Neurotic, unlovable, bland. That's how everybody describes Kiara Kade. But truthfully, Kiara is just a confused girl who is blinded by her mothers expectations. A girl that lacks the understanding of friendship and love.
Prince-charming, charismati...
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Anger. Bubbling anger. I've never felt it until this moment.
How could he say that? Be so crude. It wasn't true. She wasn't controlling me. She was guiding me. Her ways were just unconventional. Right? She wants me to be good. Be perfect. Have a future.
I was soaking in my frustration until I gave it and hiked to Emmett's apartment. I wildly knocked on his door. Luckily, Emmett answered instead of Tony. Tony was a different problem I intended to ignore.
I shoved passed him and my mouth ran like a motor boat. "I've never gotten angry at anyone except you. Never. You always say things that piss me off and anger me. I hate it. And then you talk about my mother as if you know anything, as if you know her. And you're a child. If babies came in the form of a man, you'd be one. You whine and you're relentless. You have all the qualities in a person I once avoided, yet I want to be around you. You have no right to have an opinion on what I do and do not do."
After my rambling, I took in Emmett's face. His jaw was clenched and his eyes averted away from mine. "I once thought I was insatiable. But that's you." His tone wasn't aggressive, just flat. "You're right. My opinions don't matter when it comes to your decisions. I know you're a big girl. I'm not here to baby you. I don't want to argue either. But I want you to see reality as it is."
"And what is that?"
"You aren't happy. At all. You're suffering inside. Everything feels...dreadful."
There was silence on my part as his words struck me. Was I that see through? Was my dread so obvious? I felt the pain and aching sensation. The overwhelming fear made my heart beat with welting anxiety. "Kiara," he said sympathetically. "Shit, please don't cry."
Cry? I brought my fingers to my eyes and cheeks. Wetness spread on them. I hadn't even felt the water in my eyes forming. I barely remembered what crying felt like. A mix of pain but also emotional catharsis.
Emmett wrapped his arms around me, hugging me tight and securely.
It hurts. I know I don't want to do this but I can't. I can't leave her. My mother.
"I don't know what to do," I choked out. "I'm so lost."
His fingers wiped my continued pouring tears. "I think a part of you already knows what you want. You just can't accept that you want it." Next he peppered my face with small kisses. It felt healing. "Say what you want. Without thinking."
"Freedom," I cried out. "To escape from her." Not just her but her expectations that have killed me since I was a child.
I guess I am being controlled. Being brainwashed. I didn't want a revelation like this nor one that came this quickly. "I hate you," I breathed out without thinking. I hated what he made me feel. What he made me realize. I hated it. He messed everything up. I was doing good when I was blinded by manipulation.
