Twin Leaves in the Shadow

44章

Hashirama rushed home with a feeling of giddiness from his affair with Madara. He was in such a daze that he nearly forgot he was coming home to his wife.

"Hashirama?" a voice called out from the darkness in the house.

He stopped dead in his tracks.

A light turned on and now Hashirama could see. Mito was standing at the beginning of the hallway, only a few steps away from him. She scanned him up and down with an annoyed look growing across her face.

"From the look of your neck, I assume you didn't talk to Madara. Is that right?" Mito scoffed as she crossed her arms.

My neck? He left hickeys? Is he insane?

Hashirama's hand immediately covered the love-marks that were placed along his neck. His cheeks burned with embarrassment.

"I did talk to him about it. Well, maybe argued is a better word to use." he sheepishly answered.

Her eyes widened a bit with surprise. "Does he accept it?"

"I wouldn't say he accepts it, but he understands. He suspected something like this, anyways."

She nodded. "I see."

They stood silently for a moment. Mito shifted on her feet nervously as she looked up at Hashirama.

"I went to the doctor today," she sighed as she fiddled with her fingers. "We can start trying this weekend."

Anxiety poured into his body. It felt like he was drowning in it.

"Oh."

"It's good timing with our honeymoon," she nervously laughed.

Hashirama stared blankly at the floor.

"That's good for you," he uttered.

Suddenly, Mito's hands were in his. She squeezed his palms gently to get his attention.

"I know you're scared and uncomfortable, but I really think you'll make a wonderful father, Hashirama. It'll keep everyone off your back, too." Mito explained softly.

Finally, the emotions erupted out of him. Tears poured out of his eyes. He was gasping for air in between yelps of emotional agony. Mito was in shock. All she could do was hold him in her arms.

"This is just too much!" he sobbed.

"I'm so sorry, Hashirama. We can wait, okay? Please don't cry!" she comforted.

Hashirama shook his head in disagreement. "No, it's not fair to you. You did this for me. I know you want a child to love and I shouldn't withhold that from you."

"I can't do that when you're this upset about it," she spoke with a sense of guilt in her voice.

Hashirama pulled away from her and led her to the bedroom. She could barely keep up with his fast-paced stride. She wore a look of confusion as he pulled her inside.

He sat on the bed and waited for her to take a seat beside him.

"I care about you, Mito, but I'm also really in love with Madara. This is all things I envisioned with him. It hurts me so much to not have that," he tearfully confessed.

"I don't think you nor Madara can carry a child," she chuckled, hoping to lighten the mood.

Her comment made Hashirama crack a smile, despite having tears drip from his eyes.

"I know that, but we still could have adopted or something. Well, that's if he ever wanted kids. It wouldn't have mattered to me, as long as I had him," he said with a sad smile.

"I thought I was helping you, but I think I've only caused you more pain," she expressed sadly.

Hashirama held her hand to reassure her that it wasn't the case. Her head rested on his shoulder in response.

"I want to give you a child, because you deserve it. It's just- ...weird for me. I meant it when I said I'd do anything for you, for allowing me to be with Madara. So I'll do it."

"Thank you," she sighed.

She stood up and went to the door.

"Go be with him tonight," she smiled, before disappearing into the hallway.

Hashirama didn't hesitate to run out of the home and head towards Madara's. He ran as fast as he could, leaping onto roofs and buildings to get there faster.

He pounded on the door and waited for Madara.

As soon as the door opened, Hashirama barged inside. Madara looked confused and concerned all at once.

"You've been crying? Are you ok-"

Before he could finish, Hashirama silenced him with his lips. It was what he needed to feel okay again. The feeling of being in his arms, his scent of faint sandalwood, the softness of his lips...it was comfort to him.

"Can we go to bed?" Hashirama asked, once he parted from his lips.

"I mean, yeah, but what about Mito?" Madara questioned with concern.

Hashirama didn't bother to answer and just pulled him along to his room.

They stripped their clothes, leaving just their underwear on, before crawling into the bed together. Hashirama rested his head on Madara's chest, listening to his heartbeat.

"Is everything okay, Hashi? Did something happen?" Madara asked again. His hand rubbed circles on Hashirama's back, trying his best to comfort him.

"I just needed you," Hashirama murmured.

Madara squeezed him tight. He was grateful to be able to sleep next to him and just hold him. It had been so long since they were able to do this.

"I love you so much," Hashirama whispered.

"I love you more," Madara replied before kissing him on the forehead.

Hashirama raised up to look him in the eye. Tears were streaming down his face once again.

"I'm so sorry for everything, Madara. I've hurt you so much because I really am weak. I should've listened to you and fought back harder. I don't understand how you could possibly love me-"

"Where is this coming from?" Madara interjected, raising up along with him. He cupped Hashirama's face and gently wiped his tears with his thumb.

"From you."

"I say shit I don't mean when I'm mad, Hashirama. I don't blame you for anything. If anything, I blame myself. I'm a villain in everyone's eyes. This all happened because I'm me." Madara frowned.

Hashirama pushed him back down onto his pillow and nuzzled himself back onto his chest.

"It's not fair," Hashirama sighed.

They both went silent, and eventually fell asleep.