|| Star-Crossed ||

33

What About Me?

THEODORE NOTT
When I left the Hufflepuff dorms, I headed for Slytherin. My mind was racing a million miles a minute. It was hard to breathe. I felt awful for Caroline, truly. But she wasn't my main concern right now. She can't be. Draco and I just found out that this summer, Draco gets his dark mark and receives a task from Voldemort. My best mate is going to be a death eater and I can't stop it. Both our dads are death eaters and so when we were kids we promised each other and ourselves we would never become that. But now that Lucius failed, Draco has to take his place. It's not fair. It's not fair to him. He did nothing wrong and now Draco is suffering. He lost his father, his first love and his innocence. It's not fair. Draco deserves better. They both do.

When I got to the Slytherin dorms, I headed straight for Draco's room. I knocked on the door and there was no answer. "Draco, mate- It's Theo." I said. I knocked again and got nothing. "Draco, it's Theo and I'm coming in," I said. I drew my wand and pointed it at the door. "Alohomora," I said. The lock clicked and I went in. The second my foot crossed the threshold, I froze. His room was trashed. There were holes in the wall the size of his fist, broken glass, papers everywhere. It was wrecked. I went into the bathroom and the mirror was broken and bloody. He punched it with his fist. "God damn it," I mumbled. I knew I shouldn't have let him go. I ran out into the common room and looked around. Most people were gone on the trip to Hogsmeade. It was just the first and second years. "Has anyone seen Malfoy?" I asked. I got quiet no's and a few head nods. I ran down the halls and through the castle. I checked the library, the Great Hall, and the courtyard. Then it hit me. His spot. His and Caroline's spot. I went and climbed the stairs to the astronomy tower. When I got up there, my heart stopped. He was standing on the ledge. One step forward and he would be plummeting to his death. I walked up slowly and took a breath. "Draco," I said calmly. He turned around and looked at me. There were tears on his cheeks. I've only seen Draco cry twice in my whole life. The first time was when we were 9. His father had just beaten the living hell out of him because he embarrassed him at a pureblood party. Draco showed up at my house and my mother patched him up. That night when he slept over, he cried himself to sleep. The second time was when he found me high in the bathtub after my mum died. I had nearly overdosed, and he lost it. He started crying and begged me to get clean. I've known my best mate for almost our whole lives and I've seen him cry twice. That's it.

"You can't stop me," he said. "Mate, don't do this-" I started as I walked closer. "Stay back! Don't come any closer!" he yelled. I stopped dead in my tracks. "I'm sorry, Theo. But I have to. I can't do it. And you can't stop me." he said. "No, I can't. But I can tell you what will happen if you go through with this," I said. He looked at me again. "Your mum will be all alone. She'll have nobody to protect her. And if you're gone, The Dark Lord will just pick someone else to do his dirty work. What if it's someone younger, someone more scared?" I said. "It would be you," he said. "And if I could, I would take your place in an instant but not because you're dead." I said. He looked back out. "Who would protect Caroline?" I asked. I watched his body stiffen. "Who would protect her from Marcus and Adrian and Graham? Who would protect her from The Dark Lord? How would she feel if you died?" I asked. "She'd be better off without me," he said. "Yeah, I'll bet she's better off without parents, or Cedric, or Sirius or all the other people she loved that died. I bet she's better off without them too." I said. "I have to do this," he said. "Fine, but can I ask you one more thing?" I said. He was quiet. "What about me?" I asked. He looked at me quickly. "What am I supposed to do when my best friend is gone? How am I supposed to go on? Am I supposed to just move on and live my life? Without you? You are the only person I've had my whole life. So if you let go of that railing, what about me? Huh, Draco? What about me?" I said. My eyes filled with tears. Draco's head fell forward and he exhaled a shaky breath. I stepped forward and placed my hand on his arm. "Get down," I said. He choked back a sob as he climbed down. He fell to the floor and started to sob. I dropped down next to him and pulled his weight against mine. He started to struggle as he sobbed, pulling away from me. "Don't fight it," I whispered. I hugged him and he cried. "We'll do this together. Like everything." I said.
It's not fair. He deserves better.