Summer

Lured

I wasn't sure what to expect, but it sure wasn't everyone staring at me like I had grown two heads overnight. I mean it was a party and I used to be a huge part of the crowd before. Before everything had happened over the summer, and I stopped pretending for myself. But the thing was that I never stopped pretending for all these people. All the people I've known forever, all the people who should know me, and yet there was nothing. No one cared when I left and now they all hold out to see who I am since I came back. They wanted to figure me out, this stupid blonde girl who had always seemed shallow and full of herself. But I refused to give them one inch of who I truly was.

Instead I let them think, or say what they truly thought about me. Even as their eyes seared through me as I walked through the door. I couldn't let them take anymore than they already had. I couldn't, I just couldn't. But then why was it that I felt so suffocated and everything was closing in at once? If I really wanted them to leave me alone, why couldn't I be more brave? Just let them know I wanted them to stop.

But as they watched my every move, I knew why. I could feel it in everything I did. Everything I said. It wasn't because I didn't know what to say, or what to do. It was because as much as they hated and feared me, I was the one who truly hated myself. I didn't care enough about myself to tell them to stop.

And I wasn't sure I ever would.

And so I walked to the kitchen, grabbing the first cup I saw and downing it before I even saw what was inside. It burned my insides and made everything feel like I was slipping but I didn't give a fuck. Then I took another bottle and filled my cup to brim, about to gulp down even more when I noticed someone staring at me. Not just someone. A person who glared at me like I was the most disgusting person he had ever seen. It was someone I was sure I'd never face again. And then there he was.

Tommy Miller, the one boy I ever liked besides Brent, and well Ace. He had been new last year and quickly joined the football team with Brent. I went to every pratice because of cheer pratice and Brent, but soon I found myself spending time with Tommy. I thought he was kind of lanky with his dark hair and pale skin in contrast to his icy blue eyes, but also cute at the same time. He was really sweet and knew how to make me laugh. I thought we could actually be something. But that ended terribly when Brent found out. He confronted him, which only resulted in me being called a slut in front of the whole school by Tommy himself. 

I remembered feeling so hurt and thinking I had never done anything with him besides a few sweet kisses. He showed me a side of himself I didn't know he had. I never thought he would have been a person to hurt me. But I quickly learned that everyone hurt me, whether they meant it or not. After that he pleaded with me to forgive him, following me around for weeks. And I said no everytime. I couldn't forgive him for hurting me, even though I was hypocrite. I was the worst one of them all because I wanted someone who would never want me back. And it was sweet, agonizing torture that I put myself through for nothing.

And if I was being honest it wasn't just because he hurt me, but because in my mind I thought Brent had finally choose me. That he really wanted me like I wanted him. I was hopeful that all this back and forth between us would be over. But as usual I was wrong because shortly after telling Tommy no for the final time, I found Brent fucking a girl behind the bleachers. And everyone was there. Including Tommy who laughed at my face crumbling like it was funniest thing he had ever seen. And I hadn't seen him since, because I had praticed avoiding him like the plague.

Now Tommy was here, glaring at me with so much hate I felt sick. It was actually kind of nerve racking because he wouldn't take his eyes off of me. Sarah, one of the girls on my squad, was clinging to him like she would die if she let go. She was a typical pretty girl, soft red waves and bright green eyes with a slender body that attracted all the guys to her. But she never gave in to anyone. Last thing I knew she was new to the team and very inexperienced with guys. It still seemed like that, her eyes glued to Tommy like a puppy begging for a treat. I knew Tommy was an asshole and she would probably be destroyed by him but it wasn't my place.