Innocence Lost

Chapter 31 (The Tunnel)

Mature Content

Holy shit, am I really going to go through with this? I can't back out now. Eric made it loud and clear, no more playing games.

But am I ready?

Walking through the pit I see Amanda and Caroline heading towards the mess hall, so I run to catch up.

"Hey girl, let me see your new ink" Amanda asks.

I lowered my waistband to show her.

"Wow, I love it" she shrieked.

"Thanks" I say frowning.

Amanda gave me a odd look, she could tell something was bothering me. I guess she figured if I wanted to talk about it I would. We meet up with the guys at our usual table. Tonight's menu consisted of fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and variety of vegetables. Though I was hungry I was too nervous to eat, so I mostly played around with the food on my plate.  As everyone conversed I excused myself from the table and went back to the dorms, I needed to think. Amanda followed me shortly after.

"Okay so I know somethings up. Spill" she sat next to me on my cot.

"What makes you think something's up?"

She narrowed her eyes at me "Your super quiet and didn't touch your food. You usually eat like a guy"

"Fine" I sighed.

She started to paint my nail as I explained to her my situation.

"Holy fuck. So why are you so depressed?  Your finally going to get it on with Eric. It's about damn time" she shrieked.

"Shhh not so loud" I warned her.

"Chill out, there's no one in here but us"

I looked down at my painted nails, frowning.

She shakes her head at me "I thought you had feelings for the guy"

"I do!" I shrieked.

"Then what's the problem? And don't give me the excuse that he will never speak to you again after you fuck. You know for damn sure he's going to want seconds and thirds"

"Maybe I'm afraid my feelings would deepen after while his. Don't" I say shrugging.

She's polishing her toes now as I blew at my nails to help them dry quicker.

"Maybe that's a risk you should be willing to take. Can't be afraid all your life"

I know she's right. What am I waiting for? I'm 18 years old, an adult. I need to stop being afraid, especially of my feelings. I look down at my nails, happy with how they came out. Amanda begins painting my toes after she finishes hers. Initiates started to come back to the dormitory to start getting ready.

" What happened to you guys?" Caroline whined.

"Sorry" I said softly.

"Kate here had the runs so she's been on the bowl most of the evening" Amanda says all serious.

I hit her arm as she laughs uncontrollably "Amanda, that's gross. And so not true" I said to Caroline.

Amanda sticks her tongue at me as I roll my eyes at her.

"Well I know something else Eric can do with his tongue" she snickered.

After my nails dried I took a long cold shower to calm my nerves. Maybe Amanda is right, I should just sleep with Eric. From what I've heard he's quite good in the sack.