TW :alcohol.:
TW:cursing.:
TW :suicidal toughts.:
The bitter taste of wine tastes so bad but you stil keep drinking it without caring but you still care somewhere inside your mind and it makes you cry but yet you still keep drinking alone in your dark room while you pull on your hair and down the wine bottle the red wine stains on your white shirt and stockings as you rip them apart as the tears fall and drink til you feel that numb feeling when you drink so you fanatasise about them and having them but you dont you think about kissing them while you drink wine until theres none left.
bandages on your knees as your knees bleed as you drink to feel that comforting feeling that warm feeling in your body as you get up and lie on the window while its open so you could fall or jump at any second but theres that something that keeps you from doing that you want them so bad but no you cant have that of course you cant bacuse they like someone else so you just keep drinking.
painting over their faces in every picture and then crying over it and drinking AGAIN over everything is so annoying to you bacuse you just want to feel okay but no because no matter what you do everyone somehow does something bad or fucking leave your life so you somehow keep yourself alive by texting or calling people who you can,you are trying your fucking best until you cant anymore but who knows because your chest hurts so much stress,you wanna have them so bad well you have them as a really really great friend who you are just a therapist to it hurts but it makes you really happy bacause at least you are helping them to feel better while eveyrhting hurts you have good shit in your life but still that small feeling in your body and mind keeping you awake at night thinking about them but no stop this shit you cant have them please.
