Innocence Lost

Chapter 95

My head hurt, thumping like crazy as I open my eyes. Turning to my side and staying in bed all morning is what I wanted to do. This weekend has turned out to be a complete shit show. I hadn't slept a wink all night, my mind too busy re-running the interaction I had with Eric on the rooftop last night.

Heaving myself upright, I swung my legs out of bed and ambled through to the bathroom to take a shower before heading to the training room. Fights were starting today and I was dreading seeing Eric's face. And to think a few days before we were fucking each other's brains out. Ughh I didn't want to think about it.

Was I actually going to tell him that I loved him?  What the fuck is wrong with me? Worse, how can I pretend like nothing happened when we have to see each other everyday?

"Today is going to suck" I mumble as I stood underneath the warm shower.

Wandering the halls of Dauntless at six in the morning I tried to take in the silence. I wanted to be alone for a bit before training started so I went by the chasm to read my emails. The sound of the chasm always comforted me. For a split second I felt like things were going to be okay. I open my emails and sigh when I see there's quite a lot. Eric often had a ton of bullshit emails and I hated going through the ones I had access to.

As I was skimming through them I noticed one in particular was encrypted, which was weird. Who would send me an encrypted email? I couldn't even tell who it was from, the address was untraceable. I'm going to have to ask Four to look into this for me. In the meantime initiation is starting soon so I better get a move on.

As I'm walking to the training room Eric rounds the corner on the opposite side. I slow my pace when I see him, not wanting to walk inside with him. That didn't work out as planned. We both made it to the door simultaneously and without saying a word he opens it, waiting for me to step in first.

I walk directly to Four while Eric walks past us towards the board and starts inputting todays pairs for the fights.

"Morning" I say to Four as I enter the training room.

"Morning" He replies, watching Eric walk by "You okay?"

"I'll live" I smirk.

"If you ever need to talk, you know I'm here" he says warmly.

"Thanks Four. There is actually something I wanted to talk to you about-"

"You guys ready for today?" Jesse storms in all pumped up.

"Ecstatic" I answer sarcastically "We'll talk later" I tell Four.

Soon the initiates came and made an arch around us as we stood by the board. Four nods at Jesse to begin.

"Today you are all ready to begin fighting. These fights are graded, just in case some of you forgot. This isn't like the sparring that you all have been doing. So, I suggest that you show us everything that you got" Jesse states.

"Since there are an odd number of you, one of you won't be fighting today" Jesse continues.

I look at the board and see that Tris's name is not paired. She is the one sitting out today, which necessarily isn't a good thing. She definitely looks relieved.

"Get moving, Will and Al, you're up"  Eric shouts.

Will and Al moved to the arena, standing across from each other. They put their hands up by their faces to protect themselves, as Four had taught them, and shuffled in a circle around each other. Al stood half a foot taller than Will and twice as broad. Everything about Al is big, making him look menacing but he's too afraid to use his natural assets to his advantage.