Innocence Lost

Chapter 51

I can't believe I'm still shaking. It had been twenty minutes since I'd come out of my fear landscape and I couldn't chase the slight tremor from my hands. When Jesse and I got back to the dorms Caroline was sitting on her bunk waiting for us, everyone else was asleep.

"How was it Car?" I asked, sitting next to her.

"I sure as hell can tell you one thing, I'm not ever going through that ever again" she shook her head.

Jesse sat on the other side of her and we both gave her a hug, sandwiching her.

"It's over" he tells her.

We spent the remainder of the afternoon hanging out and relaxing in the dorms. I also caught a nap here and there, which I so desperately needed.

"Fuck, I need a drink!" Amanda shouted from her bunk, waking me up "Do you guys want to get a drink? I mean we can do whatever we want now, right?"

Caroline laughed at her excitement "We can't do whatever we want, we don't even know if we passed initiation"

Amanda scoffed "Don't be such a sour puss" She rolled over to face me "What about you, Kate? I'm sure you can use one" she said winking.

I honestly wasn't in the mood to drink right now. Lord only knows how shit faced I'm going to get tonight when we celebrate.

"No" I paused, struck by an overwhelming urge "I want to get another tattoo" I

"Awesome! Let's all get tattoos!" Tyler shouted excitedly.

"I could go for another" Thomas added.

"How about we all get the same tattoo? Something to keep up bonded for life. I mean I consider you all my new family" Tyler said.

"I think that's a good idea" I agreed.

"What should we get?" Amanda asked.

"How about the Dauntless symbol with our initiation year? I'm sure we can all agree on that" I said.

Luckily the tattoo parlor was empty. Bud and Tori were very accommodating since we didn't have appointments. I ended up getting mine on my right shoulder.

It was almost time for dinner, so we anxiously headed towards the dining hall. Testing had been over not too long ago and the Erudite officials were being escorted out of Dauntless. There was no trace of Jeanine or my father. Hopefully they had already left.  At dinner we were playing with the food in our plates, too nervous to eat. Jesse kept fidgeting his legs. Tyler and Amanda were too into each other for us to even pay attention to, so Caroline, Thomas, and I just made small talk.

"Have you guys decided what jobs you would like?" Thomas asked.

I couldn't help but think of Max's offer. Did I really want to work so closely with Eric everyday?

I think not.

"Depending on where I rank I was thinking about something maybe in the offices. I wouldn't mind working for one of the leaders. . .  except Eric" Caroline said.

"Haha it would definitely suck working for that asshole. I was thinking Special Forces, if I rank that is" Thomas said, taking a big bite of his burger.

"How about you Kate?" Caroline asked.

"I don't know, didn't really give it much thought. I would like to train initiates, but that's not a full time gig" I said shrugging "Maybe something in intelligence"