SKAM britain - shame

Sunday - 11:29am

Levi was back at the cafe. He used to come to this cafe all the time. He would sit in the window, which gave him the perfect opportunity to people watch the outside if there was nothing interesting going on inside. This cafe was Levi's safe space, and he now felt guilty that he hadn't been much since he met Grayson; he hadn't needed to.

His cup of tea was long abandoned and sat there going cold as he waited for Rosie to turn up. To be perfectly honest, Levi didn't really want to speak Rosie every again. But he would. For Grayson.

The elder had gone home yesterday like promised, and Levi missed him more then, than he ever did over the last week. Levi was happy he got to meet Grayson's parents even though it wasn't in the best of circumstances. Grayson's parents were lovely, and so worried about their son. They were just thankful he stayed two nights somewhere safe. Despite that being another boy's bed. With the promise to visit, and formally meet Grayson's parents later in the week, Levi reluctantly let Grayson go, and arranged to meet Rosie to talk.

Just as Levi was about to give up hope of her showing up, Rosie walked through the cafe door, spotting the younger boy immediately. Levi sent her a hesitant smile that wasn't returned, which led to a sinking feeling to grow in Levi. She sat down at his table, staring at him.

"Hi."

"Is he okay?"

Levi flinched at the sharpness in her tone. He knew this would be difficult, but he didn't think it would be this difficult. Letting out a breath, he plucked up the courage to tell her straight.

"No. When I found him... he was alone, and it was cold..." Levi couldn't finish his sentence. Thinking about how he found Grayson only upset him.

"He slept most of Friday and yesterday until his parents picked him up. His mum said he'd talked about me and I-"

Rosie let out a snort shaking her head. She had such a shitty weekend. "You know, they know he's pansexual right? And trust me, you're not the first boy he's cheated on me with, never mind the first one he's slept with."

Well that made Levi feel even worse. Rosie sniffed and looked out of the window, not wanting to cry in front of the younger boy

"God, why did I always go back to him?" She asked herself.

Levi could answer that one, "Because he's Grayson."

Rosie hummed, a small smile slipping onto her face. The pair sat in silence for a minute or two once more before Levi broke the silence.

"I need some advice. I've made him these promises and I... I don't know how to keep them. I want to be there for him but I don't know how." Admitted Levi. Rosie quickly turned her head back to Levi, sending him a deadpan look.

"You're fucking kidding me right? You want me to tell you how to have a successful relationship with my ex."

He was taken aback by that, "N-no. I...."

"Look, you love Grayson right? Don't you want him to be happy? You've been through this before and I need to know how to get him back to a good place." 

The older blonde sighed, pausing for thought. "You know that day, when I walked in on you two at his house? I think... deep down, I knew then. The way he looked at you... I don't think he's ever looked at me that way. Not even in the beginning when we were good."

"It's going to be difficult for the next few weeks. You need to be patient. And understanding. Those days where he doesn't contact you or sleeps all day; educate yourself. Google it, YouTube, documentaries, fuck, even ask him questions once he's in the right frame of mind."

"Being there is enough Levi. Just... don't rush him. Wait for him, because he will get there. And when it gets too much and you just want to fucking scream; stop. And just take things as they come. Day by day. 'Cause that'll be when you can truly enjoy the amazing moments that come with being with him."

"I guess that's what always brought me back. I was always waiting."

"I know you must hate me, and I'm sorry for the way everything happened. But thank you."

"I-I don't hate you Levi. If I did then I'd have to hate Grayson, and, I don't. I guess I should apologise too. You're not just a good idea Levi, he- he really loves you. As much as it kills me to say it."

Hearing those words lifted the weight that Levi had felt resting on his chest since she first spat them at him that night. 

"But that means you have to step the fuck up, and care for him. Because he needs you now." 

Levi kept his mouth shut at the comment, opting to nod instead, as Matty's words rang his head. Levi was not going to be Grayson's carer. He was going to be his boyfriend.