Amid [ h.s ]

07

Elianna Grace

tw// suicide 

"What the fuck, Ethan oh my god." I run towards him after I see the blood coming from the veins he just slit open on his left wrist. He stood outside my parents house waiting for me to come.

"Why baby oh my god please please stay alive please, I'm going to get you help. Wait right here." I run towards my car and get my bag filled with supplies I usually keep for situations like these.

Ethan is seventeen and this was his fourth attempt. It hurts to see him suffering like this and it's all our parents fault. They were both emotionally and physically abusive our whole life and growing up it was so hard cuz they'd constantly bring us down on everything we did. Point out our flaws and ignore the good we did cuz thats what they always expected out of us at every second of our life. We had terrible self esteems growing up.

Ethan isn't my biological brother, he was dropped off at our door step one night, when I heard my dad hitting my mom in the midst of all the yelling and violence, I heard a baby cry outside our door and it was eth's.

It was later found out that it was the baby of the couple who lived few doors away they were both mentally ill and went through depression their whole adult life, that following night they overdosed after leaving him at or doorstep and to be honest I'm glad they left him with us cause I love Ethan with my whole heart, we've been there for each other our whole live and I don't know what I'd do without him.

I even got to name him Ethan . He was like my little savior in my small tiny world filled with loneliness and pain. I was five and he was just a four month old baby. The best baby brother I could ever ask for and now there he stands sobbing in the front yard praying to die.

I put the a bandaid all over his hand and I told him to apply firm pressure on it, at the same time I made him sit in the car as I ran to the drivers seat rushing to the nearest hospital.

We rush into the hospital and Ethan soon gets admitted into the ER.

Few hours later I get the news, he's stabilized and that I could go see him.

As I got into the room I could see he was asleep. I sat beside him, held his hand and began speaking to him even though I knew he couldn't hear me.

"Im so sorry Ethan, you mean the world to me and I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you . It's my job, the one job i'll never get tired of doing and I'm so sorry, so sorry I couldn't protect you  from them. I'm so sorry" I say bowing down and thats when I felt his hand brush my hair saying, "I'm so sorry Elianna but its not your fault please don't blame yourself, you always blame yourself for everything that happens especially when it concerns me please don't this, this not on you el trust me."

"I know this is not the right time Eth but only if you feel comfortable telling me, what happened?" I say softly.

"My girlfriend broke up yesterday with me saying I don't deserve love and I wasn't even worth her time, I dint do anything el I promise I treated her with nothing but respect and love and today I find her making out with the football team captain. It hurt so bad but I still thought everything will be fine but I went home and there it was happening again. Mom and dad fighting, yelling, throwing things. They dint even notice me coming in and while I climbed up the stairs to get into my bedroom all I could hear was the both of them leaving the house, I couldn't el I promise I tried I really did I-" he sobs and I just held him saying, "I know eth its okay I'm here now, I'm gonna take care of you don't worry I'm here eth I'm here." I say.

"I tried thinking of you el I promise I did but I just couldn't take it, I dint want to live anymore, there wasn't anything for me to live for. Everyone keeps backing down on me I dint know what to do. I'm sorry I know your always there but I-" he breaks again

"Shush don't say anything it's alright I understand." I say and slowly he falls asleep and you could hear him faintly snoring. He looked so peaceful and at that moment all I wanted to do was protect him from everything and anything coming in his way.

I walk out of the room and go talk to the doctor, "Hi doctor, thank you for everything and saving my brother I will forever be grateful." I say.

"It's okay dear, I will schedule him for some psychatric visits for at least three months it's standard procedure. He will be fine don't worry. It was a close call but he's all good now." She says very professionally.

I check the time and its almost 5:30 am and I know I have to go to the hospital today but I simply couldn't I had to be there for Ethan. He's all I have.

So I decide to call the dean hoping he would pick up at this time, but he doesn't. I call the captain to inform him but he was half asleep  yet he managed to give me Oliver's number informing me to tell whatever I needed to say to Oliver he would be awake this early.

So there I was calling Oliver who din't pick up and then i dint know what to do, just then I get a call back. It was Oliver.

"Hi I'm sorry who's this" he says.

"Uh- Hi Oliver I say I'm Elianna." I say

"Oh how are you, I'm just getting ready to come at the hospital, i'll see you there?" He asks but continues," You know what, you wanna have breakfast together? I know this great place-"

"Im so sorry Oliver I'd love to but I have a family emergency which is why I called you. I wont be able to make it today and probably tomorrow as well." 

I continue saying, " I know we have several interrogations scheduled for today but if it's okay could you send me the interrogation tapes i'll make sure to send you a report by the end of the day."

"First of all don't worry about that of course I'll send them to you personally, and second if you need any help you can always call me now that you have my number." He says.

"Thank you Oliver I got to go now." I say as I notice Ethan slowly shuffle in bed and wake up. 

Few hours pass by, I get Ethan's favorite food and he gulps it down faster than ever. Thats when I get a call which I was expecting from either the police officers one scene or Oliver but no it was an unknown number.

I walk out and head out of the ER and pick up the phone and there I hear that deep British accent saying, "Elianna, Why aren't you here? Is everything okay?"

"Uh-I-harry, its a family emergency ill be back in about two or three days."

"I don't give a fuck about work, are you okay?" He says without a pause.

I don't answer.

Just then few ambulances with really loud sirens come park beside me and rush inside and then he says," Elianna where are you? I'm coming to get you." he says immediately.