|| Star-Crossed ||

40

It Doesn't Matter

DRACO MALFOY
My mind was going a million miles a minute. I wanted nothing more than to apparate straight to the clubhouse to see her. But I couldn't. I shouldn't. I'm bad. Bad for her, bad for everything. I'm a fucking death eater. Going to see her is a bad idea. I don't deserve her after what I've become.

"So what? You give up?" Theo snapped. "What?" I said. "You told me that you were doing this to protect her. Well right now, Caroline needs you more than anything or anyone. And you just want to sit here." he said. "I'm not good for her," I said. He scoffed. "No, you're scared. You're scared to see her because you love her so much and you don't want her to see you like this," he said. I said nothing. "Too bad! If you don't come with me, I don't care how much you say you love her. You're a coward and you're selfish if you are going to make her go through this all alone." he yelled. I sighed. "Ok," I said quietly. He looked at me. "Really?" he said. I nodded. "How do we get out of here without anyone knowing?" he asked. I shrugged. Then he looked past me. He walked over to the window and looked down. "You're mad," I said. "It's not too far. We could make it." I said. "We're on the second story!" I exclaimed. He smirked at me and climbed over the ledge. Then he jumped. I ran to the window and looked down. He was laying in the mud and groaning. When he saw me, he laughed. "Hurry up!" he yelled. I groaned. "Fine," I muttered. I jumped out the window and landed in the mud, falling to the ground. My suit was covered in dirt and Theo laughed. "You look great, stud." he said. I rolled my eyes. "Let's go," I said. We ran to the hedges and climbed over and ran out past the gate. Then we apparated to the clubhouse.

When we got to the door, I reached for the handle and Theo grabbed my arm to stop me. "Wait-" he said. I looked at him and stopped. "I just- she's fragile. Ok? You can't get angry," he said. "I would never get angry at her for this. It's not her fault," I said. "No, that's not what I mean. "I mean, when you see her, you are going to want to kill them. I understand, we all did. But you can't focus on that, focus on her." he said. I just nodded. Then we went inside. Blaise, Enzo and Potter were all sitting on chairs in the living room. They were quiet. Then they saw us. "Where is she?" I asked. Potter stood up and moved over. I walked over to the couch and she was laying there, unconscious. "She still hasn't woken up?" Theo asked. "No," Harry said. I sat down on the couch and held her hand. I moved some hair from her face and looked at her. She had a split lip, and a black eye. There were scratches and hickeys on her neck too. Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes. "Caroline, love." I whispered. Nothing. "Caroline, please open your eyes." I whispered. Still nothing. "It's me, it's Draco," I said. Still nothing. "She isn't going to wake up," Harry said. I looked at him then back at her. "Line, it's Draco," I said. And then it happened. She opened her eyes and looked at me. I gave her a small smile. "Draco?" she said. I nodded. "I'm here, you're safe." I said. Tears filled her eyes. "I didn't want it, Draco. You have to know that, I didn't want them to. I said no. I promise" she said. I nodded. "I know, love. It's ok. It's not your fault." I said softly. "I'm sorry, Draco." she said. I shook my head. "No, don't apologize. Don't. You have nothing to be sorry for," I said. I wiped the tears that had fallen to her cheeks. "I yelled your name," she said. I looked at her. "I don't know why. But when it was happening, I yelled for you." she said. I fought back tears. Then I just nodded. "There were 3 of them. They- they took turns. It hurt." she said. A tear fell to my cheek and I wiped it away quickly. "They hurt Theo too," she said. Theo walked over and sat down. "I'm ok, Caroline. Really." he said. "I should have just done what they asked. They said they wouldn't hurt you if I went upstairs with them. But I fought. It's my fault they hurt you." she said. "No, you did exactly what you should have done. You fought and I'm proud of you." Theo said. She just nodded. "Can we have some privacy, I want to talk to Line," I said. They all nodded and went into the other room. I looked at her and wiped her tears again. "Are you angry?" she asked. "No, I'm not angry." I said. "I'm disgusting. A whore." she said. "No, you aren't. You're my beautiful girl." I said. "No, I'm not. I'm a whore. A slag." she said. "Line, stop." I said. "No. There were 3 of them. They took turns. They all used me." she said. "Line, that's not-" I started. "You were right, Draco. I'm just a used up whore." she said, and her voice cracked. "No!" I said. I held her chin and she looked at me. "I didn't mean that. I never meant any of that." I said. Tears streamed down her cheeks and she sat up. "Then why did you say it? Why did you leave me?" she asked. Her voice was shaky and she looked like a scared little girl. "I- I'm sorry." I said. "Do you- do you still love me?" she asked. I stared at her. Fuck, fuck, fuck. "Yes," I said quietly. She smiled. "But that doesn't mean I want to be with you." I added. Her face fell. "I shouldn't have come here," I said standing up. "Draco, please-" She started. She stood up too and I froze. She wore an oversized shirt and her knickers. There were remnants of dried blood on her thighs and bandages on her ribs. She quickly wrapped the blanket back around her. "I shouldn't have come. I just came to check on you because Theo told me too. I didn't mean for you to think this changes things between us." I said. More tears fell to her cheeks. "I love you." she said. She walked towards me and laid her head on my chest. My body stiffened up and I kept my arms at my side. "I love you, Draco. Please don't leave." she said. She held my face and looked at me with pleading eyes. I shook my head. "Please, we need eachother," she said. She pulled my head to face her. "No, we don't. I don't need you." I said. I pulled at her hands but she clung to me. She gripped the collar of my jacket and held me. "I love you, please don't do this." she said again. "I'm sorry, Caroline. I'm sorry for what happened to you but it doesn't matter." I said. She froze and stepped back. "It doesn't matter, ok?" I said. She just nodded. Tears fell to her cheeks. "Then go, leave!" she said.
And I did.