Imagine being in pain from heartbreak for months looking for that euphoric feeling from diffrent people but no luck but yet the one person you met without trying to search made you feel that euphoria again and it makes you feel sick,want to throw up your feelings and emotions because oh good god it makes you feel happy but you dont want to betray yourself right.
them caring about you makes you feel okay but yet you dont trust them you are trying so hard but yet you are scared to talk about feelings because the last time you told someone about your emotions and feelings they made you fall inlove with them and yet you dont want that to happen again but yet controlling your emotions is so hard so thats why you drink your emotions away because you dont want to catch feelings for anyone but yet you are craving it so much.
you havent felt this way in a long time and its eating you up inside because you are trying to drown your feelings and thats why you are forcing yourself to keep everything in and not show anything scared to ruin things or terrified of the same thing happening.
because you talked about emotions and what your ex did to you the way they looked at you when you told them the way in your head they were annoyed by it and shoked at that moment everything felt unreal like you were back in summer 2022 looking at them with loving eyes and them being there for you yet they kept reminding you over and over again that all of that was fucking fake.
you know very fucking well that you are trying to push them away by showing them the true crazy side of yourself because you know every person youce done this before has left they have lied to you or cheated and left you in pieces.'
you deserve to be my yourself beacause nobody deserves to go through this shit with you theres so many confusing emotions noone will every understand why you feel as much as you do.
betayed by everyone
even by youself
