Destined

SHE DOESN'T WANT YOU!

I was taken aback by Amarin's statement. This couldn't be real. I trailed his face, his eyes for any trace of deception or dishonesty...but found none. 

Why would he admit such feelings for me? We only spoke twice to each other. We were strangers. You have to KNOW somebody to develop these kind of deep feelings! I would have understood a physical kind of attraction, because you don't have to love somebody to feel a sexual pull. But affection or...love?

I shook my head. „No, Amarin, no, why do you admit having feelings for me? We only saw each other once. How should you have been able to develop a liking for me?" The next thing Amarin did was ... laugh!

I watched his outburst helplessly, at the same time insulted, like I couldn't see the obvious right in front of my eyes. Something was bugging me. An alarm went off in my brain. But I was still clueless, what my mind was trying to warn me off. Our whole conversation was triggering me. It all felt in some way ...planned?

Amarin calmed himself down. He observed my facial expression with an unreadable face. „You might not know me, Callida, but I know you quiet well."

What? How...? I opened my mouth to speak, but no words left my lips. I had to sit down. I let myself drop down on the first seat next to me. So many secrets, riddles and unsolved problems. When did I begin to lose control about my own life? Well ... easy, three summers ago, when a bolding yellow light threw me in the pit of wolves. I big wave of self-pity swallowed me.

My life has became so unpredictable, although I LOVED being in control. I heard Amarin exhale next to me. He knelt down on his heels and took my right hand in his. I let him, because I needed answers.

„Four summers ago, I saw you for the very first time." My eyes widened, caugh by surprise. Four summers ago? Where, why ...? Amarin chuckled silently. My eyes snapped to his. „I hear the wheels of your brain turn, Callida. ‚What, how, why...' your face speaks its own language."

His expression became serious again. „If you want to survive in this world, keep your thoughts safely hidden in your mind, learn to guard your expression better. When you are caught off guard, you forget to control your expression."

I lowered my eyes, because I knew he was right and I didn't like at all to be schooled. I knew how to hide emotions like pain, anger, fear...but when I was really surprised, I simply forgot. 

„You came with your grandfather to an assembly of the council. He couldn't leave you alone at home, because at that time guards roamed the Daonnachd houses. He didn't want you to face them alone at such a young age." I remembered that assembly. It was the first and last time I had a chance to attend the council.

„Your grandfather is a man of honour and wise, so ...uh...Consilius wanted to hear his advise in a matter." Amarin's face turned soft as he searched my eyes. „You sat there silently, observing every man present. You listened attentive. And I...observed YOU." 

Even if I wanted to ask something, I was speechless. My brain was a mush, so I kept still and watched him.

„Your nestnut coloured hair was beautifully braided. The skin of your heart-shaped face clear of all blemishes. The plump lips of your mouth let me have thoughts that were clearly inappropriate."

I felt a blush explode on my face, as I heard his words. His eyes trailed my features. I felt exposed and uneasy under his piercing stare. 

„But your eyes...they made me fall for you. Your beautiful green-brown eyes that took everything in, curiously." A shadow captured his own eyes.

„You don't know how their colour NOW haunts me. How these yellow orbs torture me. They show off, that you belong to HIM", he spat the last words. 

„He owns you and everybody can see, that you are his possession. It makes me sick. I want to lash out and kill him right now."

„Well, you can try ...but you will fail", a hard and hoarse voice cut in like a sharp knife.

Both of our eyes snapped to the door, where Gaisgeil stood, huffing. His anger radiated off like steam, his fangs and claws on showcase.

Slowly Amarin rose to his full height. „I wouldn't be so sure, Creachadair." I saw the surprise on Gaisgeil's face, as he realized Amarin's threat. As a predator Gaisgeil knew instinctively, when he faced another strong opponent. I saw how his mind tried to measure, what his instinct told him.

Slowly he crept into the room, assessing every movement of Amarin. „Haven't you learned your lesson the last time, boy?", he mocked him with mirth.

I stiffened, when I saw how Amarin's whole composure crumbled, how hatred and anger clouded his mind. He was ready to expose himself to the Lord of Desa, to rise as his enemy and ...as a dangerous hybrid.

„Don't, Amarin", my loud voice commanded. I had to make him see reason, but than I sensed Gaisgeil's reaction to my atempt.

I saw betrayal, anger ...and pain. He was unsettled by my interference. Gaisgeil turned away from Amarin, disregarding him as an possible attacker. „Callida, why ...?", he asked in a calm and deadly voice.

Fear spread through my mind and body. "Did you two plot against the Lord of Desa, to take me down?" His eyes widened suddenly. "Are you...are you two lovers?", he pressured further.

All of a sudden something in my brain clicked into the right place. Gaisgeil was right, it was all a plot, but not in the way he thought. THIS was all planned by Amarin. Exactly this situation! I had to do something ...something, but what? I knew, that if Creachadair passed a certain point of logic, there was no turning back. They couldn't return to see reason. I felt helpless.

Amarin knew too, because he chukled in a cruel way to provoke Gaisgeil beyond repair. „You see, she is on my side, she will never be yours, Creachadair, because she wants ME. You are not worthy to be her destined. She is so much more than you. You are only an abomination of nature."

My heart clenched painfully when I saw the hurt on Gaisgeil's otherwise strong and hard face. He watched me, as Amarin lashed out for the final blow.

„It hurts, doesn't it, to lose such a precious, beautiful destined, to never be able to hold her and make her yours. SHE DOESN'T WANT YOU!"

„That's not true, Amarin, and you know it, so don't put thoughts in my destined's head", I shouted. I took one step to Gaisgeil, my hands reaching out for him in a careful way, like you do, when you want to calm somebody down.

"Gaisgeil, please, listen to me", I pled in a sweet, soothing voice... but it was too late. Gaisgeil lost it, his eyes turning to slits. And than all hell broke loose.

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