Watching a movie ,eating pasta, that's all in last year Wich I waisted loving someone who didn't give a shit about me,
Pink hair,feelings, smoking and drinking getting high just to get love and to get your mind off things the small alcohol bottles and endless feelings and the nights ,
The summer is ending and I feel like I'm ending with it sometimes.
Why do I exist like what's the point ,to love?, and get hurt, learn how to feel physical pain without showing it,it takes so much time to learn, some people may never learn but that might be good .
Alot of people, not only men I wanna say men but I'm biased ,are horrible people and don't love you but act like it, manipulation is horrible because slowly it drives you crazy so you always think you are crazy and they are right ,its so crazy how strong the manipulation and mental abuse is.
They are just seeing us as toys to mentally drive on not all men but again I've had horrible experiences with many men, being alive feels weird because I'm alive after everything I've gone through so what's the point ?,because life is going through so much and just living.
Good luck Elly mf
You'll have therapy with slay
You miss him ,your partner they've been depressed lately and you miss their touch and loving nature physically being intimate without having sex, the touches and kisses now it slightly feels like they're avoiding it yet here ,now your brain is again telling you they might have someone else because that's what has happened again and again in the past and it still affects you so much deeply like you feel like you're always trying to rip it out of your soul because you don't want to be affected by something that someone who hated you by telling you that they loved you for months on end while emotionally abusing you.
I haven't written for a while
Huh
You hate that what he did still affects you so deeply while all you did was help him to heal ,you feel like a shell full of something that wants to escape,you feel like what he did to you will haunt you forever.
I hope noone ever has to feel this kind of hatred towards someone that I feel for them for what they took from you ,the one thing that belonged truly to me and me only, and just took it as a prize or as a medal that he could win at just another game
They didn't take it as if it was given to him gently and softly they just took it because they just wanted it so badly out of lust not love,because then they'd feel like they achieved something.
I don't think saying that they almost told you to get the fuck out their face and just continue without even blinking an eye isn't okay and you did not deserve that,they made you realize how horrible depression actually affects you.
I sometimes don't feel real like everything that has happened has just been a dream and is not real ,like I'm so grateful that I have my current partner but at the same time you feel like you are floating in space,the air sometimes smells like the past memories As the past years.
My thinking is weird welcome to my mind
