Aiming for Hades

40

"Who would put up with your attitude, Hades?! Kung ganyan ka lagi, talagang wala!" my father shouted at me and gave me another punch.

Napangiwi ako sa sakit pero dahil lagi naman niyang ginagawa 'yon, nawawala rin agad at namamanhid.

"You fucking bastard! Lagi na lang akong pinatatawag sa putang-inang school na 'yan dahil sa mga pinagsasasabi mo sa mga teacher mo! Tang-inang bata!" he gave me another punch and I felt my lips bleeding.

"Walang kwenta!" he said at the end and went out of my room.

Napasandal ako sa gilid ng kama. My lips keeps bleeding but right at the moment, I felt numb. I looked at ceiling of my room and recalled what happened. Mainit ang dugo sa 'kin lagi ng mga teacher ko dahil 'daw' sa tabas ng dila ko. 'Pag ipinapahiya nila ako, ipinapahiya ko rin sila. It was satisfying anyway. In the first place, why are there teachers who wants to shame their students?

They only have one job, to teach students and my parents pay for their services. Hindi sila binabayaran para ipahiya ang mga istudyante nila na gusto lang naman matuto.

No one dared to become friends with me, ever since, because of my words, too. I often overheard them talking about me saying I have a scary face, the one that looks like I'm gonna punch someone even just by the way I stare. But hell I care with that. Who need a friend, anyway? If they don't want to become friends with me, who told them I do? Who fucking needs you? No one! Scary face and brutally honest shits. Shut the fuck up.

Kinagat ko ang labi ko sa naisip pero napaungot ako nang masaktan sa sariling ginawa.

"Fuck," I cursed.

Napakababaw. Iyon lagi ang naiisip ko sa mga rason ni Dad sa pambubugbog niya sa 'kin. Wala akong reaksyon lagi. I don't shout for help or anything, for I think it will make my father feel that he really hurts me with his punches. Hinding-hindi ko ipararamdam sa kanyang gano'n. He's not fucking worth it.

"Doon daw ang mga grade 10 sa court! May program! Grupo-grupo raw, may mga palaro!" someone shouted when I went to school.

Grupo-grupo? Tang-inang 'yan. Pumunta na lang ako sa court kahit alam kong wala akong magiging kagrupo. Fuck my life. At home, my father always fucking gives me bruises and my mother doesn't care about it. At school, I have no one to talk with! I have no goddamned friends. Being tired at my house, at my school, at everything felt so fucking heavy.

Until one day, I felt like I'm gonna fucking explode.

Who need a friend, anyway? Me! Fuck!

I knew needed someone to fucking talk with. Fucking cringe but I need some fucking company! But because of my pride, I didn't exerted any efforts on finding any friends. I stayed that way. Though, I joined a basketball team and soon then, luckily, became the team captain, there where I express what I feel. To always be mad about anyone.

And maybe, I found some acquaintances.

"Galing, pare! Grabe ka na talaga, ah," Cohen stated.

Ngumiwi ako sa kanya. Kinuha ko ang bottled water at ininom 'yon.

"Tangina, p're, sikat na sikat team natin dahil kay Hades!" sabi pa ni George. Mga ka-team mate ko.

"Legit! That's why I envy this Xavier so fucking much. Suplado amputa pero ang daming nagkakagusto!" sabi pa ni Joseph.

Umiling lang ako dahil wala naman akong pakealam sa mga nagkakagusto sa 'kin. I just easily reject them. But there come a time that I became attracted with someone... that doesn't even like me.

"I told you! I didn't like that Hades Xavier, noong una pa lang, Pat! Ni-reject ka niya ng gano'n-gano'n lang?!" Monique, a school mate shouted at her friend. "Taas ng tingin sa sarili! Does he feel that he's god?! It's just his name!"