Summer

Lid

I didn't go to school for a week after leaving the hospital. The docters explained what happened just as Ace did, telling me I had stitches, giving a list of things I wasn't allowed to eat for a few weeks, and the pain meds they slipped into my hands. I knew I'd need those. My throat was already making me wince, even breathing was taking a lot out of me. I was escorted home by my Father's secretary, a woman who was as sharp and curt as I expected her to be. Barely saying two or more words to me before dropping me off.

I dismissed her, knowing she'd never last and my Father would hire someone new before I could even remember who she was. He was like that with everyone who worked for him. If something or someone didn't work, he'd drop it before they could see it coming. I knew how he worked and I had seen it happen all my life. The only thing he couldn't drop was me, and I knew, I fucking knew he'd do it in a heartbeat if he could.

I tried not to look over at Brents house, wondering if he was home, waiting and watching. I didn't want him to but I hated that a part of me missed him. That I could remember way, way before everything got intense and broken between us. When we were friends. Nothing more, nothing less and it was so simple. But he takes everything we were and smears it until it's stained with something dark, all the childlike innocence turned into something sinster that I never wanted.

When we first met Brent was stripped away of everything, he was just this simple and honest little boy who had the brightest smile. We were the best of friends and I found someone who I thought actually understood me. The two of us did everything together. I could remember some days when I thought we could run away, just ditch our parents and everything else. It was after Duke was when he really started to change, turning into this twisted person that I could never figure out.

I started to hate him, his eyes so dark and hidden which a contrast from how open and happy he was before. But it's a conflict of wanting that person he was. Trying to hang on to the glimpses of the person he used be, pushing me away and keeping me at a distance. Before I left I thought I understood some parts of him. But now I have no idea, I couldn't be his friend anymore, not like this. But I appreciated that he was there for me and I guess I could leave it there.

I grabbed a bottle of water, the pills rattling in my pocket reminding me and I slinked back to my room. I didn't turn on the lights and slugged over to my bed. Twisting, holding the pill in my hand before gulping it back with the water. I held up my phone and saw all the messages, fake concern, people wishing me well and I slammed it back it down on my bed. There was nothing from him.

I hadn't seen him since that night, a few days ago and I wanted to see him, I felt like I needed to see him. Everything inside me threatened to burst and all I could think back to was how close he was. How he smelled, the warmth of his body heat coaxing me further into him and the only thing racing through my mind was how he squeezed my hand. How that little act could make my head spin? We had had sex many times now, but somehow it felt more real. Like the feeling of him so close could make everything better.

It couldn't, and we weren't really anything but I wanted so much more than Ace would give me. I really loved him. I loved the way he was silent, barely expressing himself and yet he could take over a whole room with just his presence. I loved when he barely brushed against me and I couldn't seem to think straight for a few seconds. The way he was so harsh, but so honest it killed me and set me on fire at the same time.

He was so guarded, I barely knew anything about him but I knew something happened with his Father. Something he wouldn't talk about. It was something enough to make him put up walls and shut out everyone around him. But there were moments, this little moments when he'd take care of me without a word and I knew he understood the pain I was buried under. That was what I loved the most about him, how he knew and didn't push me, just always helping me without a word.