Destined

"There Was More To It"

Startled I woke up. The last thing I remembered was a deep sensual voice singing. A little bit dizzy I rubbed my eyes. „Finally you woke up. I must have really worn you out yesterday, huh", a chuckling voice commented. My eyes wandered around landing on my  fully clothed destined. 

And I was also wearing a shirt and underwear, I realized. Someone had dressed me. I watched how Gaisgeil brought me breakfast on a tray. Slowly he sat down with the tray in hands next to me on the bed. I shook my head. „Some day your cockiness will get your ass beaten", I mumbled, reaching for the warm bread. With my fingers I broke a small piece of the crust away, munching on it. Closing my eyes I enjoyed the warm bread with butter. Hm, the simplest things were always the tastiest.

Gaisgeil watched with amusement how I stuffed my face. „Huh... you really think there is someone out there who can beat me?" As soon as he said those words my appetite vanished. He observed my reaction with furrowed eyebrows. Understanding dawned on his face ...and a painful remorse.

He avoided my eyes as his hand reached out, stroking over the black signs of my arm. Carefully he analyzed them, running his hand over the ink. I let him, accepting this distraction as a avoidance behaviour. Clearly his conscience weighed him down, not knowing how to handle his guilt.

„What are they for?", he asked focused on my shoulder. My heart went out for him, so I played his game. „As you can remember, my dear destined, you send me to the Laidir. They put these signs on their body but not for beauty issues. They are earned." Gaisgeil watched me with interest and regret. We still hadn't talked about my time at the Laidir. Too many actual sorrows and problems held us back. We still had a long road to go. 

„Earned? How?" I rolled up the sleeve,  pointing at the big eagle with spread wings on my shoulder blade. „An eagle stands for a strong will". I moved down to the sword. „This is for hand-to-hand combat skills." Gaisgeil's eyes followed every move of my hand, listening. „And this wolf stands for unconditional loyalty."

Gaisgeil bend down to kiss my shoulder tenderly. His fingers reached out to touch the impressive art. „They are intriguing...", he mumbled. With his index finger he followed the design of the wolf head. „I want to visit Consilius with Ailis in tow."

He straightened again. His eyes on me. „Please accompany us, I have so many questions. I  am so angry and ... troubled, I am not sure, I'd keep my cool. I need you, you have to be there to ground me, Callida." I nodded, scanning his face. „Of course I'll come", I confirmed.

Gaisgeil shook his head in sorrow. „I still can't believe I had a brother, that I killed him without knowing. I did, what I am good at: killing people without remorse,  without questioning.

"I couldn't have known, Callida, please don't judge me too harsh", he pleaded. 

Gaisgeil ran a hand through his hair. "How is this even possible? I had a younger brother! Why did my father send his son away?" 

It was a rhetorical question, so I kept quiet. His agitated face showed a range of emotions that normally weren't in plain view but well hidden. In public his face was either hardend or blank. 

„My father was a cruel and egotistical man. He was very proud of my strength and power and he always wanted more sons to help expand his will. Never would he let a strong son like", his lips thined, "Amarin, go, never."

His expression saught for help. "Callida, help me find the thruth, you are smart and educated. I know, there is more to it. Consilius is the one who knows the whole background story, I am sure. And Ailis? How does she fit in?"

I thought of the last time I had seen Amarin - the day he died. How did I not see the similarities between Amarin and Gaisgeil?  Their facial features, the cheekbones, the chin, the lips where equal, but his eyebrows and eyecolour different. How did I not notice? Did Amarin know, that Gaisgeil was his brother? Was he himself willing to kill his powerful brother, the man he obviously hated ...and envied? 

Amarin as I picture him:

Gaisgeil needed my help and I would gladly offer my support. He was right, there was more to it. Consilius was a clever snake, self-centered and ambitious. When I think about it...was it pride and love I detected on Consilius referring to Amarin ...or ... was it the knowledge, that Amarin was the perfect weapon for his own plans? Was it really grieve I witnessed at Amarin's funeral or was it the sad realisation that his best weapon was dead? I was willing to find out.

A heavy exhale next to me disrupted my inner thoughts. "I have to get a grip on myself again, I can't afford weakness and insecurity. My enemies would think they can take me down." His whole demeanour changed suddenly like somebody pressed a hidden button. He rose from his bed straightening his black clothes, his face void of any emotion, body upright. 

His hand reached out for me to take. I did as expected, rising myself from my comfortable seat. Gaisgeil's face softened a little bit. "There are fitting clothes in the bathroom for you." He smirked. "Black leather, mo ghaoil, for a great Prota in the making!" I gave him a forced smile.

I was a traitor who would betray him in the future!

I didn't want to be the Prota of Desa - I wanted to overthrow this world ...