Summer

Lavish

There once was a girl who was wondering about the moon, and the endless dark sky that swallowed everyone with it. How everything could seem so unsettling, and full of possibilities at the same time. The glitter and gleam of the stars were reflected in her soft doe eyes, unwavering and blurry from the tears dribbling down her pale cheeks. Her hands made tight fists that gripped onto the grass below her. She twisted and curled her mouth into something harsh, whispering about how people drift so far.

How people could hurt someone they cared about, until there was nothing but open wounds and screams that echoed into the night. Her eyes wondered to the spot next to her where there was nothing but air. Her soft, pattering breath was the only sound that surrounded her. And what once was a golden magical place was nothing to anyone now. Just an empty space, somewhere that she would watch the night sky and believe that everything would okay.

But was anything ever okay? Would it ever be okay again? She didn't believe so.

Sometimes she felt so alone, like no one could understand the burning inside of her, clawing to get out and scream at the world. It was watching and watching until someone could bend their form, slink back and sink their nasty claws into her. And her mind was always racing. There was never any room for a single thought, the idea of relaxation was long gone. The days were starting to spin around her like a carousel that had no end. What am I to do, who am I to be in this sick, depraved world she thought.

And the bracelet dangling around her wrist was proof, that everything was as fucked up as she thought it was. He told his lies. He whispered his stories, not once glancing over at her as she teared apart into the night, destroying what she once thought was real.

"I'm sorry." He glanced up at her, climbing back through her window. Just as he did every night. "I didn't know." And how could he ever know? This was all they ever had. It was all they were ever going to be. Nothing more, nothing less.

She wanted to say so much, to tell him that what he did was fucked up. And how he treated her was even more fucked up. That she was just as fucked for letting him. It was wrong, all of it. But she could't find the energy to say anything. Couldn't seem to find the meaning, the words to convey what she wasn't feeling. What the world took from her.

"Hey, say something, please?" It sounded like he was begging, but she should have known better. He didn't beg. He didn't have to. It was why when she stayed silent, his eyes narrowed and turned into slits. "If you don't say anything, I'm leaving. And I'm not coming back."

"No. Don't go." She didn't have to explode, to scream. There was no point as he nodded at her and pulled her over to her bed. And this person, this person was something twisted, not a hero and not someone to save her. Just a distraction.

He'd never tell her he loved her. Never hold her hand in public spaces, declare her to everyone else. It was never going to happen. But what did happen was dipping his hand inbetween her legs, whispering that she was all he thought about, sprouting lies like seeds buried under the dirt. But it was her fault because she let him. Wrapping herself around someone so cold, and unforgiving was the only way to get through the night.

Otherwise, what else was there?

I didn't mean to, Duke's private thoughts were supposed to be her own. But something was happening with her and I had to find out what it was. So I did the one thing I shouldn't have. I pulled her notebook out from under my bed and then I read it. Her words were beautiful, but also sadder than I thought possible. I looked over to where she was sleeping, and wondered what was going on through that head of hers.

Who was she really, if not this person that I cared about more than anything. Someone who understood heartbreak and sadness more than any of us. We were the same, me and her. More than I thought possible. It made me want to reach inside her soul and take away whatever was hurting her. And I wanted to know who this guy was, why he thought he deserved to treat her the way he did. Why she thought the same thing. It made my heart ache for her, the moon watching over the both of us and granting us nothing.