Family Love 💠 [1]

My life in Shambles

I hadn't spoken to Henry in days. I had moved into the house with Sophie and Ellie, I didn't want to leave him alone but I couldn't exactly leave a two year old alone and Ellie chose to come. Sophie is constantly asking about him and I honestly don't know what to say. I don't keep her away I wouldn't dream of that. His just always working so it seems like forever between the times they see each other, especially now I'm not really going to visit the unit. I barely sleep anymore. If it's not for the fact I've been next to Henry for 31 years it's the constant flashbacks of that night driving me insane. I knew deep down I shouldn't be living here but I didn't want to go home or burden anyone else. There have been times where Sophie is playing happily by herself and I suddenly see blood everywhere, it takes a few minutes for me to realise that everything is ok. Edward thinks I'm crazy for living here, gets why I kept it but doesn't understand why I live here no. He can't even step foot in the house. Cathrine and her two children have constantly been bugging me, also driving me insane. She wants to get closer be sisters again. Kaci is annoying Flynn and Lexi she a lot like her mother. I just feel bad for Nathan his mum and sister dictate everything he lost his father and now his at their mercy. To make it worse I have been going over all the old case files and new evidence about my families murders, bring up a lot of hidden memories and flashbacks.

A knock at the door makes me sigh. I put my tea down on the counter, was kinda hoping it would calm me so far nothing. Before I walk to the door opening it. "Heard you were staying here" I sigh seeing my beside friend I just turn leaving the door open for him to enter and close it behind him, walking back into the kitchen to sip on my tea and watch the trees sway. "So it's really that bad" "I'm living here aren't I...have Tiger Mowgli and Frank here along with Sophie and Ellie left Myrtle with him" he nods "I know his not good I just don't know how you are" I should feel good that his not good, he is the one who broke us. But all I feel is bad I want to go and hug him holding him tight. "I'm a mess Al" I had tears in my eyes making him sigh walking over pulling me to him "what happened" I look at him confused. Henry has probably told him over drinks. Henry probably sent him. "Is he still taking to bunny" he looks confused "I guess he didn't tell you everything" I stare at my tea "how much time do you have" "as long as you want me" I nod turning around pulling a bottle of whiskey out of the cupboard and a glass "cause I might need you to watch soph or call someone to watch her if we are going to have this conversation" he nods following me to the table. "It started when she went missing the distance I mean I don't blame the coldness on him he works best like that and I was probably pretty cold to. He would visit in the hospital no matter how many times me and Sophie begged making it so very lonely even though she had so many visitors. The distance was there but we tried Al we gave it everything when she came home" I sigh taking a massive gulp of the whiskey pouring a new glass "I could tell Erin was lying to me about the day she was kidnapped, my gut told me Henry knew and just wasn't telling me. I ignored it I thought I was being crazy that he would tell me. Then Jay accidentally mentioned how he was talking to Bunny, he figured I knew and wanted to know if he should be worried said Erin gave him some half assed reasoning of why she was around. He was so apologetic when he realised I didn't know. Please don't tell Henry it wasn't his fault, Henry usually does tell me things" I drink the glass before pouring another just swirling the bronze liquid around. "My mind instantly went back to then. I was so scared that I would loose him to her. I started to question everything. I asked him about it asked about the kidnapping mentioned Erin acting weird, asked about bunny...he lied Al said to leave it alone that nothing was happening he didn't even know where bunny was" I run my hand through my hair sighing "that when I decided I needed to know if I was being irrational so I made a judgment call a bad one but I had to do something I would loosing him loosing trust in him" "what did you do" "I had a friend get me his phone records. They didn't speak but some found out and told him he was furious. He was always talking to bunny for minutes at a time. By time we say each other he knew what I did and I knew he was lying we were both mad so there was yelling a lot of yelling. I point blank asked him if he was sleeping with her and he called me delusional that he wouldn't do that to me, I reminded him he already did it once. Which made him even more pissed I told him if he couldn't explain the twenty seven phone calls and the hundreds of messages then I'm going to assume his sleeping with her and I can't be in the same house as a man who's lying to me" I drink the glassing rubbing my face before pouring another "I started only coming here on the days I knew he would be home early but then he figured that out so he started to always come home late just to sleep beside me so I moved out took Sophie with me and gave Ellie a choice. Tell him to message me when he wants to see soph I don't want to keep him from her and she wants to see him" he nods "I'm not sleeping Al I'm not use to sleeping alone on top of that I'm having nightmares about that night I'm crying constantly about my marriage that's in shambles...Im also hallucinating the blood I think it's a hallucination it's in the same places it was that night I usually only snap out when someone touches me or Soph screams she apparently has the prefect pitch" he smiles I rub my face "so I'm not ok I know all my adult children are worried" he looks at me confused "Ellie told Flynn how she hears me cry and the nightmare and the zoning out...he told Justin who told Eddie, Charlie, Connor and Adam who told people and before I can blink they all know" he nods "so now they are asking and I feel horrible for snapping but I don't want them in this mess it's mine and Henry's" he nods "yeah Lexi mentioned you weren't good ask if I knew how you were" I smile "how do you like the new couple" "he hurts her his going to be buried but there isn't anyone else that could treat her right he has your kind caring side so I guess I will keep my mouth shut just until she comes crying" "oh god I'm not looking forward to that day the Voights and Olinskys at war I don't think that's ever happened" "no it hasn't but it will if she gets hurt" "yeah I don't know what I'm going to do she's my goddaughter my first daughter I watched her while you and Meredith worked I still had a ten year old...and his my grandson his like a calmer kinder younger Justin" "he is" I nod sighing resting my head on his shoulder drinking other glass.