Aiming for Hades

35

Kumalas siya sa pagkakayakap sa 'kin at umawang ang labi.

"Don't... Don't l-lie, please..." he looked so shocked about it.

Kinagat ko ang labi at nadurog dahil sa reaksyon niya. Here is the man I loved the most. Here is the man who shared his love... his passion... his growth... with me. I saw it all. I felt it all. Kaya kahit ngayong kakakita ko lang ulit sa kanya... kakausap... Naramdaman kong ito pa rin siya. He just matured more. Grow more. But this is still my Hades. My love.

All these years, I have focused on the pain of the people around me and mine, but I just then realized that I never did really focused on Hades' pain.

Damn! Of course, Janela, he is hurting, too! Noong iniwan ko siya, ano kayang ginawa niya? Noong pinaghihiwalay kami ni Tita Demeter at kumalas nga ako, ano kayang naramdaman niya? Though, I said it was for us, deep in my heart, I know it was just for me and my son, Ares! It was just to keep me and Ares safe! To leave Hades, for me and my son to be kept.

Para sa kanya rin para bumalik siya sa pagka-CEO. Para sa kanya rin para hindi na siya mahirapan. Iyon ang lagi kong sinasabi no'n. Pero bakit nga ba ako umalis dati? Para hindi ko na magulo si Tita Demeter, 'di ba? Kasi naiintindihan ko ang sakit nanararamdaman niya! Para hindi na rin niya kami magulo. Kasama pa ng anak ko. Para hindi niya magulo si Ares!

And then... my Mom died...

And you gotta admit, Janela, that you did focused on people's pain but never quite with Hades. Always became concerned with people but really, never quite with him.

Kung aalis nga ako at maibabalik sa kanya ang pagka-CEO, kahit pa hindi ko talagang binase sa nararamdaman niya ang mga desisyon ko dati, parang naiintindihan ko na ngayon. Kung aalis nga ako... Maibabalik sa kanya ang pagka-CEO. Hindi na siya guguluhin ni Tita Demeter. Ano naman? That was what Hades would think! Kung aalis ako! Wala siyang ibang iisipin kung hindi ang pag-iwan sa kanya!

Hades... I know I really wanted to leave you to escape from the pain of our situation... but I hope you knew how much I love you! I hope you felt it. I hope... I...

Inintindi ko ang nararamdaman ng iba pero pagdating kay Hades, ang babaw ng mga iniisip ko!

To ask me to settle down, begged that he can provide for us even when we're still young...

Ano kayang naramdaman niya noong sinabi ni Harry na siya miserable ako sa kanya? He would always fight for me, I know! But then... noong sinabi iyon ni Harry... At umalis na ako no'n! Sapat na ang rason ko no'n para magpakalayo-layo! Nang hindi manlang iniisip kung anong magiging epekto kay Hades ng gagawin ko!

Hades... Hades, mahal... I know. I just know. Hades, I will spend this life forever appreciating you. Loving you. And our family.

I love you so freaking much! I'm so sorry!

Another set of tears rushed down his cheeks and he cried again, hugging me.

"E-Elle..." he called, the pain in his voice were very, very evident.

"I have a child! Damn it, we... w-we have a child, Elle!"

Niyakap ko siya nang mas mahigpit.

"I-I'm so... so... s-sorry, Hades... I'm so sorry!" paulit-ulit ko iyong sinabi, tila nagdadasal.

Humikbi siya muli at nadudurog lang ang puso ko kada maririnig 'yon.

"C-Can I... meet... my child... p-please..." he asked, still weeping.

Agad-agad ang pagtango ko. Paulit-ulit 'yon. Tatanggapin niya si Ares! Tanggap niya si Ares! Mahal niya... Mahal niya ang anak ko... Ares, baby, here's your father... he accepts you... he loves you! He loves us, baby!