Summer

Lament

That night I couldn't sleep, couldn't seem to get comfortable no matter how times I tossed and turned. It was too quiet. It was too cold. And also I was currently sleeping in Derek's loft upstairs on the couch that felt as hard as rocks. Maybe it was just because I felt alone, or maybe it was because I hadn't slept alone in weeks. It could have been that my mind kept drifting off to Ace. I kept wondering where he was, where he had gone, but most of all why he left. Everytime I closed my eyes I could see him. I could almost feel him next to me.

And then I'd feel the tears come, the hurt he was causing me would piss me off and I'd shut down all my thoughts of him. Or at least I tried to. It didn't make sense to me because with Brent it had been easy. I just told myself to stop thinking of him and that was it. But with Ace, I couldn't seem to shut him out. I kept thinking of us on the boat, the way he had pulled me close and made me feel connected to someone for the first time in my life. Now it was over.

Currently it was dark, I was facing the couch cushions shutting my eyes and trying to relax enough to fall asleep. Then the door behind me opened. I felt my heart suddenly start to race, and for a moment I thought it was Ace. But I didn't want to let myself hope so I didn't turn around. I just laid there, keeping my eyes shut.

"Summer?" Instead of hearing Ace, I heard the familar voice of Allison. What the fuck? Was she following me? "Are you following me?" She asked and at this I sat up to look at her.

"No." I looked at her, but it was so dark that I could barely see the outline of her face. "Derek let me sleep here."

"Of course." She sighed. "That makes sense."

"Why are you here?" I asked, suddenly curious because as far as knew Derek wasn't into women. Maybe I was wrong and he had something on side? If that was the case, then I'd kick him in the ass for cheating on Ken. That was the last thing he deserved after all I had heard and seen him do.

"I'm his sister." Her voice was so soft, low it was hard to hear what she said. But I heard every word. Suddenly I thought of what she had said about Ace, about the things she had told me and the things Derek had told me. It just didn't make any sense to me. If Ace had been friends with Allison since they were kids and he still left her, then what chance did I ever have? I wished I had known this sooner. It could have saved from ever falling for the stupid, beautiful prick. Although another thought I had told me I most likely would have still fallen for him.

"His sister?" I sighed and leaned back on the side of the couch. "Now I know what you meant when you said you knew him better than anyone else."

"Yeah." Was all she said. "I said I thought I did." Allison stopped for a moment to let out a loud, heavy sigh and contined talking. "But now..now I'm not so sure. I think I knew him before he went off the rails, before everything happened. We weren't best friends or anything but we we were pretty close as kids. But then his dad died...something changed inside him. And he left without a word." I could see her fidgeting with something on her shirt, this next part was making her nervous for some reason. "I didn't see him for a while, for a about a year actually. And then he came back. I tried to talk to him, but he didn't seem to want to talk." I swear even though it was dark I could see a blush on her cheeks. And for reason it pissed me off. I didn't want it to because I had no claim to him, not anymore but I couldn't help it.

She continued talking. "As soon as he came back into town, we kissed which somehow ended up leading to sex." At the thought of it I involuntary winced. "And we had to hide from Derek. I thought I was special, the more we snuck around and I thought he actually wanted to be with me." Allison let out a shaky breath before she said her next words. "Until Derek found out and for some reason he wasn't even pissed at us. But then he told me Ace was having sex with lots of girls, not just me. Derek told me that he was going through a lot and wasn't able to actually control his emotions at the time. Of course I didn't believe him because I kept seeing Ace. That's how we spent the night in this loft. I thought we talked, but after he left I realized it was just me talking to him and him supplying answers. He wasn't actually there, instead someplace far away from me. It was then I realized how right Derek was."