Destined

„Time To Move On"

I rummaged through section E - H of the library, searching the shelves, books and folders, reading the titles. My eyes stopped at one book: „Eugenics-improving the human race". I frowned, something did not feel right about it. Improving the human race indicated, that humans were incorrectly „constructed". But we weren't, we were perfectly fine.

My fingers traced the next cover. A DNA strand popped out. I read about it - our genetic informations were stored in the DNA „Genetic engineering: tackling and defeating deseases". I read about genetics. It was still a miracle to me but I understood that this double spiral was the key to our being. 

I went on reading the titles „Genetic adaptation", „Geo-engeneering", „Global warming and human evolution". My forehead wrinkled. Global warming...when? As I watched out of the frosted window I couldn't believe, that a global warming existed in the past on earth. I opened the folder. „NASA" stood in big letters on the yellowed paper. It was an article called „Scientific consensus: Earth's climate is warming", written in 2020. I didn't know when that year exactly was but it must have been an incredible long time ago. Because today there was no trace of warmth. There were regions in Desa, that rarely saw the sun.

I started to read. 

„According to NASA, 2016 and 2020 are tied for the warmest year since 1880, continuing a long-term trend of rising global temperatures. The 10 warmest years in the 141-year record have occurred since 2005, with the seven most recent years being the warmest. Credit: NASA's Goddard Institute for Space Studies."

My brain could not accept, what my eyes read. Once upon a time our earth was warm!!! How could that be? And why did it change? In our world we suffered from a permanent winter, ice and snow. 

I read on.

„The gradual heating of Earth's surface, oceans and atmosphere, is caused by human activity, primarily the burning of fossil fuels that pump carbon dioxide (CO2), methane and other into the atmosphere. Earth's climate is now changing faster than at any point in the history of modern civilization, primarily as a result of human activities. Global warming is expected to have far-reaching, long-lasting and, in many cases, devastating consequences for planet Earth."

I couldn't grasp all the terms and informations the text offered. But I understood one thing: the warming wasn't good for the earth and it was caused by humans. I had to know more. What were these consequences the text indicated?

I exhaled deeply, tracing numbers, drawings, pictures and charts. My eyes bulged at certain  pictures. There was sun, heat, sand and a big sea, people were nearly naked and swimming, obviously having fun. The water in our world was freezing cold, nobody would swim voluntarily in the lakes and the big sea, only the Cuan.

I closed the folder, planning to take a few books and papers with me to read at home. Perhaps grandfather could help me understand the topics. But now my mind was tired. I thought  of the past days. Avoiding Gaisgeil was difficult. Although he gave me space, he was always near, observing my doings from afar. A strange kind of numbness wore me down. I could barely sleep, during the day I felt dizzy and exhausted.

Also I noticed, that Gaisgeil too looked deflated with bags under his eyes. Maybe our fates were really intertwined? Against our will a strange force, a pull, attached us to each other. Why?

I knew, he waited for me to make the first step towards him, but I was still angry. Grandfather and I attended Amarin's funeral. He was a young member of the council, well-respected and acknowledged. Hundreds of people honoured his death and felt enraged about the way he was killed. Gaisgeil himself explained to the council what happened, that Amarin entered the castle, provoking a fight...but nobody believed him.  Not until I verified his testimony. As his destined I wasn't a reliable source to some of the Daonnachd society. Consilius was devasteted, he really liked Amarin like a son.

Angry I withdrew even more into the library of the castle. Yes, I still visited the library, the same library Gaisgeil gave me the keys to. Was I weak? Did I want to be in some way near him? Did I want to meet him by chance? Yes...no!

I had wasted too much time getting to know Gaisgeil, healing others, functioning. In addition I let my research slide. But not anymore. I would find the answers I was searching for...and I would contact the resistance. I had no clue how, only that I would. It was time that things in Desa changed. Not by force though. No more blood shedding, no fights and death. 

We have to rely as a society on one another, work together, everybody at his own pace, using  his or her abilities for the benefit of all. No more elites, strong or weak. We were one!

I stiffened, as I heard the door slowly open. „Callida, are you in here?" Relaxing, I leaned back in my seat. „ How did you know, where to find me?" Ailis watched me with a little sheepish smile. „Gaisgeil told me to watch out for you."

„Oh, so now he is Gaisgeil and not the Lord anymore?", my voice mocked her. When I saw Ailis sad eyes I felt bad. She didn't deserve my scorn. 

„Sorry, Ailis... I am mad and confused." She only nodded in understanding.

„My brother changed since you came back, even since he met you three summers ago, believe it or not.  Gaisgeil is also miserable without you. He watches your every move, can't sleep, doesn't eat." 

I huffed. „Well, he was strong enough to visit his mistress, so it can't be that bad." 

Ailis shook her head vehemently „You know he doesn't want her. He is looking out for his child." I turned my head away from her. „She is nearing the childbirth, Callida, it's only a matter of a few weeks", her soft voice pleaded. I stiffened.

„So?", I asked hurting. She slumped down beside me. „He needs you but is unsure, how to make the first move. Couldn't you find it in you, to be the bigger person and make the first step?"

I turned my head to her, tracing her friendly face. „I don't know, if I want to. Perhaps, it's better if he stays in his world and I in mine", I whispered.

She shook her head. „No, please don't say that", Ailis begged, „I have never seen him so happy and...relaxed. You are good for him."

I touched my hair, straightening the curls. My hair had grown since I came back to Gordan. Perhaps...I should return to the Laidir with my grandfather, forgetting this horrible place... forgetting him.

„Maybe, Ailis, but is he good for ME?" She didn't reply. Perhaps it was time to move on.

„Ailis, when we met or the first time, you told me about the ‚Bertayen'. What do you know about them?"

Slowly Callida comes to a turning point. We see small glimpses of the backround story of Desa. If you liked what you read ... please press the star. Everytime I see a notification it makes me very happy and motivates me to write.