Summer

Lullaby

I couldn't breathe. Who was she, this girl who I didn't know was taking my whole world behind her. Giggling and sneaking kisses as he pressed her against the door. Her beautiful curls twisted, wrapping around him like a spell. Eyes looking at him through dark hooded lids, enticing him in every way. It was almost too much to watch. I thought we had was more. Especially after everything that happened recently, but like always I was wrong. Standing in my short, frilly sweetheart dress, all my makeup done and feeling like I was blowing apart as chunks, pieces of my heart were exploding.

I dropped my bag, it softly cluttered to the ground and both of their heads snapped up. His eyes found me first. I wasn't sure what we were, but this was fucked up. I didn't deserve this. I wanted someone who would actually wanted me back. But that didn't stop my heart from fluttering as he stalked closer, brushing a curl out of my face so gently I wasn't sure who he was.

"I really want to fuck you out of that dress." And there he was. This asshole with wolf eyes, wondering if it was right to fall to love with him. I didn't want him to see his words affecting me more than they already were. How dare he? How fucking dare he play with my heart like this?

"You have someone else for that." I scoffed at him, before glancing at the girl nervously standing there. It was hard to believe a minute ago she looked so sure. Not that I blamed her, Ace had a knack for making everyone around him feel unsure. It was something that attracted all of us. Not just me, something about him made you willing to drive yourself insane just to get near him. But I was fucking tired of these games. 

"Go to her. I'm fucking done." And I turned away, only to feel him grab the edge of my dress. He pulled me him so that we were chest to chest and I shoudn't have let him, shouldn't have told him no. But he kissed me and I melted like ice cream, dripping all over his hands. 

And for a moment I gave in, I let myself have this bittersweet, sugary moment. I let myself feel what was happening. It was like we were angry and there was so much tension between us. I wanted to feel him, to tear him open and see what was inside his mind. But I knew better. This could go on forever and ever, with me chasing and hoping for more. And he would only let me in to break me again.

So I shoved him away, catching him by surprise as he struggled to catch himself. I wasn't his fucking toy, something to wind up and toss whenever he was bored. And it was time he realized that.

"Fuck you." And then I stormed out the house, trying to wipe my tears before my date saw my eyeliner smeared across my cheeks. I had asked Cam at the last minute because I couldn't go alone, and he seemed like an easy choice. Easier than continuing to put my heart for someone who couldn't help but stomp on it.

Cam stood in front of my house, and I took a deep breath, putting on my composed face. I had to hide my broken heart. No one could know. It would make everything complicated, they would all pick and pull at me. I had to be their puppet, let them take control of the strings and lead me where they wanted to go. Starting with Cam.

He grabbed my hand, gently guiding me to his car and I couldn't explain it, but I felt physically sick. Climbing inside as he watched me like he knew what he wanted. He thought I was going to give it to him as soon as he whispered how beautiful I was. Kissing the top of my hand, gripping it so tight to let me know what he wanted without a word. I pulled my hand away with a scoff just as he tried to trail my hand along his leg.

"Summer, it's okay." He rubbed his hand over my bare shoulder, as if that was enough. As if I'd give in and let him do whatever he wanted. I'm sure he thought I was a slut, that I'd fuck whoever and whenever, but that wasn't the case. "I'll be gentle, I won't like the other guys. Promise."

I didn't say a word, staring at window as I tried to blink back tears. I wouldn't let this asshole see me cry. He wasn't worth my tears or my time. So why did I feel so destroyed, hoping that he could have been different? But no. Relaxing around a guy was too much, he always had to want and take.