Every time I show them a picture or a video of someone else they always say they are "fuckable" it drives insane I hate it so much it stings so much each time he comments something sexual ok another woman it hurts like you could just say they are pretty not that you'd fuck them etc feels like I'm not enough for you like do I need to sexualize myself more for you like and if I say something else they are so aggressive like commenting they'd hit you if you'd do this or that and then say it's a joke like these kind of jokes hurt so much but then they call them whining so I feel scared to even say anything because they always say it's whining and then tell me to speak my mind and yell at me and bully me and be mean til I snap and then tell me that's what you fucking wanted.
I just love them so much but this shit hurts so much like I get it I'm difficult but you don't have to be mean to me to the point I'm almost crying my eyes out there's better ways I know I can be a shitty person I'm trying okay I'm working on myself and I know being mentally ill isn't an excuse but I'm trying so hard I'm trying to be perfect for you I feel like I HAVE to be perfect for you I know you tell me to speak my mind but every time I do you call it whining so I don't know what to do I don't wanna break up there's so many perfect things about this relationship but I'm struggling so much yesterday hurt so fucking much and still does a bit I'm trying to love you so fucking much maybe too much sometimes.
I love you so so much your eyes hair the way you kiss me it makes me feel so loved just sometimes it makes me feel like you want more I guess I'm trying to give you all I can I want this to work and keep working so hard I love almost everything about you about us but relationships need work and communication Wich I'm trying.
I love you so much I hope we stay
together forever.
