Summer

Line

You up for coffee? Need to talk.

I sat up in my bed, blinking and rubbing the sleep from my eyes. And then I blinked again to try to clear my eyes because the person asking me for coffee was the last person I thought would want to see me on a saturday. Actually it was the last person I wanted to see ever, especially after that stunt she pulled a couple weeks ago. But I knew if I didn't she'd be a fucking bitch about it on monday. So I decided to text her and let her know I would meet her.

Talia responded back almost immediately, letting me know that she wanted to meet somewhere near her house. I groaned and rolled back on my pillow. I held my face there, trying to suppress all my anger into the pillow. It wasn't like I was proud of what I did to her. I fucking hated it that I lost it like that, and in front of Ace too. He hadn't talked to me since. And it hurt because I wanted to talk about the kiss.

At first I wanted to tell him it was nothing, that I didn't mean it. But the more I thought about it the more I realized I did mean it. I wanted to kiss him, and it was more than a distraction for me. I didn't know if it was like that for him. All I knew was the silence, the pretending I was nothing to him was killing me.

And it was wrong, so wrong how bad I yearned for him. We were supposed to be siblings in a few months. I knew I just had to keep telling myself it was nothing, that kiss and everything that happened over the summer. In a way I knew it was better this way. That we were better off pretending that we were strangers to each other. It was just everytime I looked over at him, everytime he glanced my way for second, everything would come rushing back and I'd forget what we were supposed to be.

My phone buzzed again, so I decided to lift myself off the bed and get ready to go. My lights flicked on with the touch of a button and then I was in my closet grabbing the first outfit I could find. As I started to get ready, my mind started to wonder what Talia wanted to talk about. My head filled with the possibilities of what it could be and before I knew what happening I could feel the panic start to swirl inside me.

What if she wanted to tell me she was fucking Ace? That she wanted to fuck Ace? Or that she knew that I was a spineless, weak person who was beneath her? And she was taking my squad? That I was slut like my mother? An asshole like my father? That in reality, I was actually nothing, not her or anyone?

The thoughts wouldn't stop getting worse as I stepped in the shower, feeling like I couldn't breathe as I slid the brush through my hair and stumbling my way into my shoes, as I wobbly walked to car. It didn't stop on the way to the coffee shop and by the time I was there I felt like I could cry. I didn't even want to go in anymore. All I wanted to do was go back to bed and stay there until I had no choice. But I closed my eyes, taking in a deep breath before walking in. It didn't help much but it was better than nothing.

The coffee shop had a mix of dark brown worn out couches, soft cozy seats and sticky brown tables with squeaky old chairs. It was not a place I had foreseen Talia being at. I could see the buzzing energy all around me, hear the noisy chatter through the smell of coffee wafting through the air. I didn't know where I was looking but I wasn't trying enough. Honestly I was hoping she wouldn't be here, that I could leave. But as usual I was never that lucky because I found her sitting at one of the tables.

There she sat with coffee between her fingertips, looking beautiful and polished at eight in the morning. Out of place amoung all the people that surrounded her. I didn't know how I looked but it sure wasn't that. She looked up, glancing over the people searching for one person. Me. Her eyes finally caught mine, her lips stayed tight and grim as she waved me over with a flick of her finger. I walked over with a sigh and softly sat down as one of the chairs scraped against the floor underneath me.