Summer

Lade

I was watching him. On his bed laying on my belly, head propped against my hands, I watched him walk around his room to pull on his clothes. We had just finished fucking but I wanted him again. And again and again. It was really a problem, one I hadn't bothered to fix. One I didn't seem to want to fix. He found his shirt, holding it in his hands and walked over to me. I quickly sat up to look up at him as he stood at the edge of the mattress, wondering what he was going to do. That was until he tossed the shirt at me and every thought of us beneath the sheets disappeared.

"Get the fuck out." I recognized the shirt as mine and pulled it over my head with a scowl. I stood up, trying to spot where he tossed my underwear and shorts. We had been so caught up in it that we hadn't given a fuck where our clothes went. "Shit. Move faster Summer, I have somewhere to fucking be."

I didn't say a word hating how fast he could change. He could be such an asshole but when he was inside me, I loved it and the dirty, filthy words that came out of his stupid mouth. I found my silk panties and slid them over my legs. And I was about to take my time finding my cotton shorts when they smacked me in the face. I gritted my teeth, trying everything not to throw them back at him.

"Asshole." I huffed and turned away from him so I could pull my shorts on. That was until he was behind me, his bare chest against my back. His hand slid underneath my shirt, scorching flames running across my skin as his fingers moved over my belly and lower, lower. I leaned back against him and that was when his other finger wrapped and twirled a strand my hair. Yanking, pulling my head back to meet his lips. His silver eyes were drilling through me and I felt like he could see everything I was.

We could hear the words, feel the heat grinding and sliding under us, shifting up into our bodies and that was everything I could never tell him. I could feel this emotion swell up and burst until it was leaking through and suddenly the words I never could say were everywhere. More than anything I wanted him to see. I wanted the way he breathed over my skin to stop the burning, to settle what was happening in my heart. And so I let him have the parts of me that no one else would ever have.

Until I heard soft ringing, something pulling me out of the daze. Ace cursed and moved away so fast that I almost stumbled. His phone sat on the nightstand and as he answered it, I pulled on my shorts and left his room. I wanted to stay. More than anything, I wanted him to tell me to stay. But he didn't. So I didn't, closing the door softly behind me.

It was in my room, I let myself remember what we had done and I'd lay down to repeat it over, over until I'd feel myself doze off. I never wanted to forget. It was something that had to end soon, but right now I relished in what we had. Even if it wasn't real. Even if everything was for nothing, and I'd burn with all emotions he made me feel.

Somehow I had caught myself in this corner, given in and now I was falling deeper than I had ever anticipated. I wanted to say I hated what I was doing. I wanted to say that I knew it was wrong. But the truth was that I didn't care, I had the exact notion of what I was doing and it didn't make a difference.

I wanted to sleep, to stop my mind from thinking and wandering. But there were some nights I couldn't. I'd stay up night analyzing everything, trying to forget the way his eyes bore into mine and remember that we had almost no time left. Was I stupid? Was I too into his lips, was I wrong for the taut skin feathered and brushing against mine? It was all night some days that I'd try to close my eyes, but there was no sleep.

It was only the next day, class was almost over and my phone buzzed that I realized I was in this alone. That I was one carrying everything. That's how it would probably always be. And all he did was prove me more right.

Ace: We can't fuck anymore, don't come to my room.

My first thought was that I wanted to kill him. Like rip out his throat, spill his guts all over the floor murder. My next thought was that this how it had to be. It was better this way, knowing that we couldn't continue the way we were. That was until I realized I actually had to keep myself away from him. I had to give up my nights, the nights that were the only thing that meant something to me. And panic started to spike all over my skin. All over my head, shoving everything down to ground underneath where my feet froze.