its making you physically go through so much suffering all you want to do is to hold them in your arms and hug them as hard as you ever could and never let go you remeber the early summer with them when you felt the early summer wet grass the fresh air running around with them in the woods kissing them so much its gone ,all of it ,every song makes your insides turn like it feels like someone poking your guts with a fork ,like you physically cant stay still all you want to do is run away to them but at the same time to forever dissapear.
meeting them for the first time was like walking with your eyes closed trusting them with everything,letting them explore your body and trusting their hand and mouth and their lips like trusting them with no gut feeling like nothing youve experienced before ,and losing it feels like being stabbed but not literally but your soul physically belongs to them like being pulled to them like your still so connected to them your soul and body and being belongs to them somehow .
they were horrible to you but the connection you felt to them while you had sex it didnt feel like just intercourse it felt so much more like two souls connecting the promises the lies that were told laying skin to skin the trust that happened between the two of you was so intense to you doing anything like that youd have to give you soul to someone to trust them with your whole being.
your heart feels that deep belonging to them the urge to run every time you think of all that happened between you two like you know if its meant to be itll happen and if they arent then they just arent but to your stupid heart it feels like rawest purest form of love you two had the way you two were so comftrable around eachother laughing fully naked arond eachother and there was no being akward afterwards.
all of that for them to just throw it all away and tell you that they just got so comftrable with you that they stopped feeling the urge to try to keep you no matter what they just gave up after you tried everything to keep them in your life you just can not keep doing everything alone after all those ten months you never gave up even though you were comftrable aswell you still felt the need to try youll always feel that in your soul.
