Innocence Lost

Chapter 37

Warning: Mature Content. . .

I stood there frozen. What just happened?  Did Eric just threaten to make me fractionless? How could he treat me this way? The other night obviously meant nothing to him. I knew sleeping with him would be a big mistake. It's not like he was going to miraculously develop feelings for me. The guy is totally void of all emotions. I'm nothing special to him.

If he had only told me the truth about what Ryker did then maybe he wouldn't have been in my fear. It's all his fault, I can't help what I'm feeling inside. Now I feel like I'm making excuses for myself and my feelings for him.

I sigh deeply as I rush through the double doors and down the hallway. I didn't know where I was going, there was so much going through my mind. Truthfully a small part of me believed Eric would kill me if he had to. Once he finds out the truth he might do just that.

What if he already knows? 

He must suspect something, especially after observing my fear. I've thought about telling him that I'm Divergent but I know I would be signing my own death warrant. He hunts people like me, of course he would kill me or turn me in to Jeanine.

I never felt more lost than I do now.

Four definitely knows about Eric and I. What is he going to think of me now?  Four was one of the few people I trusted here in Dauntless. What if he doesn't want to help me anymore? I needed to talk to someone, someone else I trusted. Someone I know who wouldn't judge me.

I made my way to the infirmary, hoping Trinity would be there. I saw her sitting at her desk from down the hall. Once inside I quickly shut the door behind me.

"Kate, are you okay?" She said looking up from her tablet.

"I need to talk to you" I started to cry.

She quickly walked over to me and led me to one of the chairs in front of her desk.

"What's wrong?" She rubbed my back. It was comforting.

"I-I made a mistake" my voice was shaky.

"What happened? What mistake did you make?" She sounded so sincere.

I looked up at her, not able to get the words out.

"You can tell me. It's alright"

"I slept with Eric" I blurted out.

She looked at me with her mouth slightly parted.

"Eric" she repeated.

I nodded slowly.

"Oh. I wasn't expecting that" she said.

She was silent for a minute.

"You can't tell anyone, please. Word gets out it could be both our asses on the line" I say trying to stop my tears from flowing.

"That son of a bitch! Taking advantage of a young, innocent girl. I warned you about him. I told you he can't be trusted"

"He didn't take advantage of me. I wanted it. I wanted him. I don't need a lecture right now. I need a friend" I cried.

"I'm sorry, your right. I won't say anything, I promise"

"Thank you" I sniffed.

"It's just that. . . I didn't know you had feelings for him in that way. He's such a, such a"

"Asshole" I finished her sentence.

She nodded.

Of course I knew he was a asshole. He's the most egotistical, self centered, mean hearted person I know. And still I had feelings for him. I tried my hardest not to but I couldn't help it. He makes me feel things I ever have before. He's also incredibly sexy.