Summer

Limited

Sloane stood in front of me, her eyes distant and looking off to the side as I tried to reason with her. She was still pissed and I didn't blame her. For the past few weeks, she had been avoiding me and I let her. But now I was done, because I missed her. Or rather I felt lonely. Either way, I couldn't take it anymore. And I wasn't sure how to explain. How to even start, everything I did was because of the mess I buried myself in. The feelings I couldn't seem to sort through, just this cloud of silver lining that I had tried over and over to grasp. But that was over now. It was over.

"Sloane, please talk to me." I begged her, needed her to say something. I was tired of this silence. "I promise I'll tell you everything you want to hear." It was a lie. There were some things I couldn't tell her, things that needed to stay buried but she didn't need to know that. What she did need to know was what I could tell her. "Please, please I'm so sorry."

Sloane sighed like she was giving up, coming over to sit next to me at the table. "I don't want you to tell me anything. I just want to understand why you had to lie." Her eyes watered with unshed tears as she looked at me. "I thought we were closer than that."

I wanted to tell her that we could have been. That if I was a different person, it'd be more simple and we could actually have a relationship without distrust. But I was too guarded. I was scared, alone and angry, not that I'd ever admit that to her. But I also didn't want to lose her. The person who had helped me when I was unsure of my next step, throwing fries, staying up all night and showing me movies I had never seen before, it was what I didn't want to let go of.

"We are." I reached for her hand, but she pulled it away. It made everything inside me freeze as I wondered what she was going to say next. "Sloane, don't. We're gonna live together, me and you, right?"

She shook her head. "No. We can't." My heart shattered into a million pieces. This wasn't happening. This couldn't happen. I was going to get away, shed this image and the people who hurt me, leave behind the one person who had my heart. But now, in an instant, I was still laying on my bed, crying to the moon everynight. "I'm sorry." And the tears were spilling down her cheeks now. "It's not that I don't...it's just that...Summer if you can't trust me, how can we live together?"

"I do trust you." I lied through my teeth. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I was just so scared, I didn't know what to do." Sloane reached for my hand this time. It was a small gesture, but it was a start to maybe repairing what I broke between us. "I want to live with you. You, Natasha and the twins." I pleaded once more.

"We'll talk about it." Sloane said, but I knew by the way she looked away, we wouldn't. It was most likely never gonna happen. "I just want us to talk more, okay? It doesn't mean yes or no. Just that I need to think it over more."

"Okay." I gave her a small smile, which she returned and then she glanced me over, sighing in distaste. I knew it was because of the bags I was trying to hide. The slight hollow in my cheeks indicating that I hadn't really been eating as well. "I actually have something to ask you." She nodded, her lips set in a hard line.

"My friend wants to have a sleepover here. And I was wondering if wanted to come?" Sloane opened her mouth and then closed it, like she was unsure of what to say to that. "Please it would mean the world to me." And it really would, something to get my mind off of everything else that was going on. "The wedding is in a few days, so you'll be leaving soon. Please Sloane, I don't want anyone else to come."

"Okay. But it better just be us three." I grinned, ear to ear as I reached over to hug her. This made her stiffen. I couldn't remember when I had hugged her, probably never but I felt overwhelmed by her decision and I had to. "T-thank you, Summer." Her cheeks flushed as I pulled back. Her eyes were gleaming, looking at me like I was a mystery. I didn't want to tell her that I fucking hated that. "I better go get my stuff ready. I'll meet you in your room, later?"