phone, if you hadn't kissed me and posted the photo, none of this would have happened!" Rage stampeded through my body, and endless, deafening parade.
"Look Alfie-", she started, before being cut off by someone else talking to her. I couldn't hear what they were saying, all I could make out was a few 'mmn's and 'yeah's.
I didn't take the phone away from my ear. I was so crazed.
"I have to go, I'll talk to you later, if not I'll see you on the plane." Her end went quiet.
"Rebecca!", I shouted, but she'd gone.
I didn't move the phone away from my ear. I didn't move at all. Eric was stood still, his expression still emotionless. The silence in the room was deafening, and all I could hear was the blood pumping through my head.
The seconds that passed felt like hours, but I didn't speak. I was too hurt to.
Zoe wandered back into my mind again, and all I could think about was how I'd hurt her. How, thanks to me, she was now stuck in this mess.
I thought about the last time I saw her. The way that her small body fit into mine as we hugged. The salty taste of her tears and the softness of her lips. the look on her face as I turned and left her alone in the airport.
Guilt stabbed at me like a blade, so long and sharp that I couldn't bare the feeling any longer.
Throwing the phone down on the sofa, I headed for the door, every step sending waves of pain through my heart.
"Alfie?", Eric called as I left the room. I didn't turn back. I just walked down the corridor, not stopping at the sound of the handle clicking shut.