Destined

"Stuck Up In His Head"

"Why did you hold me back?", Yrina asked irritated.

I shook my head, observing Ceallach, how she moved between the men so graciously but at the same time determined. 

"Yrina, you have to learn not to act on your feelings. I know you think you are unbeatable, but there is always someone stronger out there."

My friend snarled like an animal that was unsatisfied and in a bad mood.

Ronan finally came to us. His compassionate expression took me in.

"Are you alright, Callida?", he asked in a velvet voice like he was afraid, I would break at any moment.

Theos, Ai was a lucky girl. Ronan was everything a man should be: strong, humorous, understanding, loving and not to forget handsome, even with his scars and rough exterior. I knew by heart that he would be a perfect match for Ai...for any girl.

His eyes moved from me to Ai, who blushed under his intense stare. I smiled, watching their interaction. Something must have happened that night, when he held her in his arms to warm her body. The dynamic of their relation changed.

I didn't want to pry upon them. They would sort their emotions out without my help or intervention.

 "I am fine, Ronan, as wrong at it sounds." I saw how his face morphed into an incredulous expresssion.

I bit my lip searching for the right words to explain, what went on in my mind.

"I just think that...we tried. We both tried to accept the destined bond ...and failed for several reasons."

Ronan's eyebrows furrowed. "What reasons, Callida? Are they so serious that you both can't see, what you'll lose, if you give up?"

I remained mute, unable to form a sentence.

"You'll lose something precious and irretrievable. The destined bond is the most beautiful thing that could happen in your life. You'll always have somebody who'll stand by your side, no matter what. The love and care you feel is unbelievable."

Yrina, Ai and I watched each other with round, big eyes. Apparently he spoke out of experience. How else could he know? Did he...did he find his destined? Lost her perhaps? 

My head snapped to Ai. I observed, how the light on her face dimmed. She must have thought the same. It was clear as day to me, that she was in pain.

Gaisgeil and I were in our own love bubble at the Immaniters'. Did I miss, how Ronan and Ai got closer?

"You know", he started silently, "he sent me to watch out for you, because he was afraid of Caellach's reaction to you."

I snorted. "Oh, did he now?"

Ronan's eyes trailed my features. "You are bitter, I can understand that. It's a lot to take in. But Callida, you have to remember: his life wasn't an easy one. As long as his father lived, he had to follow his father's rules and wishes without resistence. Although powerful and stronger than his father, he was a puppet on strings - his fathers strings."

Ronan's expression changed to pity. "Don't judge him too harsh. The things that annoy you, that hurt you, are in the past. He didn't have a perspective, a future of his own. His destiny was written in stone by his father. There was nothing to hope for, to long for...so he gave in his emotions and desires without second thought. I know, you are hurting about his sexual encounters. And I must say, you dont know half of it."

I turned away, having heard enough. "No Callida, you have to listen to me. The moment he met you, everything changed for him. His future could be rewritten. Suddenly YOU were his future and he wanted you more than anything."

I huffed out loud. "More than anything! How well that sounds. Than tell me, why did he betray this bond? If he wanted to act on this bond, why did he sleep with Blaithin? Why does he have a child?"

Ronan rubbed his head uneasy, his forehead in wrinkles. "You know, I am not somebody who meddles in other people's affairs. But now I have to, if I want to help my friend, because he is too stuck up in his head to do it on his own."

My breath got caught. Even Yrina bent her neck to get closer. 

"You were in your second year at the Laidir, when he felt your happiness. He didn't know what caused your happiness and it drove him mad. He tore himself into thinking about it, what the reasons could be. You were happy without him, while he was suffering alone. Obviously to him, he needed you more than you him. Gaisgeil couldn't handle this knowledge well, because he was miserable. And when I say miserable, I mean miserable. You don't know how strong the Creachadair feel any emotion, Callida: love, hate, pain, happiness, triple your own emotions than perhaps you'll get there. That's the reason, why they are always so tense. It's a permanent overflow of emotions, the good and the bad ones."

Yrina turned her face away but still listened. She always had a problem to show that she was emotionally touched. To her it was only a declaration of weakness.

"And than he did something stupid. He needed a release and the easiest way to him was a release in the arms of a woman. It's as simple as that, Callida, nothing more, nothing less. He simply enjoyed to be desired, to be wanted. Never did he love her or planed to be with her. And he surely didn't want to father a child. He was drunk, when it happened."

I listened closely to every word he said ....and got angry. "Why couldn't Gaisgeil himself explain everything to me, in exact the same way you did, Ronan?", I replied with heated emotions.

Here we stood, in the cold, at the borders of Nefaria, walking on separate ways, when Gaisgeil could have easily prevented our break up. I wasn't stupid nor vengeful ...I would have understood.

"Because Ronan is a Dhaoine, and the Dhaoine are very sensual and emotional beings, Callida. Ronan isn't afraid to give in to his feelings. Gaisgeil is a Creachadair ...", Ai shrugged her small shoulders.

Ronan straightened his posture. He scanned Ai's face lovingly. Ai went stiff under his gaze, lowering her head.

The big Dhaoine stepped in front of the small woman, rising her chin with his index finger. Yrina an I observed the whole scene with soft smiles. I elbowed Yrina with a smirk. She rolled her eyes on me.

"Ai, you are a Daonnachd, and therefore you can't feel what I feel. The moment I saw you on your horse, throwing those darts around, I knew, you were my secod chance of love. You triggered something inside of me. But I thought you were evil and cruel, that's why I didn't act upon my instinct. My first destined, she rejected me. I wasn't good enough for her, and I fell into a deep and dark place. But slowly I regained my happiness with the help of Gaisgeil. He gave me a purpose when he made me chief commander of arms."

"And now, I feel as strong for you as for a real destined." 

He carressed her cheeks with his fingers. "I love you, I want you so much. I want to take care of you and your sisters. We'll be a family. Please, think about it, if you could ..."

Ai jumped into his arms, kissing a surprised Ronan. Behind their backs you heard hands clapping. The Islendigur were cheering on the newfound loving pair. One pair of eyes caught my attention.

Gaisgeil - his bitter face expressed all his feelings: resentment, rejection, anger ..longing and craving.

Suddenly he turned around and fled, followed by Ceallach.

How do you like Ronan? More than Gaisgeil, I bet! If you liked the chapter, please vote for "Destined".